Stepping Out Of The Shadow
by Ficturesque
Summary: Young Bella is damaged by a shattered fantasy.  She meets Edward who is also damaged, but by a false reality.  Can they make something real together? The mind is a powerful place, is love stronger?  AU
1. Meeting James

A/N Young Bella is damaged by a shattered fantasy. She meets Edward who is also damaged, but by a false reality. Can they make something real together? The mind is a powerful place, is love stronger? AU

Disclaimer: All characters names and any cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer – thank you very much you generous woman. This story however, is mine.

Warning: Rated M, it will earn that in lemons later.

.

.

.

Even though the burning sun rays through the tiny slit in the black out curtains highlighted the lateness of hour, Bella didn't have it in her to lift her pinkie, let alone get up for school. Her limbs were lead heavy and had practically glued themselves to the mattress. Just concentrating on breathing in and out seemed too much. The sensitive skin on her face stung and was raw from the torrent of tears she had released.

What Bella hadn't accounted for was the repercussions of her lies, she had just wanted to be valued, treated as the adult she was trying to be.

.

.

When she first saw James she was instantly infatuated with him. She learnt that he had his own car and council flat -something most guys his age couldn't boast of. He worked in a factory labouring and had recently gained his forklift licence. Bella admired the fact he was making a go of his life unlike the other nineteen and twenty year olds who just smoked weed and drank beer from cans all day until their dole money ran out. She saw him as an honest working-man. A _good-looking_, honest working-man.

The boys at school didn't interest her in the slightest, they were just interested in trying to lose their virginities or seeing how many fingers they could insert whilst they clumsily tugged and groped the nearest willing female. She couldn't understand what the girls were thinking; did they not have any respect for themselves? Didn't they want to be cherished?

As Bella walked home, she slowed her paced as she passed the factory... _his_ factory, in the hope that she could steal a glance. Most nights she would see him lifting bales of clothing, his muscles flexing, hair dripping from an honest day's labour. Other times she would be left disappointed, a slight burn in her heart having not had her daily treat.

When she wasn't with friends she would fantasise about a life with him, imaging their first conversation, the way he would admire her beauty and hold her gaze with deep longing apparent in his eyes; eyes she was yet to see close up. What colour would they be, brown like hers? Pale, piercing blue like that other lad she once had a crush on? The conversations she conjured up whilst she washed the family dishes were witty and flirtatious. In her mind, he adored her.

As the night wore on, she'd plan a different scenario that would ensure a first kiss, one that was perfect - hesitant, slow, intensity increasing as their tongues touched and explored.

_It_ would be perfect.

_He_ would be perfect.

_They_ would be perfect.

About a month after her fifteenth birthday, Bella pulled on her skinny jeans and slipped her arms into her new dark green button up fitted blouse. She had decided no matter what, today she was going to talk to him. Leaving the schoolgirl behind, she left three buttons undone, exposing her cleavage that had been enhanced by the pretty push-up bra her mother had recently treated her to.

With a careful hand, make-up was applied; barely there eye shadow, lashings of mascara, a hint of blush and a dab of Vaseline to enhance her pouty bottom lip. Hair was never a worry for Bella, the long tendrils fell just so - length, volume and thickness that caused many girls to harbour intense jealously that they hid behind friendly compliments and flattery. Today she left it down, cascading over her shoulders, caressing every slant and curve of her tiny torso.

Her four-inch heels tapped her rhythm as she took the familiar route that would take her to the planned destination whilst she practised various lines in her head; Bella hoped one of them would be the exact one needed to pull this off.

"Hi gorgeous when d'you go to break? " Too forward, she surmised.

"I'm Bella, your James; we'll be sooo good together." Hmmm, definitely not, she didn't want to be cheesy nor presumptuous.

As it happened she didn't need her poorly rehearsed one-liners, James was working outside on the pavement counting stock, as it was unloaded from the container. She would need to walk by him, politely ask him to step aside so that she could squeeze through.

A wolf whistle ripped through the air, causing her to startle slightly. James glanced around looking for the chick who garnered such attention from his work buddy. He saw the brunette beauty and took a moment to appreciate her. Curves in the right places, a little too petite in some areas but hot nonetheless. She looked about his age; he figured he would have a little fun. He had already been at work four hours of his Saturday shift and needed some entertainment.

Bella sucked in a deep breath as she approached him; she had felt herself blush under his silent perusal. Lifting her chin slightly she continued on her mission.

"Hey Baby." Bella was thrilled by his attention and bit her bottom lip so that she could try to rein in the huge grin that was fighting to escape.

"Hey yourself." It had been her intention to be commanding and confident, but in reality managed soft and shy. This worked in her favour, as James liked women who were delicate and feminine.

"I've not seen you around this neck of the woods before. What brings you down here Sweetheart?" Bella laughed nervously but to her delight, she maintained eye contact - they _were_ blue, mesmerising, and hypnotic. She hadn't thought of a reasonable answer to this so she went with the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm looking for..." Only nothing did come to mind.

"What baby, what are you looking for?" He saw her hesitance but translated it as reluctance. "Sorry Sweetheart, you don't need to be explaining yourself to me – it was my feeble attempt to chat you up." He noticed Bella's eyebrow lift slightly but was immediately distracted by her breasts as she took a deep breath.

When Bella replied, James could hear the humour in her voice, "_That_ was a chat up line?" He dragged his eyes up to meet hers and he smirked when the small, amused smile confirmed she was teasing him.

He broke out into a full mega-watt smile, "I didn't say it was a particularly _good_ chat up line."

Bella didn't want this moment to end, he was everything she hoped he would be, but she didn't want the conversation to be stilted and as her brain was already working overtime to keep her vertical - words and sentences were taking a back seat. Just as she was about to carry on walking the colleague responsible for the wolf whistle jumped from the container.

"Dude, introduce me." His eyes danced as he appreciated the looker in front of him. James shoved his shoulder.

"Knock it off Laurent; she's out of your league." Bella's heart was beating its way out of her chest as she took in the scene before her.

"Oi, you pair, I don't pay your asses to stand there gossiping!" James didn't want to anger his Boss further, he'd already arrived ten minutes late for his shift this morning and was still on his six months trial.

Looking over his shoulder he reasoned, "Sorry Gaffer, I'll work over and make up the time!" He had placated the wage payer somewhat with his offer, earning a satisfied nod. He refocused on the sexy stunner, "Sorry about that Sweetheart." He hesitated for a second before taking out his mobile and asking for her phone number; she reeled of the digits and told him her name. "I'll call you later. Maybe...um, you want to hang out or something?"

"Sure, I'll let you get back to work."

James was already mentally stripping her as she walked away.

Another thing Bella hadn't accounted for was her return journey, she couldn't very well turn around a walk back the way she came, but to get back home she would have to walk through the school fields to the main road – not exactly the perfect terrain for high-heels.

After getting stuck for the third time, Bella removed her shoes and continued barefoot. She barely noticed the pain from stepping on small stones as she replayed their conversation, '_It was my feeble attempt to chat you up', 'Sorry about that Sweetheart', _he had called her Sweetheart. She also recalled how he looked at her, how he had only had eyes for her. Due to her innocence, she didn't recognise the pure hungry lust that emanated from his every pore.

.

.

To stop the memories assaulting her and pounding her head with regret, Bella forced her eyes open. It wasn't just her arms and legs' aching now, so was her heart.

.

.

James called her that night and Bella made sure he picked her up from down the road, there was no way her parents would have allowed her out with a man of his age. She lied to her parents telling them she was walking over to Jessica's, this was a regular occurrence so they had no reason to be suspicious.

James was not quite as perfect as she imagined.

He did not always say the right thing.

He certainly did not do the right thing.

Their first kiss was aggressive; he pressed himself against her and quickly brought his hand up to her breast. She reasoned that she was playing the part of an adult and this was what any red-blooded adult male would expect. This same reasoning granted him access to her most intimate of places, first with his hand, then his fingers before he finally took her virginity.

Her visions of tender were blurred as he pushed and pounded. Her perfect James turned out to be like the schoolboys she had slighted. James was not a hormone imbalanced child, he was her dream man, she hadn't expected this nightmare. She had gripped his shoulders hard, partly to help with the pain and partly to keep herself standing.

James was struggling to last, he wanted to make this good for her, and he wanted to feel her orgasm. Revelling in her gasps and moans, he pumped harder and faster.

"Baby, I can't... it's too good... I-I'm coming."

His release was intense, causing his knees to give a little. He buried his face into her long soft hair as he grunted and gasped. James placed a kiss on top of her head and tucked himself away.

"I know you didn't get yours Sweetheart, you want me to finish you off?"

Bella repositioned her clothes and looked everywhere but at him.

She felt sore, damp and dirty as what he left inside her seeped out and soaked her underwear. Desperate to get home Bella mumbled something about needing the toilet. James, feeling quite sated, thought the most courteous thing to do would be to give her a lift home so that she could clean up. He winced slightly as he considered their lack of protection and hoped that she was on the pill.

Their goodbye was a chaste kiss. Whilst leaning towards his puckered lips the pressure of the movement caused the burning and throbbing to increase. The pain was replaced by numbness as Bella opened the front door to her home. Chatter from the living room sounded distanced to Bella at that moment, even though she was barely metres from the room. She continued upstairs, locking the bathroom door before running the taps and striping bare.

She hoped the water would wash away the evening but it merely cleaned her skin of the foreign substance he had left behind.

.

.

.

A/N I know we're not James fans, at least _I'm_ not – but this wasn't rape. It's clear to us that she didn't want to have sex with him, but it wasn't clear to him. She was out of her depth and naively thought she couldn't/shouldn't stop him.

The chapters are short, but I'll be updating most days.

To those people you have me on Author Alert; HI - it's lovely to see you again...

Let me know your thoughts.

Ficturesque x


	2. Dressup

A/N Twilight's not mine, and neither is Rob... 'Tis sad but true.

.

.

.

Renee was concerned by her daughter's lethargy, but also remembered with clarity what a difficult emotional time her own last year of secondary school had been, what with exams and boys. She shuddered and her empathy increased for her own flesh and blood.

Bella's lack of communication and presence around the house increased her mother's worry after a week had elapsed. She had spoken with the school and staff had assured her that her friends were in the dark as to what might be upsetting the teenager.

After a week of moping and regret, the harsh reality of her first time was put on a back burner as Bella decided her experience had been a bitter pill to swallow, but it was done and there was nothing she could do to change it.

Physically she had recovered, emotionally she was getting there.

She had slowly realised that her imagery relationship had caused her to feel things for this man that he hadn't earned.

He had not spent the hours and hours with Bella that she had daydreamed.

He had not wined and dined her and taken long strolls in Stratford by the river.

He had not learnt her likes and dislikes and how to make her laugh until she cried.

That was her, all her. However, this realisation did not stop her from planning a little revenge.

James had enjoyed his evening with Bella and made sure to boast to Laurent about how easy and tight she'd been. He noticed his friends envy which made him feel somewhat superior and even more manly.

He had called her a couple of times hoping for another evening of pleasure and felt a little put out that she never picked up or responded to the two messages he'd left inviting her out. Her lack of response had made him question his prowess, but he recalled the way she had clawed at his shoulders and moaned into his neck. He concluded that she was a player and only had one-night stands; he admired this about her, as the last thing he wanted was a clingy woman hanging on his every word.

Monday morning had arrived and Renee was relieved when Bella sat at the breakfast table bright and early. She noticed the dark circles and her slightly gaunt cheeks, but also saw that her daughter was clean and eating so she knew the worst was over... for now.

Just before leaving the house, Bella checked the mirror but she wasn't overly impressed with what she saw - the week had taken its toll on her natural beauty. After applying a thin layer of foundation to even out her skin tone she reworked the look she had achieved when she went out with James. Satisfied, she called out that she was going and started her walk to school.

There was a cool breeze in the air that morning which caused her hair and school skirt to ruffle. Bella swung her school bag by her side and relaxed into her routine. Five minutes into her walk, she was relieved by the carefree feelings she had.

A couple of cars tooted their horns making her feel attractive. She also noticed the three schoolboys peering out at her from the rear window of the bus, making sexual gestures, she was amused a blew kisses to them as the spring in her step increased.

Thoughts of sex with James filtered through and she surmised that she was now a woman. The experience changed her, she was more aware of her body and how it affected the opposite gender.

The factory was in sight, as was Laurent. Bella continued her confidence souring as her little plan came closer to fruition. She slowed her walk as she approached and waited for Laurent to look up. She saw his double take as he recognised her.

"Bella?" She heard the confusion in his voice and knew her plan would unfold accordingly.

"Hey Laurent. Working hard I see. James around?" Laurent's eyes were bulging as he took in the school-uniform.

"No, he er... he's in with the Boss."

"No worries, just wanted to say hi. I might catch him later after _school_." She took great pleasure in adding emphasis to the word school and continued on her way knowing the shock James would be in when he was told he'd hooked up with a child.

Laurent's surprise quickly morphed into disgust as he remembered what James had done with her, she was still at school. Kids never left secondary school until they were sixteen. He hoped she was at least sixteen else James' extra curriculative activity would have been illegal and would gain him the title of paedophile.

Bella didn't need to see James again. Her revenge had been set in motion, from now on she would trek across the field to the main road to get home.

Within a couple of weeks, the dark circles had disappeared and Bella was the radiant girl she was before the night she lost her virginity. She no longer judged the girls behind the school gym who were being felt up by sweaty schoolboys, but it still wasn't something she wanted for herself, she still had dreams of being loved and cherished.

.

.

.

A/N This is the last we'll be seeing of our under-aged Bella.

Left me know your thoughts.

Ficturesque x


	3. Farewell

A/N Still not mine.

.

.

.

Year 11 of school passed in the same drama free way the rest of year 10 had. Bella revised hard and steered clear of boys _and_ men. She handed in English assignments on time and aced her mock exams.

Christmas was a huge deal in her family and they had celebrated in style spending way too much on presents and food. Bella made sure her elderly neighbour enjoyed his Christmas too and even though he'd been insistent on staying in his own home alone Bella had visited him. She had given him a gift on the morning, and delivered a plate of food for each meal of the day.

Valentine 's Day came and went with a handful of cards arriving on her doorstep. Even though it warmed her heart that she was admired it didn't change her mindset, there were no more giddy fantasies for Bella anymore, she stayed firmly set in reality.

June and July were hard work. Hours were spent every evening revising - weekdays and weekends, exam after exam. Friends still went out most nights and invited her to join them but she remained focussed, only allowing herself Friday night out _after_ she had revised.

Prom was okay. Bella wore a simple but stunning floor length gown. The strapless basque made the most of her curves, pulling in and pushing up as necessary. The silver-grey material perfect against her creamy complexion. As she walked, the silk of the skirt skimmed her waxed legs and tantalised her admirers. She opted to wear her hair partially up and had placed a gemmed hair comb her grandmother had given her in the back. Her bright eyes and pretty smile made her the most beautiful girl there that night. Despite the many offers of dates, Bella chose to enter the hotel hall alone to show her independence a fine display of confidence.

The envelope containing her GCSE results fell on the doormat in October and it was no surprise that she gained all 'A' and 'A*' grades. The world was at her feet, a wonderful journey about to begin.

Bella sailed through college in the same way and applied to the best Universities England had to offer. They all offered her a place, but she was only interested in Cambridge and was thrilled to be offered a place to study computer science as they only offered 2 or 3 places each year. After making several phone calls, Bella had lined up a few appointments to view shared student housing. It was with great excitement that she left early that morning. Her mother had prepared a list of faults to look for and questions to ask the Landlord and other students she'd be sharing with.

A little while later she stepped from the car without a glimpse at that list as it remained on the back seat of her little black mini, the one that she had purchased with the money left to her in the will of the elderly man who had lived next door.

The first two terraced houses where filthy, both with pipes leaking and paper pealing.

As she pulled up at the third property, she was greeted with a bright yellow door, a pot with blooming flowers placed either side of the doorstep. The door was opened by smirking bronzed haired guy who made a grand gesture with his arm to encourage her to enter.

All the rooms were clean enough. None of the pipes leaked and there wasn't a curling edge to any of the papered walls. Bella heard faint music from the first floor and let her guide lead up the stairs. She recognised the instrument to be a guitar and the tune was _'A Man Who Can't Be Moved'_. A rush of calm filled her body as she continued her ascent.

Her room was simple, cream painted walls, a bed, dresser and wardrobe – no en suite. The view was nothing special, just more houses opposite and a well-used road separating them. Turning to face her new housemate, she grinned and asked when she could move in.

.

.

Packing up her old life wasn't too hard. She said goodbye to her two close friends Leah and Jessica, promising long phone calls, texts and e-mails. Renee sobbed into her shoulder as they hugged goodbye and Charlie actually swept her off her feet in his exuberant embrace, regretting it slightly as he felt the twinge in his back.

Looking back in the rear view mirror Bella had no regrets. She was finally moving away from home and as much as she loved and cared for her family and friends she wasn't emotional, just excited and filled with overwhelming energy.

Just over two hours later, she arrived at her new home. It had been a tiring trek as Bella hated to drive in the rain. Fifteen minutes into her journey it had started to pelt down. Thunder boomed overhead, lightening zigzagged and lit up the cloud-darkened skies. With her windscreen wipers on fast and air blowers on full - Bella had drove with caution.

Running up to the door, the bright yellow was a welcome sight. She knocked loudly. It was clear after five minutes of knocking that no one was home. Soaked through to her skin she made her way back down to her car and called the landline until the answer machine kicked in, after explaining the situation she hung up.

Within no time at all, she had found herself a Starbucks, had used the toilet and purchased a simple coffee. Her clothes were still wet and her long locks of hair dripped tiny splashes of water on the table and floor. To the strangers around the coffee shop her happiness oozed from her, her smile infectious and radiance stunning. She truly was a ray of sunshine on an otherwise totally miserable day.

Her mobile beeped and the message indicated that there was now several people and a key waiting for her at the student house - at _home_.

.

.

.

A/N I wonder who the bronzed hair guy is?

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	4. Cheers

A/N Hands up if you wish you were living with Jasper and Edward.

.

.

.

Jasper had a good vibe from Bella the day she visited the house and was pleased the third room would go to a girl. He liked his place clean and had only just house trained Edward enough for it to stay that way – the last thing he wanted was for Seth to get any ideas and make a bid for the spare room, he was a messy sod. It was bad enough when he visited. His kicked his shoes and threw his socks off in any old direction. He'd hook his cap on the nearest door knob and hang his jacket on the nearest door. Washing up his glasses, cups and plates was too much like hard work and they would be put just about anywhere there was a clear surface - the fireplace, window ledge, coffee table. Crisp packets, individual sweet wrappers and take-out cartons would litter the floor.

An evening of Seth equalled half hour of cleaning and teeth gritting from Jasper. He wouldn't be without him though. He was a great mate, sincere, generous and just hilarious. Seth had such a presence that he would even liven up a mortuary.

Edward was pleased she'd accepted for a whole different reason...

It had been his intention to be back before she arrived but he was relying on Jasper for a lift and as Jasper had told him to _'go and screw himself'_ the last time he knocked on Alice's bedroom door, he accepted that Bella would arrive to an empty house.

Alice hadn't seen Jasper all week and was making up for lost time.

They had met in their first year in college and were in a committed relationship with each other. Jasper loved her with every fibre of his being and Alice felt the same for him. Edward had been taken by surprise at how fast his friend fell for him and had listened to her night after night declaring her feelings for him. In the end, Edward told his best friend to quit telling him and to actually tell Jasper.

They were usually inseparable which is what had made the last week so unbearable for them both and then consequently for Edward too as he had to put up with Jasper's sorry ass all week. So he allowed them their noisy reunion and if it had not been kicking up a storm outside he'd have left their moans and heavy panting behind him and walked home. Instead he listened to his iPod and thought about bumping into Bella in the kitchen in the mornings, finding her lacy underwear in the washing and hopefully finding her just wrapped in a towel as she left the bathroom. Good times were ahead.

Shortly after getting in Edward listened to Bella's voicemail and quickly texted her letting her know that he was back with Jasper and Alice in tow. He and Jasper had stocked up on booze and fully intended on giving Bella a good welcome. The three knocks on the door alerted them that Bella had arrived and Alice tore off to the front door before Edward had even taken his first step. He hoped Bella was ready for the force that was Alice.

After swinging open the door and pulling Bella into a bone-crushing hug, Alice grabbed her wet sleeve and dragged her into the living room.

"She's here guys!" Alice sang looked incredibly smug with herself whereas poor Bella looked like a rabbit caught in a car's headlights. Bella had been blown away by the hurricane that had greeted her and led her into the house. Alice's hug had been warm and she hadn't hesitated to give it even after seeing how drenched Bella was. During the embrace, Bella couldn't help but notice how good Alice smelt and made a mental note to ask her what perfume she wore.

Now standing in the living room of her new home Bella took a moment to just breathe. Edward stepped forward and greeted her with a firm two-handed handshake, whilst Jasper just gave her a gentle smile and nod.

"Sorry we wasn't here when you first arrived Bella, but I had some urgent _business_ I needed to see to."

Alice giggled and Edward just rolled his eyes. As Bella looked between the three of them she knew she was missing something but just shrugged her shoulders and made her excuses so that she could go and shower and change into fresh dry clothes.

Edward offered to carry two of her cases and was making his way up the stairs before Bella could even say _'thanks but no thanks'_. In truth, she was grateful of his help but wanted to prove her independence.

Edward showed her how to work the shower and took off downstairs before he inappropriately closed the bathroom door and helped her remove her damp clothing.

Alice was onto Edward straight away, she could tell by his nervous knee bounce in the car on the way over and the way he had licked his lips when Bella entered the room that he was a little taken with her. She couldn't blame him, even looking like a drown rat she was quite something and even though Alice had nearly knocked her off her feet when she hugged her in the hall, Bella's responding embrace confirmed they'd be firm friends.

"Good choice guys, I like her." Was the first thing Edward heard when he entered the room.

"I hope you're not going to screw this up Edward. If you two hook up it's going to get awkward if it doesn't work out." Was the second thing Edward heard and, "Plus if you hurt her, you'll have me to answer to." Was the third thing he heard. If he didn't know Alice as well as he did, he'd have told her to take and run a jump making statements like that, but he _did_ know Alice and he knew her friendship with him was unconditional. Just like it would be for Bella now, because when Alice noticed you enough to befriend you, she went all out.

Jasper wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him and as he whispered his love for her his lips ghosted the skin on her ear sending a delicious chill through her body. This was just one of the things he loved about her; she was honest and true right through to the bone.

The shower constantly ran hot and after luxuriating in it for an age, Bella dried and dressed into her tracksuit bottoms and tee. She sat on her bed and pulled one of the pairs of slipper socks Jessica had thoughtfully bought for her, knowing that Bella's feet were always like blocks of ice and wanting to bring her _some _comfort when Jess wasn't there in person to provide it.

Light banter between Jasper and Edward continued as she had entered the room and Alice handed a plastic cup filled with white wine to her. A quick toast was made to friends old and new before Bella took a huge gulp... then another and another. Before long Alice and Bella had finished the bottle between them and they were now singing along to Jasper's strumming.

'_My black eye casts no shadow,_

_Your red eye sees no pain,_

_Your slaps don't stick,_

_Your kicks don't hit,_

_So we remain the same,_

_Blood sticks and sweat drips -_

_break the lock if it don't fit'_

Edward sat back in his chair, lager in his hand as he watched the inebriated duo work the song and what he saw made his heart light and his eyelids heavy. It was going to be difficult for him to stay away from Bella, but he would... well would at least _try_.

.

.

.

A/N Lyrics belong to Florence and the Machine.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	5. Knowing You

A/N All things Twilight are Stephanie's.

.

.

.

Within a couple of days, Bella felt as though she'd known Alice, Jasper and Edward her whole life. The four of them took in the sights as they showed Bella the local area.

The highlight of Bella's first day had been the chauffeured punt tour, they were fortunate enough to be the only ones on this particular boat and Edward strongly suspected that was due to Alice and Jasper's PDA at the boat station. The small group of elderly couples insisted they wait for the next tour.

As they were punted along the Backs River, Bella marveled at the clear sky and the sheer quantity of stars polka-dotted above them. Their guide Garrett, pointed out The King's College Chapel telling them that it took over a century to build finally being completed in 1547. He went on to inform them that it was most famous across the world for the 'Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols', the carol service held every Christmas Eve. Edward had never heard of the 'Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols' as he always had better things to do than watch BBC live broadcasts on Christmas Eve. He figured it was probably world famous due to the its magnitude and architecture, that and it's stain glass windows that had been removed during World War II to protect them from bombing damage and that the Guide was full of it.

Edward was feeling put out by the fact that Bella was hanging off the Guides every word. She was leaning forward, the delight and love for all around her obvious in her eyes. He watched her lips part in awe as she looked upon the gothic architecture.

Garrett continued, "The first stone of the Chapel was laid, by King Henry VI himself, on St James' Day, July 25, 1446," he never took his eyes off her and Edward felt like shoving him in the river to cool him off a bit.

Bella's breath hitched as they passed Wren Library named after Sir Christopher Wren, the designer - Garrett reliably informed them. He continued by saying it had been completed in 1695 and within it were the Capell collection of early Shakespeare editions and many books from Sir Isaac Newton's own library. Edward tried to tune him out but still heard him drone on about Milne's manuscripts of Winnie-the-Pooh and the house at Pooh Corner. He tried instead to enjoy the view - not the stone buildings set back on the grassy verges but on his enticing new housemate.

The 45-minute tour came to an end and Edward ensured that it was _he_ that assisted Bella from the boat and not Garrett the flamin' Guide. Bella turned to Garrett and sincerely thanked him for the tour and told him that it had been a most beautiful evening that she would remember for a lifetime. Edward rolled his eyes as Garrett reached for her hand and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Garrett took Bella's words to mean that _he_ would be remembered for a lifetime and he liked the idea of the pretty girl reminiscing in years to come.

Bella's blush painted her cheeks as she slowly pulled her hand from Garrett's grasp. It was a much too personal gesture and had embarrassed her, but she gave him a small smile and turned to leave with her friends. Edward glanced back over his shoulder at Garrett giving him a pointed look that Garrett read as, '_Mine. Hands off'_.

Before heading home, they stopped by McDonalds and as Bella wasn't particularly hungry she opted for a Happy Meal. She grinned as she opened her mini light saber toy that she promptly stabbed Edward's arm with. A playful slapping fight ensued and it wasn't long before it turned into a tickle fight. Bella found Edward's tickle spots either side of his rib cage and she was merciless, laughing at Edward's feminine squeals.

For once Alice was speechless, she and Jasper shared a knowing look before clearing away the empty cartons and cups. As they emptied the trays into the bin and were out of earshot, Alice broke her silence,

"Jazz I meant what I said yesterday, Edward needs to keep his hands to himself, for now at least." Being the her usual intuitive self she continued, "Bella needs more than what Edward can give her right now."

"I know Baby," Jasper soothed, "I think he heard you loud and clear." His lazy smile and the gentle brush of his fingers against her cheek immediately relaxed her. "Besides can't you see the fear in his eyes when he watches her, he knows he can't mess this up, he wants it too much already."

Alice's little giggle and wink sent a pulse of desire through Jasper and he needed alone time with her, now. Keen to get moving Jasper interrupted the Edward Bella foreplay and told them he and Alice were heading back.

Jasper spent the night at Alice's much to Edward's relief; he didn't fancy listening to an action replay of their previous coupling. Edward and Bella continued getting to know each other well into the early hours before finally calling it a night at nearly four in the morning.

After quickly using the bathroom and slipping into her 'Hello Kitty' pajamas Bella padded across the landing to her room glancing up towards Edward's room. Edward had purposely left his door ajar in the hopes he would get a last glimpse of Bella before she went to sleep. He heard the bathroom pull cord click and looked up straight into Bella's gaze. After what felt like five minutes but was actually only two seconds, Bella licked her lips and mouthed _'Goodnight'_.

Edward stood frozen for a couple of minutes after she had closed her bedroom door and knew he would need a cold shower before heading to bed because there was no way he would be able to sleep with his current situation.

Taking his towel and pajama bottoms into the bathroom Edward opted to take care of his 'problem' without the aid of cold water, gripping the sink for support it was only a few minutes before he was catching his mess in a flannel and quickly washing himself and slipping into his pj's.

On his way to bed, he took a moment to pause by Bella's door and as he couldn't hear any movement guessed she was already asleep. Shaking his head, he made his way to his own bed.

Bella had drifted off to sleep quickly and as her new memory foam mattress hugged her and the satin sheets caressed her, she dreamed of a Knight on a pintaloosa horse. As she took a closer look at the horse-mounted man, she was blown away by the intenseness of the dark green eyes looking back.

.

.

.

A/N The Punt Tours actually close at 6pm between April and October, but I wanted Bella to see as much beauty as possible in her first few days – so I took a little poetic license.

Pintaloosa horse is a "breed" of spotted horse – I Googled it.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	6. Confused

A/N Am I jealous of Stephenie, AbsolFreakinLutely. Do you know how much time this woman got to spend with Mr Pattinson? Lucky lady.

.

.

.

The week of fun and laughter had been perfect for Bella, she'd shared more of herself in those seven days than she had in a lifetime. _They_ were her new family. Thoughts of family brought an unfamiliar emotion of guilt to the surface as she realised she hadn't missed home at all, but she soon squashed that down.

She had texted Jess and Leah a handful of times; telling them where she had been and that she had discovered a love for alcohol. She'd managed a quick phone call to her parents, but felt like she was being grilled too much about her newly discovered love of the aforementioned alcohol.

Renee had felt it only right that she kept her one and only child on the straight and narrow and gave a full and factual lecture about alcohol poisoning, giving her tips on how to be safe by not mixing them and by having a glass of water in between to keep her hydrated.

Charlie said he wished she lived in America so that she would remain booze free until she was 21.

Bella knew they meant well and that they loved her but she found it a little suffocating so chose to keep those calls to a minimum.

It was a gorgeous day and Bella dressed accordingly, little cut off jean shorts and a dark grey t-shirt that had been secured at the side just above her hip with a hair band. She wanted to grab some books from the library that she would need for her new classes and mentioned to Edward over breakfast that she'd probably be gone for most of the day. Edward quickly offered to go with her to carry her books back as he'd become used to being with Bella and was reluctant to miss a whole day with her.

Bella thanked him profusely but said she didn't need his muscles as she was taking her car and would probably read for a bit whilst she was there. This wasn't what Edward heard though, to him she had given him the brush off and was finding an excuse to be away from him and he found himself feeling angry and rejected. With these confusing emotions warring inside he couldn't sit still and abruptly stood glaring at the top of Bella's head. He wanted to slam his fist on the table, but as mad as he was I didn't want to scare Bella, he just wanted to go back to five minutes before and for her to tell him she'd love for him to spend the day with her at the library.

Bella was oblivious to Edward's sudden mood change and continued to read the newspaper.

Recognising his change, Edward took the stairs two at a time as he raced towards his bedroom, his sanctuary - a room Bella had never been in and in that moment he was grateful for this small mercy as it seemed as though Bella had touched every other part of his life. He didn't know how, but she had managed to purge him of nearly all his secrets and he'd told her things he'd never breathed a word of before, to anyone - not even Jasper. He decided enough was enough and he didn't want to play this game anymore, Uni would start and he would be too busy to spend idol hours with her.

Bella slipped into her flip-flops and shouted her goodbye to Edward. He watched her from his bedroom window as she sat in her car and sped off up the road, away from him and away from his company.

Edward called the only person he could who would calm him down and spent to next ten minutes reiterating the conversation he and Bella had had. Alice was familiar with the paranoid side of Edward and knew that no matter how many times she reassured him that Bella hadn't snubbed him maliciously, he wouldn't see it until this episode passed. Instead, she did what she always did when he was like this, which was thankfully becoming less frequent, and that was to tell him to stay put and that she was coming over.

With the help of directions Bella found her way to the library, it took a lot longer than it should as she was so taken by her surroundings. The Wren Library had been spectacular in the dark when she had seen the spotlights illuminating the stain glass windows and aged walls but in daylight and close up she could see the true beauty of its design.

Bella stopped by the enquiry desk at the entrance of Wren and asked what time they closed, she blushed at her own naivety when the clerk asked if she had an appointment. Bella explained that she was new to the University. The clerk told Bella the lengthy process she would need to go through to gain access.

First, she would need to apply in writing by letter or email to the Library in advance, indicating the materials they would like to consult. Then she would need to supply a written letter of recommendation from an academic colleague, tutor, or another appropriate person supporting her need to consult original material. The written recommendation should be signed and include the name and professional status of the referee, if she was then given a appointment time she would need to supply a form of ID with photograph on arrival at the Library.

Bella thanked the clerk and said she would be in touch. In truth, she would never approach the enquiry desk again, she was merely curious to see the historical materials; she hadn't needed them as part of her studies.

Instead, she made her way toward the impressive tower on West Road, she was overwhelmed by the fact there were four subject-focused libraries all in separate locations. These were the Medical Library, the Squire Law Library, the Central Science Library, and the Betty and Gordon Moore Library. Bella opted for the Betty and Gordon Moore Library as it covers the subject areas of mathematics, physics, engineering and computer science.

Bella wished she'd taken Edward up on his offer to carry her books because she would have really appreciated his support and easy demeanor as she trailed from one place to the next.

Yet again Bella was denied access as she had yet to collect her student ID card and needed this as a pass to enter. Exhausted, Bella decided to call it a day and headed home, she would sort it another day when she hadn't walked a thousand miles in the blistering heat.

Edward recognised the sound of Bella's mini pulling up and leaped up to look out of the window and he had his suspicions confirmed when she arrived home without a single book... she had given him a feeble excuse and hadn't even the decency to make it believable by at least bringing a few books home to look the part.

Alice was in the kitchen preparing a quick sandwich for Edward before heading back home. She'd had a difficult time today listening to him as his accused Bella of being shallow and cold, but she knew he would be back to his normal self soon and realised Bella was neither of those.

The longest she'd known an episode to last was six days, six very long days, but the last one before this was over in just two. She hoped for the latter.

Bella kicked her flip-flops off Seth style and flopped into the settee. Alice chuckled to herself as she imagined Jazz popping home at that exact moment and seeing her footwear kicked haphazardly in the hall. She smiled affectionately at Bella and sympathised with her as she complained about her wasted day. Alice promised to join her before Uni started and made her way to Edward, sandwich in hand.

Alice found Edward pacing his room; cussing under his breath – she knew Bella would be terrified if Edward was like this in front of her - she would misinterpret his episode and probably take it personally thinking he would lash out physically. In all the years Alice had known Edward, he had never been violent during an episode, so she knew Bella would be unnecessarily scared.

Alice put the plate down on his bedside cabinet and told him she and Bella were going to have a girl's night and to phone if he needed anything. Edward barely acknowledged her but she knew he'd heard as his step had faltered. Now she just needed to convince Bella to stay over at hers, she needn't have worried though because Bella squealed with enthusiasm at the thought of a little down time.

"Girls night here I come...!" Alice hated keeping her friend in the dark, but did the best that she could given the circumstances.

.

.

.

A/N Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	7. Girl Time

A/N Still belonging to SM...

.

.

.

With renewed energy, Bella scampered up to her room and within minutes she'd packed the essentials. A quick visit to the loo and she took off back down the stairs to her pampering guru.

.

.

Whilst Bella searched through the thirty or so nail varnishes trying to fathom why Alice even had this many bottles, Alice chopped fresh fruit for the Pimms she and Bella would be supping during their evening.

"Hey Alice, I'm in the mood for Chinese take-out, shall I put the order in now and get a taxi to pick it up?" Alice thought it was a little extravagant paying for a taxi to pick it up, but shrugged and went with the flow, after all it _was_ a pampering night.

Bella had never experienced Pimms before and was fascinated by the copious amounts of fruit sitting at the bottom of her glass - with the twist of lemon, paper umbrella and twisting straw it was quite the work of art.

Both girls were sitting opposite each other on the floor giving mutual foot massages. Alice was telling Bella how she had met Edward and wasn't at all surprised by Bella's undivided attention when she talked about one of her closest friends.

Bella loved hearing about some of the 'adventures' he and Alice had had. She laughed heartedly when she found out that Edward had a _'doe-doe'_ until he was five and had a constant supply hidden all over the house, so that each time Esme, his mother, threw one away another would magically appear in his mouth when he went to bed.

The doorbell rang signaling their food's arrival. Bella jumped to her feet and promptly slipped and skidded on the waxed wooden floor until her butt was firmly back on the ground thanks to the oils Alice had used on her feet. With tears of laughter streaming down her drink-reddened cheeks, Bella crawled on her hands and knees towards the impatient driver who was now pounding on the door.

The taxi driver had heard the activities inside and was worried it was another hoax call and that he wouldn't be getting paid for his trouble – he did conclude however, that at least he'd have supper this time and even considered just walking off and tucking in, as his mouth watered at the delicious aroma penetrating the brown paper bag.

When Bella finally managed to get to her feet the front door appeared to open by itself, Jasper had let himself in and was standing in front of her looking mildly amused. His eyes rested on Bella for a split second before his beautiful girlfriend greeted him.

"Jazz baby, there's only one thing I love more than seeing you and that's seeing you with food in your hands for me." Alice nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen in an attempt to get Jasper alone.

Bella saw the subtle gesture and hung back so they could have a few minutes to themselves. What Bella didn't realise is that Alice needed Jasper alone so that she could explain what condition she'd left Edward in.

"Alice we need to tell Bella so she's prepared," Jasper reasoned.

"No, we can't do that, _I_ can't do that. We'll wait until it's passed and ask Edward. This is his business Jazz, I can't go behind his back on this and if he doesn't want to tell her then that's his prerogative."

Jasper didn't want to go against his girlfriend, but if Edward refused to tell Bella then he would have to. They couldn't hide this forever, she would find out sooner or later through a personal encounter and it _would_ be better for her _and _ Edward if she was prepared. For now though, he kissed Alice's cheek and said he would go home, just in case he was needed. Jasper slapped her bum as he made his way out and cheerfully wished them both an exuberant evening whilst tipping his imagery hat.

The girls wolfed down the food and painted each other's toenails – Bella opted for _Nightshade_ whilst Alice went with the _Flowery Peach_. Their night continued with more booze and more embarrassing stories until inevitably they reached the subject of sex. Alice went into way too much information describing Jasper's love for a little domination, that he was all for being tied to the bed or chair. Bella sat with her jaw wide open – never would she have thought that of him and told Alice so.

"Well there's lots to Jazz that you don't know about yet, obviously there are _some_ things that you'll _never_ find out." Alice gave Bella an exaggerated wink and became quite coy with her pursed lips and lifted eyebrow.

Bella knew that she loved Alice and was so grateful that she'd met such a wonderful friend, she felt she could tell her anything... so she did.

Bella had never spoken of the night with James, but found herself spilling all, explaining how she'd led him to believe she was older by the clothes she wore and even though she didn't actually want to have sex with him, she'd never said no as she had felt obliged as she'd led him on by dressing older.

She told Alice of the painful experience and the week of hibernation afterwards, telling her that she'd never trusted a man enough since to get close to him physically. Seeming that she was being so open she also added that she wanted to be in a loving relationship next time she was intimate but that she couldn't see that happening anytime soon.

When Bella had told her story she glanced up at Alice, Alice's face was etched with pain, her tears were brimming and on the verge of tipping over her lower lids.

"Bella..." she sobbed. Bella just shrugged and turned to her drink wanting to leave the subject alone now that she was feeling vulnerable.

"Don't Alice; it was a few years ago now."

"It obviously still hurts-"

"It's fine, really. I've just never told anyone before and it made me recall the hurt I went through then. There's no pain there now Alice... just regret."

Alice knew Bella needed to leave it alone now, so chose to honour her friends' wishes and just gave her a quick hug instead. In an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, Alice changed the subject completely.

"DVD time! Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom?" Alice waved '_Pirates of the Carribean'_ one and two in front of Bella.

"I vote for the first and I'm a Depp girl – did you ever see _Benny and Joon_. Oh and what about _Don Juan Demarco_?" Alice shook her head,

"Don't even waste your breath, Orlando is a dream Bella. He wins hands down."

The evening progressed with the two friends playfully comparing the pros and cons of the two actors, whilst polishing of glass after glass of Pimms.

.

.

.

A/N 'Doe doe'- Edward couldn't say dummy and nick named his pacifier _'doe-doe'_.

Who's with Jasper and who's with Alice? Does Bella automatically have the right to know Edward's medical history because she shares a house with him?

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	8. Too Late

A/N Mrs Meyer I know this is yours, thanks for still allowing fanfic even though you know how we use and abuse your lovely characters.

.

.

.

Alice, being the more experienced drinker, rose from bed a good couple of hours before Bella. She had already phoned Jasper to find out how Edward had been.

"He was screwing at me Love. Shouting for me to leave him alone, he accused me of backstabbing him Alice." Alice could hear the anguish in his voice,

"Oh Baby I'm sorry, are you alright?" Even though Jasper knew this wasn't Edward, it was hard to ignore his friend's words, but talking with his girlfriend helped him stay in touch with reality. "Yeah, yeah. He's been up nearly an hour now, but hasn't come down yet. What are you going to do with Bella?"

"Don't you worry about us – I'll take Bella shopping or something. Just please make sure Edward takes his meds and try to get him to eat something. I love you Jazz," she sighed.

"Love you too – give us as long as you can. See you later." The couple reluctantly ended the call.

Jasper knew he was in for another difficult day, but was happier knowing the girls were out of the way. Even knowing Edward had never physically hurt anyone when he was like this, it didn't bring Jasper much comfort when he knew Alice was with him. Having lived with Edward for a while now he knew that Edward would be filled with regret for the things he'd said to him – that was the thing about his psychotic disorder, he couldn't control it once it was in play, but he would remember it all afterwards.

The thundering sound of footsteps descending the stairs put Jasper on full alert.

"What are you still doing here!" Edward screamed, "I... I told you to go. You're a traitor, nothing but a backstabbing traitor!" Jasper knew Edward wouldn't believe anything he said so he went along with it trying to pacify him,

"I'm sorry man, I'll make it right." Edward's eyes blazed with anger, his face was crimson and every vein in his neck and forehead were raised from his skin, pulsating as the blood and adrenaline rushed around his body.

"There's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do!" He spat. "I've been your friend Jasper; I've helped you, listened to you pouring your damn heart out to me and now this. You go behind my back and sleep with her. You knew I liked her. Damn it, you knew." Edward raged.

Up until now Jasper had only known that Edward had thought he'd backstabbed him and was still unaware of the full extent of what Edward had thought he'd done.

Jasper had researched as much as he could about Edward's disorder and sometimes wished that Edward's paranoia was connected to something that was obviously unreal. The personal accusations seemed far worse to him than Edward imagining the Government was spying on him or something. Hell, he was being selfish and he really wished that Edward didn't have to suffer this at all.

.

.

Unfortunately back at Alice's house, Bella wasn't fairing too well and shopping was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Even though my nails look fab Alice and I had the best night, my head is killing me and I want to bury it under my own quilt cover and never come out." The little pout Alice had produced wasn't working either, so Alice tried another tactic.

"But I can't give you a lift home Bella 'cause I'm probably still way over the legal limit to drive."

"Don't worry hun, I'm going to call a cab. Now pleeeease stop talking so loud and help me find my mobile." Alice did actually consider hiding Bella's phone, but this wouldn't buy her that much time so she relented.

They checked behind cushions and on the window ledges, under the settee and under the empty food containers. Bella checked by the front door whilst Alice checked the kitchen. Her phone was nowhere in sight.

"I'll call it Bella; let's hope your battery's not dead." Alice grabbed the house phone and pressed in the digits Bella gave her, within a couple of seconds they could faintly hear the Nokia standardised ringtone. Bella followed the sound into the kitchen and then burst out laughing, promptly regretting the quick movement and volume as she grabbed her head with her hands.

She then reappeared in the living room with her phone in one hand and her head in the other.

"I checked the kitchen, where was it?" Alice asked incredulously.

"Hmmm, I'm guessing you didn't check the fridge? How drunk was I last night Alice to have put my freakin' phone in the fridge?" Alice's smile stretched across her face,

"Well you were drunk enough to tell me you fancied Edward." Bella was mortified and swore she'd never drink again, she couldn't believe she'd told his best frickin' friend about her crush,

"No way, I...I can't believe I... Oh my life this is so embarrassing." She couldn't even look at Alice right then.

"So you do?"

"What do you mean, 'so you do'? You just said tha-" Alice excited face gave her lie away. "Alice!"

"Sorry Bella," she giggled, "You didn't actually tell me as such, but you _were_ very, _very_ interested about everything I said about him." Bella just puffed her cheeks out and let the air slowly pass through her lips.

"Alice..." she groaned.

"Don't worry Bella; your secret is safe with me."

Bella made quick work of dialing for a cab. The operator telling her they'd be one there for her in thirty-five minutes.

.

.

As soon as the cab pulled away, Alice phoned Jasper.

"Jazz, she's on her way, I couldn't stop her." She was met with muffled voices on the other side. "Jazz? Jazz?" she called.

"Hold on a sec Baby." She could tell that Jasper had covered the mouthpiece again, but she could now make out what was being shouted.

"I swear Jasper, you go near her again and I won't be responsible for my actions. DO YOU HEAR ME!" Edward roared.

Edward had his hands in a prayer like manner in front of his mouth, but he was doing anything but praying. Jasper had yet to learn of who Edward was talking about but continued to placate him anyway.

"Is that _her_ on the phone Jasper? Tell her she's a slut and I don't want to see her again. DO YOU HEAR THAT BELLA! YOUR NOTHING BUT A SLUT!"

Time froze for Alice as she realised the situation Bella would walk into. Suddenly she regretted not telling her friend about Edward's condition. She was mad at Edward for not considering this before Bella came to live with them, _he_ should have been the one to prepared Bella whilst he was 'normal'. Maybe then she wouldn't have agreed to live there and Alice would never have met her and she couldn't regret _that_, but right now she feared for her friend.

"Jazz... Bella's on her way over, you have to done something!"

.

.

A/N Please let me know what you think.*runs and hides taking a week's supply of coke zero*

Ficturesque x


	9. Hitting The Fan

A/N SM, please don't sue me...

.

.

.

Bella decided on a latté before heading home and asked the driver to pull over at Starbucks. She managed persuade him to wait for her with the promise of a drink of his choice – at her expense. He opted for coffee without milk and told her would have to keep the meter running.

As she hopped out of the passenger seat she hoped there wasn't a queue inside and made a mental note to be a bit more frugal in the future.

She was back in the taxi in no time and was thankful when they turned into her road.

"Just there, thanks. The one with the yellow door."

"£18.50 please." She reached for her purse and pulled out a twenty, thanking the driver and telling him to keep the change. "Have a good day," he bid as he watched her toned backside walk away.

Approaching the door Bella noticed the flowers in the pots were starting to wilt.

When she had first seen them the day she'd first viewed the house, she had thought that it was a girls touch that kept them looking so good and had asked Alice if she watered every time she came round to see Jasper. She had laughed at her and told her that it was Edward who had green fingers and that she couldn't keep dried flowers looking good let alone living ones.

She had noticed then that Edward actually did go out first and last thing with a two-litre bottle of water every day, so she was surprised to see them looking so deprived. Despite her desire to head straight to bed, she couldn't see the flowers die so she headed for the kitchen. The sudden movement in the living room startled her and as the house had been deathly silent, she thought the guys had gone out and that she would be alone.

She let out a little squeal and then laughed at her silliness when she saw Edward. "Oh my life, you scared the living daylights out of me, I thought you'd gone out. Is Jasper with you?" Bella mind as well have held up a red flag to a bull when she mentioned Jasper.

"Jasper," he said sarcastically, "You're only interested in Jasper. How do you justify that to Alice Bella?"

"Justify what to Alice?" Bella asked feeling quite confused. Edward threw he head back and laughed, but it wasn't the type of laugh that made you want to join in, it was the kind of laugh that warned you there was something seriously wrong. Bella's confusion morphed into wariness. "Edward?" She slowly stepped forward and gently reached out to rub his arm.

"DON'T you touch me!" He snapped. It was at this time that Jasper came in. Jasper had been in the garden calling Edward's mother, hoping that she would come and get him and keep him with her until he'd worked through it so that Bella wouldn't be exposed.

He had not heard Alice when she had told him Bella was on her way over as he had been focussed on Edward and now as he saw her he was filled with dread.

"Bella?"

"Jasper, what's going on? What's Edward talking about? Why the hell is he so angry at me?" Her eyes flitted from Jaspers concerned face to Edwards' crazed face.

"DON'T go near her Jasper, this is between us two. Why are you even still here? GET OUT YOU SON OF A-" Bella flinched at his raw anger and broke out into a sob.

"Edward? What...what have I done?" She pleaded. The pain in her head from the hangover over was now second to the pain in her chest. "Please Edward; tell me what I've done."

"Bella-"Jasper started, "Just leave, I'll sort this out." He was begging her now – but it was breaking him, knowing how hurt Bella was now and how Edward would hate himself for what he was doing to her. Edward would no doubt be mad at Jasper too for allowing Bella to stay in the house with him like this. Jasper took a chance and walked towards Bella. "Go on Bella, I'll call you when things have simmered down."

Next thing he knew he was being pinned to the wall by Edward, he wasn't really hurting him but Jasper was shocked by act nonetheless. Edward was right in his face spitting phlegm with the veracity of his words. "You don't get to touch her Jasper, not anymore." Bella's sobbing had turned to virtual hysteria and she was now pulling at Edward leaning back with virtually all her body weight.

Edward's breathing that had been fast and shallow was beginning to slow and deepen. Jasper recognised the signs and hoped that Edward was starting to come down, but he remained silent and unmoving willing him with everything he had to back away. Bella also noticed the change in his demeanour and even though she had let go of him, she continued to gasp his name.

Edward's hands fell to his sides and filled with exhaustion his stepped away from his friend. Overwhelming remorse flooded his body. His limbs felt like rubber and he was left sapped of all his energy.

"Jasp-"

"Don't worry dude, I got ya." Jasper stepped forward and put his arms around him, Edward's body slumped forward into his embrace. Jasper jostled but found his footing and stood firm. Bella's sobbing had subsided to just the odd hiccup breaking out.

"Bella, please go... Edward won't want you to see this. Please." Reluctantly Bella skulked out of the room and pulled herself up the stairs. She was bewildered by what she had just seen and every muscle in her body ached from tension. The last thing she wanted to do now was to go to bed, she couldn't sit still let alone lie down.

Bella may not have understood what had happened downstairs, but she knew enough from how quickly things changed and Jasper's reactions to everything Edward had said and did, to know this hadn't been just a regular row. The defeated look in Edward's eyes and the way that Jasper had comforted him without hesitation or judgement meant that there must be more to it. Bella's mind was going over and over everything that happened since she had stepped foot through the door.

The alarm on Jasper's face when he came in from the garden and how he'd immediately told her to leave and let him sort it out. There was something missing that was keeping her from the answer and as frustrating as it was, she had a feeling she wouldn't be getting any answers soon. Grabbing a towel she headed for the shower, hoping the heat would unknot her back and clear her head.

Later that night Bella crept out of her bedroom and after listening hard tiptoed to the ground floor. She was starving and wouldn't sleep if she didn't eat. All the lights downstairs were off, but there was enough light from the night sky to enable her to see. Edward was lying across the settee, one leg propped on the arm and the other bent at the knee with his foot resting on the floor. His handsome face now calm and relaxed - not a frown line in sight as he slept.

Bella felt her heart crack and tears spring to her eyes. "What's wrong with you Edward?" she whispered into the air, "What's wrong with you?"

.

.

.

A/N I'm down to six days worth of coke zero, is it safe to come out?

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	10. Reality

A/N Thanks to for her delicious Edward, I mean characters – all of them, not just Edward...

.

.

.

When Edward had finally fallen to sleep, Jasper phoned Esme informing her that it was over. They were both surprised by how quickly this one had passed. Esme thanked him for being there for her son and for being a true friend, for which he told her off,

"He's my mate Esme, you don't need to thank me." This only made Esme thank him once again. "Although I am thankful it wasn't a week long one this time, they do seem to be lasting shorter periods of time," he added. "I'm just sorry I had to call you so soon, we have been trying to keep Bella out of it until we'd persuaded Edward to tell her."

Edward's mother told Jasper that she had been looking into other ways to help her son and mentioned animal-assisted therapy, telling him that research showed that it could help towards improving his general well-being.

She asked Jasper if there had been anything that might have triggered this one, but the only thing he thought may have played a part would be the continuous late nights they'd been having since Bella's arrival. Esme agreed that could have been a possible aggravation and said she'd talk to Edward when he felt up to it.

Needing to speak with Alice, Jasper politely cut the conversation short and no sooner was the line free his fingers desperately fumbled at the keypad, his knee bouncing as he waited for her to pick up.

Whilst talking to Alice, Jasper took himself to bed foregoing his nighttimes' routine he opted to get straight under the quilt cover. They continued to talk quietly until Jasper fell asleep. Alice remained on the phone for a short time just listening to his deep breathing and appreciating what a fine man he was, before replacing the receiver and heading for her kitchen to bake her nervous energy away. Alice couldn't wait for her friend Rose to join her, she could have used another presence in the house tonight and quickly counted off the days until Rose would arrive.

Bella was now sitting in the armchair opposite the settee, slowly picking at the cold quiche and studying the sleeping man. His hair was a complete disarray and his mouth was slightly crushed into the cushion his head was lying on. The t-shirt he was wearing had pulled up slightly and a tiny sliver of skin was exposed. Bella's eyes lingered on that small piece of flesh and she absentmindedly licked her lips and bit into her bottom one.

She wanted to know everything about him, all his strengths and all of his weaknesses. All of his dreams and hopes as well as his fears. Never had she wanted to know someone as much. She acknowledged the emotions she felt when he was beyond her reach earlier and the overriding one was that of failure - she didn't want to ever disappoint him and his words told her she had, but so had Jasper apparently. She tried to work through the evenings events. Edward had accepted comfort from Jasper after he'd accused him and berated him, she hoped he would accept comfort from her too and that they would be able to work out this misunderstanding.

.

.

The sound of activity from the kitchen dragged Bella from her sleep and the more aware she become the more evident her aches and pains were.

Stretching her stiff body caused an involuntary groan to leave her lips and the noise from the kitchen came to a halt. Noticing the settee was now empty; Bella presumed it was Edward in the kitchen. It remained quiet as Bella made her way towards the heart of the house. As she approached the door, she saw Edward's rigid back; his elbows locked straight as he leaned forward onto his hands and hung his head - his chin touching the centre of his collarbones.

Edward was racked with remorse and even though he had no control over it, it didn't stop him from blaming and hating himself for his actions. He could tell when the episode was coming on and had hoped this would give him enough time to make himself scarce whenever he was around Bella. He hadn't thought it through enough and hadn't accounted for her walking right into the middle of one - worse still was his paranoia having her as its focus this time.

He had wanted to keep his disorder to himself, initially because it was none of her business but as he got to know her over the week he needed to keep it from her so that it didn't put her off and make her run for the hills as he'd become quite taken with her.

Their group trips, late nights and one-on-one time bringing a lightness to his life that he wanted to keep.

By eating mostly healthy food regularly and keeping his life steady and stress free and taking his medication as prescribed - he'd hoped it would be enough to keep his illness at bay, therefore giving Bella a chance to know him for the guy his was 95% of the time, not the psychotic freak he was the other five.

Edward was afraid of what she would think of him, he recalled the look on her face as she had begged him to help her understand what she'd done. She had done nothing wrong, she was beautiful, innocent and carefree and he... _he_ was a monster.

He was afraid of her loathing him, but he was more afraid of her forgiveness, because if she forgave him it would give the monster another chance at hurting her again when it decided to break free once more.

A choice needed to be made. Did he let her in - or keep her out?

.

.

.

A/N Please note that I mean no disrespect by the phrase 'psychotic freak', this is Edward's opinion of himself as he works through his self-loathing and it is most definitely not my opinion.

Mental illness is a subject very close to my heart for several reasons, which I won't go into here. I'm not an expert but I do know that everyone's experiences are different, from the 'patient' to the 'caregiver' be them family or friend. What works for one, will not work for another.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	11. No Fixed Abode

A/N 'Tis Steph's, this I have told you before...

.

.

.

Not sure if Edward was talking to her, Bella decided she'd have to be the first to speak.

"Edward?" He didn't respond. She stared helplessly at his statuesque stance, completely dumbfounded. She wanted him to explain to her what she had done - she frantically searched her mind. What had she done that would make him recoil when she touched him, how was Jasper connected?

As the silence continued to fill the air, she started to doubt herself. Should she just leave? Alice had a spare bedroom, would Rose mind another house-mate? The fascination and the pull she felt towards him was obviously one-sided and she didn't want to come across as desperate or needy. She still wanted to be that independent strong woman she was when she left her parents house. Biting her trembling lip, she turned and went back the way she came.

Not wanting to make Jasper feel obliged towards her she didn't announce her plans to leave. It wasn't long before she had packed most of her belongings and made her first trip to her car.

Her phone was vibrating on the dresser when she made it back to her room...her soon to be _old_ room, 'Ma Mere' flashing on the small screen. Seeing those words usually made her smile, as she would remember Renee had felt rather grand after noticing, thinking her daughter was quite sweet listing her in French. What she didn't know, which was also the bit that made Bella smile, was that she had really wanted to list her mother under 'Old Mare', but knew her parents would be very put out if they ever discovered it. It failed to make her smile today and she ignored the call.

Several trips later Bella wiped the slight sheen of sweat from her forehead and poured herself a glass of water from the tap. The sorrow within her was heavy and practically strangled her, but she believed this was the right thing to do even if Alice refused to let her and rent the spare room.

With shaky hands, she penned a note for Jasper,

_Dearest Jasper,_

_I have had a wonderful week here – thank you so much for your hospitality. It's for the best that I move out I don't want to upset Edward any further. I'm paid up for the whole month and I hope you find another tenant quickly. See you around._

_Love Bella x_

She slipped the note and her key under his bedroom door and made her way out.

It wasn't long before she found herself in what was becoming her regular spot, where she ordered herself a Caramel Macchiato which she only ever ordered when she needed comfort in a cup. She lost herself in people watching and ended up drinking a further two Caramel Macchiato drinks as well as indulging in two Blueberry Swirl Cheesecake slices. She made a mental note to check out the University's gymnasium before school started or at least to find comfort in a less fattening way.

When Edward had woke earlier that day the familiar splitting headache he got after an episode reminded him of the damage he'd done. He ran his hands over his face desperate for them to erase his memories of Bella's tortured face as he slated her. The disbelief and pain even more clear now that he'd slept - it was embedded into his mind.

He wanted to find her immediately and convince her he would be worth it, that the good times together would be exceptionally good and would more than make up for the bad times. This sounded lame even to him. Who in their right minds would willingly be subjected to his _monster_ on a regular basis? Bella should be treasured - always, not just _most_ of the time.

It was with total disbelief when his eyes rested on the beautiful creature in the chair opposite, so peaceful in her slumber and such a complete contrast to the last time he'd saw her.

His movements were slow and cautious as he raised himself to a seated position in order not to disturb her. He took in all her features, before resting his eyes on her lips, lips that he wanted to caress with his own. He knew he would never be granted the pleasure of touching her, of holding her, of _tasting_ her.

His body moved of its own volition and he found himself crouched before her, close, but not close enough. Lifting his hand, he carefully took the ends of several strands of hair and ran them through his fingers. He ached to touch her cheek, her lips, but he couldn't risk waking her.

As he half-heartedly washed the few plates, he thought about the first time he'd opened the door to her. He had initially just thought she was hot, but since her moving in and as they had opened up to each other he'd become smitten. She wasn't just 'hot', she was so much more and he hadn't quite fully understood how much more until he forced himself to protect her.

He had made his decision - he would keep her out.

She had woken shortly after him, he had heard her whimper and gently pad her way to the kitchen. He braced himself against the counter and fought to remain standing and silent when his name fell from her lips. The temptation was too great and once she's left the doorway, he left too.

Now, he was sitting on the bench that was dedicated, _'In the loving memory of Manda'_, facing the lake. The singing birds and whistling wind was a melodic backdrop to his wistful mood. His eyes scanned the picturesque scenery of the various shades of the end of summer.

He toyed with various ideas but eventually settled on the one that offered a permanent solution. He planned to talk to Jasper when he returned home and inform him of his decision to move out. He knew a few blokes that had a flat; he would see how they felt about him bunking in with them until he could find something more suitable. Jasper would be frustrated, but Edward knew he would understand and if he needed further convincing Edward would remind him of the words he'd screamed at her.

.

.

.

A/N: Ma Mere – French for My Mother.

Old Mare – Old female horse. Bella was using it in a derogative term, which has similar meaning as old battleaxe.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	12. Lay My Hat

A/N Twilight is Stephenie's and Rob is Kristen's – me? I've got a dwindling supply of coke zero.

.

.

.

Feeling sick from her turmoil and from the comfort binge, Bella tried to hold back her sobs long enough to tell Alice what had happened and even though Alice told her that Jasper had already phoned her, Bella needed to talk and Alice was more than willing to listen as she wrapped her arms around her.

Hearing her friend question herself and analysis everything she'd said to Edward made it especially difficult for Alice to keep Edward's personal details just that – personal.

When Bella asked if she could move in it tore Alice up to have to say no. Their house came with strict rules about sub-letting. Mr. Black, their Landlord made it abundantly clear, that only two tenants could share the property, as he did not want the wear and tear that too many occupants would cause.

She didn't want Bella to be out on the streets though, or heading back home to her parents, so suggested she camp out in the spare bedroom that was used for their office until she got herself on her feet.

Alice kept her worry about what Rose would think to herself. Rose hadn't even met Bella yet and whereas she and Rose were friends, if Rose got something in her mind that she wasn't happy about, she made no bones about setting it right and if she wasn't happy about the arrangement she could easily call Mr. Black. All he would have to do is refer to the small print that stated if the terms of the contract were broken an eviction notice would be served to the offending tenant. Not to mention her neighbours reporting them, Mr. Black made sure to point out that he was friendly with the people opposite and that he made it his business to check up on all his properties via his network of 'informants', as he fondly referred to them as.

.

.

.

Snapping shut the locks on his expensive leather briefcase, Mr. Black thought over the very interesting conversation he had just had with the old man opposite one of his leased properties. The grey hair codger had even kept times and dates for him knowing he would be rewarded with a bottle of fine Scotch, the type that one couldn't possibly afford on the state pension.

Mr. Black was now re-planning his schedule for the next day. Golf, he would probably need to cut down from the 27 holes he originally intended to play to 18 holes, then onto The Plough pub for a slab of steak and pint of Guiness... or two, followed by the serving of one eviction notice. He loathed the extra paper work but had plenty of students interested in the property concerned so he wasn't perturbed.

Breathing in the fresh air was gratifying after being cooped up in the Estate Agents office for the last hour whilst he had been putting in offers on a number of other properties and loitering, waiting for confirmation from the various vendors.

He eyed the bench ahead as an emo looking student with bronze hair trudged away. Mr. Black would never have sat next to such a person but now that the bench had been vacated, he was keen to sit and tarry.

.

.

.

The house was eerily quiet when Edward returned; he guessed both Jasper and Bella must be with Alice and figured there was no time like the present to pack up a holdall. Due to his depressive state, Edward searched through his CD's trying to find something to help him wallow further. He came across Gus Blacks "Paranoid" that Alice had brought for him when he was first diagnosed. He found it hilarious that whilst his parents avoided accidentally saying something that might possibly, in some minute way, be connected to Psychosis (unless of course it was a serious talk about quantities of medicine, the exact times of medication, diet, therapy and so forth) Alice had just gotten on the big elephant in the room. Then made it perform jaw-dropping tricks _and_ had tech-men train their spotlights on the very same performing animal.

He could have kissed Alice for it -in a very _platonic _way.

It had meant everything then to be so completely accepted and this solidified his trust in her. He flicked the CD case open knowing that he'd find her inscription inside, "...Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." It was perfect for the job.

Grabbing his acoustic, he strummed along.

.

.

.

Alice set up the inflatable bed in the office and sat stroking Bella's hair as she drifted into a fitful sleep. Alice hadn't heard from Edward all day and was beginning to worry. Turning off the desk lamp, she left the room. Her concerned grew when her calls continuously diverted to voicemail.

"Hi Edward, how's it hanging? Give us a call will ya?"

.

"Yo Cullen, missing your sick humour and need a fix. Call me."

.

"Feeling abandoned best friend – sort it out and give me some love."

As time wore on she become more fearful.

"Call me as soon as you get this."

.

"Edward?"

.

"Ughhh, stop ignoring me and feeling sorry for yourself and ring me back before I send out a freakin' search party."

.

Jasper knocked on Edward's door just after 10.30, he wanted to make sure his mate was okay before he went to bed. A dishevelled head poked around the door and once Edward saw Jasper, he opened the door all the way.

"Dude... we need to talk." Jasper didn't miss the sombre tone of Edward's voice.

"I'll just fresh up first mate."

Jasper had no idea what was coming but hoped that whatever it was he was strong enough to do what was necessary. Jasper never noticed Bella's note when he went into his room, it was only as he turned to leave that he spotted it.

Storming back into Edward's bedroom, brandishing the scrap of paper Jasper ranted, "Edward, what the hell did you say to her?"

"I'd already said enough Jasper, what else could I say? This is what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm leaving man, I don't want to hurt her again. I'll be gone in the morning." Jasper looked at Edward incredulously.

"You never told her about your... Why the hell not Edward? You do know she actually thinks she's upset you... and now this." Jasper waved the paper in Edward's direction. "You don't need to move out mate, she's already gone!"

Grabbing the note Edward read her parting words. Grabbing his hair, he worried as to where she was.

"Have you spoken to Alice recently?"

Jasper shrugged, "Last night. I was going to pop in earlier but got waylaid." Edward grabbed his mobile and noticed the five missed calls.

"Damn it!"

.

.

Alice snatched up her phone as the ringtone started and without looking to see who was calling she cried, "Edward that had better be you and you had better have a really good reason for ignoring all of my calls!"

"Calm down Alice-"

"I will not calm down!" she interrupted, "I've got Bella here and she's been sobbing half the afternoon. You do know she's moved out don't you? All you had to do was tell her Edward, I don't get why this is such a big damn secret all of a sudden!"

"Have you finished Alice?" Edward was raw knowing that Bella had been hurt even more by him, but right now he didn't appreciate Alice ripping off his left testicle and hitting him on the head with it. He was doing what was best for Bella in the long run, he was convinced of it.

Alice was actually far from finished, but at least he was on the same page as her about not causing Bella any more hurt.

"For now!" she quipped.

"I'll be leaving in the morning."

Alice didn't think it was possible to any more annoyed than she was until she heard those six words, "What? _You're_ leaving. Where to Edward? Where are you going? We're starting Uni next week for goodness sakes."

"I'm bunking down with a mate and then I'm going to get a flat by myself, that way no-one will be on the receiving end," he reasoned.

Alice was beyond exasperated and didn't understand his martyr act at all.

"Edward everything is fine, why this crazy change of plans? Just tell Bella."

"No Alice, and you can't either. Promise me you won't." Alice did make him a promise just not the one he thought, neither had Jasper nor had his parents and she'd be speaking with all of them as soon as she got off the phone from him.

"I love you Edward and would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. I promise."

"Thanks Alice, I'll see you soon okay?"

"Okay."

It was going to be a long night.

.

.

.

A/N The chapter title was taken from a Paul Young Song, 'Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home)."

"Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Not my words, His words - 1 Corinthians 13, New International Version (NIV)

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	13. A Long Night

A/N Still Stephenie's.

.

.

.

"Edward, nothing's changed. "

"Everything's changed Jasper, Bella changes everything." Edward was dead set on moving out, he didn't want Bella having to re-locate after just settling in. He was just sorry that she had been struggling to get everything out of her room while he was off sulking and now she'd have to get everything back in.

If he needed convincing more - and he didn't, her moving out increased his negative views of himself and just how monstrous he was. She wasn't just upset enough to avoid him, she had needed to remove herself from him completely and he didn't blame her.

Alice wasted no time as she speed-dialled Jasper, "Jazz?"

"Hang on babe..." She heard a door shut, "Alice?"

"I'm still here." Alice sat down on the rug Indian style and took a deep breath, "Jazz, you were right the other day."

"Sorry Babe, I didn't quite catch that."

"I said... you were right the other day."

Jasper chuckled, "_That's_ what I thought you said - you can understand why I needed you to repeat it though, right?"

"Huh huh, as long as _you_ understand it'll be a loooong time before you hear it again," she teased. It was good to have a moment with Jazz before she made the telephone calls that would set her plan in motion.

"So what have you given me permission to be right about then Babe?"

"Telling Bella. I think we should Jazz. They are so good together and I know Bella wouldn't be fazed by his psychosis and besides, doesn't she deserve the chance to decide for herself?"

"You're preaching to the converted Alice. If they'd had more time before he'd had an episode, they'd have had to face this together. They'd have been too involved – I'm convinced of it." Jasper had noticed their lingering touches and light flirting and he would have bet good money that they'd've been an item before Michaelmas term was out. "So what you got in mind Gorgeous?"

Alice swooned at his term of endearment and for a milli-second forgot what the task ahead was.

"I was um... I... Jasper Whitlock stop turning my mind into mush, I need my game head on!" she playfully chastised. "I calling Esme, it's time for the big guns."

They continued to discuss their friends and by the end of their conversation Alice had practically gotten them married off and now, she needed to set the wheels in motion.

.

.

Walking through the lounge of his six bedroomed detached house, Mr. Black admired the freshly mowed lawn that was currently floodlit as the sprinkler system that was refreshing the Cereus plants had activated the motion sensors. One of the lights in the sound studio at the far corner of the acre and a half garden was left on; Mr. Black had already warned Paul, his housekeeper, that he should be more diligent. He lifted his chin with dissatisfaction; he would need to be more firm. An official verbal warning should suffice.

.

.

Carlisle and Esme stepped out of the shower, "You get more beautiful as the years pass by darling." Carlisle loved his wife deeply and still fancied her as he did when he was just a teenager - a hormone infused teenager and right now, he felt every bit as horny.

He slapped her butt and wrapped his arms around her waist. Esme leaned back against his chest and turned her head to pepper kisses along his stubbled jaw.

"And _you_ Carlisle are just as handsome _and_ charming _and_ _hard_ as ever," she giggled.

"Only for you Love. Fancy doing something about it?" He pressed his erection against her whilst nibbling her ear. Esme turned quickly in his arms and knelt before him.

"Your wish is my-" The shrill of the house phone broke into the moment, "I'll be back Big Boy, do _not_ sort _that_ out by yourself," she flirted and after placing a kiss on the tip of his pride and joy she stood up and practically skipped off to answer the late caller.

The answer machine kicked in before Esme answered, 'Hello, you have reached the residence of-'

"Hello?"

"Esme, hi it's Alice."

Esme loved Alice like a daughter and spent many a day watching her and Edward play in the inflatable pool when she'd been knee high to a grasshopper, but right at this moment hearing Alice so soon after Edward had had an episode made her panic.

"Alice? Is it Edward? Is he okay? What's-"

"It's alright Esme Edward's fine, but I _am_ calling about him. Sorry it's so late; I hope I never got you out of bed or anything." Esme wanted to say that they hadn't quite made it _that_ far, but didn't want to embarrass either of them.

"No, no, it's fine Dear. I wasn't in bed and Carlisle's still up." Carlisle choked on the chilled milk he was sipping and shook his head at his wife's remark.

Oblivious to the innuendo Alice filled Esme in. Carlisle had picked up the second receiver so that they could all be involved.

Carlisle and Esme trusted Alice with their son's welfare inexplicitly and even though Carlisle said Edward was old enough to make a decision like this for himself, the two women convinced him that Edward needed some help with his love life, just as the whole of his gender did.

Carlisle, who was still on to a promise, didn't need much more convincing before conceding.

Vowing to visit soon Alice ended the call with her surrogate mother. Now it was cleared with the three nearest and dearest to Edward she would wake Bella and tell her that which Edward was so insistent on her not knowing.

.

.

Waking to the aroma of coffee and the gentle nudges of Alice was disorienting but she grinned lazily up at her.

"What time is it?"

"Don't be mad, but it's ten to two." Alice cringed.

"Ten to two... in the morning Alice?"

"Umm, yeah – sorry. Am I forgiven?" Alice didn't look at all sorry, but Bella sat up and took the coffee before shrugging and supping the much needed caffeine.

"S'pose. So what's the emergency?"

"Let's go to my room, we'll both fit under the quilt in there." Bella obediently followed entirely curious and hoping beyond hope that it wasn't bad news.

"I'll get straight to the point." Alice had Bella's full attention as she shared Edward's history, medical and otherwise. "When we were twelve Edward started hanging around with this idiot Marcus, everyone but Edward could see him for the loser he was. I mean he acted all hard, shoving his weight about.

His dad had been in and out of prison for theft, robbery, burglary – you name it, he'd done it. We all tried hard to like Marcus 'cause we felt bad for him Bella, but he was vile. Edward was so placid and Marcus just dominated him." Placing her cup on the side Bella shifted to get a bit more comfortable.

"Did he meet him at school?"

"Yeah, they were both in detention at the same time. Edward had failed to hand in his homework for the first time _ever _and Marcus had told his teacher to go screw himself. So you can see Bella, they were poles apart."

"Oh I'm just loving this Marcus guy already." Bella grated.

"Well one time after school Rose and I were taking a short cut through the park and we could see Marcus and Edward larking around, they spotted us and ran over. Edward as talking none stop, which was well weird 'cause he had been a right moody bugger with me since hooking up with the Loser.

"Rose knew what was going on straight away though. I hadn't a clue Bella, I just thought maybe he'd had too much caffeine or something. Anyway, she asked him what he'd taken and he and Marcus just laughed – like manically. Rose and I dragged Edward home. Marcus hurled abuse at us and shoved us, but I'd had enough of him, whatever Edward _had_ taken had obviously been supplied by him."

Bella felt the bile in her throat at the thought of Edward doing drugs and at such a young age. "Did you manage to get him home?"

"We did. Esme took him straight to hospital. It turned out he'd eaten marijuana. Edward experienced heart-palpitations and dizziness before falling asleep. Poor sod slept for fourteen hours."

"Did he confirm that Marcus gave it him when he woke up then?"

"No, he swore he hadn't taken anything, but his bloods contradicted that. The doctor asked him what food he'd had and it turns out that Marcus had given him a fairy cake. The doctor informed us that it was likely that the marijuana had been added to the ingredients."

Shock was evident on Bella's face, "I hope Marcus got done, please tell me he got done."

"They couldn't prove it was him Bella. He got off scott free, but the worst is to come. A few months later Edward had a bad week, like a _really_ bad week. He was shouting and screaming at everyone. He was sent home from school a couple of times before they finally put him on a three-day suspension for his aggressive behaviour. I went over to see him, I barely recognised him." Alice placed her hand on Bella's leg to relax her, as she was rigid with tension.

"What do you mean, you barely recognised him?"

Alice hated this particular memory of Edward as it was the first time she'd witnessed an episode, it stayed vivid in her mind.

"He was screaming at Esme accusing her of trying to kill him and he'd called the police. They pulled up as I arrived -Esme was arrested."

"What? Why would he do that, did she try to-" Bella gasped.

"Gosh no Bella, Esme's such a loving and gentle woman, yeah she can be feisty if her family is threatened but she's a fantastic mom.

"It was a big ordeal, Social Services were involved. They said that unless Esme moved out of the family home Edward would be placed in foster care. It was awful." Bella could see the memories were still haunting Alice. She couldn't begin to imagine what Edward was thinking accusing his mother like that.

"So Edward made it up? Why...? I don't understand."

"After months of interviews and hours with psychiatrists his was diagnosed as having Paranoid Schizophrenia."

"As in a psychopath? Was it related to the marijuana?"

Alice explained how it was likely that the drug had triggered the psychosis and corrected her stereotyping. She told her about the various episodes he'd had over the years and how they had manifested.

"So you're saying that's what was happening when I went home?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Why are you apologising? It wasn't your fault, blimey Alice it's not even Edward's fault, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I couldn't keep you away Bella. That's what Jazz and I was trying to do."

"Edward could have told me this – why didn't _he_ tell me?"

"He has the idea that he's a quote 'monster' unquote," Alice explained using two fingers from each hand to draw speech marks in the air. "He hates himself for it. He doesn't want to hurt you. Bella he cares about you and this is his way of protecting you."

"By shutting me out Alice? How the hell is _that_ protecting _me_? Telling me would have been protecting me - at least I'd have had a freakin' clue about what was going on!"

Bella's concern was slowly simmering into anger.

"So what now Alice? Is he never going to speak to me again, is that it? What a dumb plan, how the hell did this guy get a place in Cambridge University if this is his sodding logic?"

Alice couldn't help the snort that came out as she was desperately attempting at keeping her laughter from spilling out.

"I don't know what you're finding so funny? Why are you only just telling me this anyway? There's been plenty of opportunities to mention it?"

"Oh Bella you are so right, his logic is backwards... and how could I tell you, it's his business?"

"So why are _you_ telling me now then Alice?" It was with a very pointed look that Bella asked this question.

"Because I decided to make it _my_ business Bella. You said it, he's dumb and my intervention was called for." Bella rolled her eyes, but couldn't be mad because she understood her reasoning.

"There's something else Bella." Her eyes wary, Bella looked at Alice through her eyelashes, "He's going to be mad I've told you, not psychotic mad – worse, he's going to be feeling betrayed mad."

.

.

.

A/N: The things you do for fic, 'recipes for marijuana' now has a place in my recently viewed history log. No sampling was needed and no human's were high during the writing of this chapter.

Michaelmas term - derives its name from the Feast of St Michael and All Angels, which falls on 29 September. The term runs from September or October to Christmas and is the only term name shared by Cambridge and Oxford Universities (thanks go to Wikipedia for that snippet of info.).

Cereus plants bloom at night, which is why Mr. Black could appreciate them at such a late hour.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	14. Repercussions

A/N Belongs to Mrs Meyer

.

.

.

Orange and reds bathed the early morning sky and a slight dampness filled the air. The idle chatter from the car journey over had abated as both stood outside the familiar yellow door; too tense to knock.

"Ready?"

"Er... No!"

"Shall we sit in the car for bit, it might be too early?"

"How long's a bit?"

"Until tomorrow...?"

"Just knock, my tummy's in knots as it is."

"I'll just phone Jazz – no need to make a big announcement just yet."

"Good idea."

"Yeah..."

"Well, go on then."

"I am, I am, geez give a girl a minute."

"_Alice."_

"_Bella."_

Bella just went for it and hammered the door.

"BELLA, what the heck? I was just-"

"No you weren't, you were still stalling."

"And you weren't?"

The young women were still bickering lightly back and forth when the front door opened. Jasper stood amused and made a point to check his watch and yawn loudly.

"Miss me Alice? Is that why you need to be on my doorstep at five to seven?"

"Always Baby. Now let us in." They all made their way to the living room.

Bella was feeling skittish and the two lovebirds didn't help, they made their excuses and headed up to Jasper's room. Jasper had reassured her that they'd only be twenty minutes and Edward wouldn't be up before eight anyway. Bella wasn't reassured as she sat down awkwardly on the settee, the same settee that Edward had slept on the other night as she had watched him.

She lifted the cushion to her face and buried her nose into it – it smelt just like him and she ached for him. With her eyes firmly shut she continued taking deep breaths – Edward was assaulting her senses and she wanted nothing more than re-establish the connection they had had. She loved the way he looked at her, not just a glance – he searched her eyes. He gave her 100% attention, his body always angled towards her or leaning into her. Some part of him always touching her, her lower back, her fingers, the inside of her elbow and she missed him, in just a week they'd become really close.

A creak on the stairs brought her back from the scent-induced daze and she dropped the cushion on the floor as she quickly stood, her heart drumming erratically against her ribcage. Edward froze when he saw her taken completely unawares. Remembering his plan, he put the walls back in place and strode towards the kitchen.

"Edward?" He gritted his teeth in an effort to not respond. "Edward please?" He was raw and he wanted to look at her and see the affection in her eyes again not the anguish that he knew was there – there because of _him_.

Not wanting the silence to continue and not really knowing a good way to start the conversation Bella just blurted out,

"I know Edward... I-I know about the psychosis." She was right _that_ got his attention all right. He looked right at her, Bella saw his vulnerability and stepped quickly towards him her arm reaching out forward towards his.

His eyes turned cold though, his lip curled up as he snarled, "What is it you _think_ you know Bella?"

"That-"

"Stop," he whispered shaking his head. "You know nothing Bella... _nothing._"

"Help me to know then Edward, you don't have to push me away. I _care_ about you."

"You don't know me, not really," his voice barely audible. "She promised you know?" He looked away, defeated. She knew he was referring to Alice and even though she knew Alice had promised not to deliberately hurt him and had not promised that she wouldn't reveal his 'condition', she had her own battle to fight right now and Alice would have to fight hers later.

"I didn't understand before, I thought you hated me."

"What and you _understand_ now?"

"Yes."

"You understand that I could have a fit of jealousy that could last for days, a _week_ with no control over it?

"You understand that I could be so paranoid that I accused you of screwing my mate?

"You understand that I'll need to lock myself away because I'll think every bloody aeroplane is going to bomb me? Yeah... I don't think so Bella." He added bitterly.

"How about stop presuming what I do or don't get Edward and let me decide," she reasoned. "I was scared the other day because _I_ thought it was real. If I known I'd have-"

"What? Sat around while I accused you of being a whore? Sympathised when I spewed my hate and rage at you. Even if _you_ could do that Bella, _I _can't. I don't want that for you... you deserve so much more."

Alice and Jasper had fully intended on being with Bella when Edward woke up and where so busy with each other that they hadn't heard Edward get up and now that they could hear the conversation was in full force, they were reluctant to interrupt. They stood silently at the top of the stairs though, in case they felt their intervention would help at any stage.

Bella reached forward again a touched his upper arm, he let her this time. She took full advantage and moved in closer and raised her other hand to the opposite arm. Edward was filled with shame and looked to the side down at the floor.

Bella had an overwhelming need to have him closer, her heart swelled painfully. She leaned in a gently pressed her lips to the underneath of his jaw. Satisfied that her kiss had been accepted, she placed another just shy of the last.

Strong hands gripped at shoulders forcibly moving her away. "I don't want this Bella; I don't want you and your understanding. I'm not a charity case. I'm not _your_ charity case."

"Will you give me some credit Edward. If it's _me_ you're concerned about then shouldn't I get a say? Can't we just _see_ if we can make this work?"

Edward couldn't believe that Bella was still willing to be a part of his life after what she'd seen of him let alone something more. His skin tingled where she kissed him and he was battling between his logic and his lust. His hands slowly left her shoulders and moved hesitantly down to her upper arms, then further until they were grasping both her hands. His thumbs caressed her skin as his eyes darted between her brown orbs and her freshly moistened lips.

Bella watched the battle in his eyes, only to be distracted by the bobbing of his Adam's apple. He leaned in warily.

Bella's mouth parted slightly in anticipation and she closed her eyes.

The sides of their noses touched and moved against each other - so close taking in each other's air as both of their breathing increased. Edward pulled away slightly and looked at her whilst still deciding if he should do this, if he should cross the line of friendship.

Feeling him pull away Bella made quickly to look at him and a small soft smile fixed itself in place. Edward placed a lingering kiss on her forehead instead. The intensity of the situation no less just because their mouth had not met. They didn't need to rush anything. He looked down at her with awe and adoration.

He was going to let her in after all.

.

.

.

A/N Better?

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	15. Friends

A/N Not mine.

.

.

.

Moving back in was fairly quick and painless and the days progressed much in the same way as they had before, except without the copious amounts of alcohol and late nights.

The foursome turned into five once Rose came on the scene. It messed with the dynamics. Rose didn't take to Bella, which naturally got Edward's back up and he made it his business to snub Rose and lavish all his attention on Bella – which was no hardship at all for him.

Edward and Bella were still friends and even though they were closer emotionally and flirted endlessly with each other, they hadn't crossed that friendship line – yet.

Rose wasn't fazed by Edward's lack of attention, he wasn't her sort at all, but she hated being the fifth wheel, and loathed being unnoticed so she went out with other friends instead.

The night before Uni started Edward and Bella were by themselves in the house - this in itself wasn't unusual, they'd spent a few evenings together alone.

Tuesday they'd watched a couple of 'Only Fools and Horses' DVD's, both quoting line after line back to each other.

Thursday, Edward challenged Bella to a game of Monopoly, he'd insisted on being banker and Bella insisted on buying everything she landed on. She bled his cash flow dry.

Friday they chopped veg. and cooked a delicious stir-fry before Edward beat the living daylights out of her on the Xbox.

There was anticipation in the air tonight though - both very aware of the other.

Edward admired the way her t-shirt clung to her just so.

Bella openly ogled his butt as he reached down into the cupboard.

Edward held her hips as he squeezed by her when she was washing up.

Bella touched and tapped his bare arm as she relayed an earlier event.

Their feelings had grown expeditiously with each waking hour and sleeping hour for that matter, having both experience vivid dreams of the other.

Bella became much too keyed up - to the point she could not longer stand still. Digging her fingers into the palms of both hands to stop herself from reaching for him she walked past and startled when Edward hooked his hand around the inside of her elbow and tugged her back towards him. He devoured her with his eyes and she could not, _did not_ want to move away, she wanted everything he had to give her.

The house stood in silence as if respecting the precious moment, Edward ran the pads of his fingers of his left hand over her eyebrow and temple, tracing down over her cheek to her jaw. He cupped the side of her neck with the same hand and traced the front of her throat with his thumb, watching every one of his hand's movements. His eyes darted to hers and her breath hitched in response.

He wanted her – nothing was going to stop him now – except for an unwilling Bella...

She saw the muscles in his jaw twitch and his Adam's apple bob up and down. Unconsciously she leaned forward as did he; they were millimetres away from each other. Their foreheads touched. Edward's lips puckered and he kissed the very corner of her mouth -once, twice. Bella reciprocated. Their slow hesitant kisses increased with pressure.

Edward revelled in her softness.

Bella melted into his taste.

With the kisses came touches, chaste but searching.

Fingers over flesh.

Palms over planes.

Squeezing and grasping.

Moans of pleasure and groans of frustration as neither could get close enough. Their bodies pressed tight. Tongues playful and then desperate. Bella overloaded with his touch, clutching at his t-shirt at the back as she pulled him closer still.

They were heady with lust and passion.

Everything she gave, Edward gave and more.

His body acted of its own accord his emotions alive, burning at his skin.

The two of them made out, cuddled, talked and made out some more throughout the evening. He placed kisses along her arms, highly amused at her giggles as he rubbed his lips on the inside of her elbow.

Bella satisfied when Edward bit his bottom lip as she ran her flat palm along the top edge of his jeans, teasingly dipping her fingers under the belt.

After Bella had yawned for the fourth time, Edward suggested that it was time for bed especially as they had to be up early for Uni. An awkward silence filled the previously electric atmosphere. Bella second-guessing his meaning as Edward sat totally oblivious to his faux pas wondering what had changed.

Bella shook off her nervousness, gave him a quick peck on the mouth and told him she'd see him in the morning before dashing off to her room. Edward was taken aback by the speed in which she left but thought nothing of it as his climbed the stairs to his own bed – alone.

As he walked by Bella's door he hesitated, finding it difficult not to imagine her there, in bed, probably naked. Her softness against his hardness. Ruffling his hair and dragging his hands down his face, he continued to his room. The imagines very clear in his mind's eye as he took care of the big problem that had been squeezed uncomfortably in his jeans for most of the night.

He came hard as he recalled Bella's soft moans as he had touched and caressed her over her clothes.

Lying in bed with an ache in her tummy. Between her legs, her fingers damp - Bella arched as her orgasm caused her hips to lift from her bed. She continued to rub herself as she came down from the high, her body twitching as she became too sensitive to continue.

They both drifted off contently that night.

Neither knew what the future would hold. Both unsure as to how they would get through the difficulties that lay ahead, not just with the usual misunderstanding as they learned about each other's likes and dislikes but also with his 'condition'. Could Bella be _that _strong? Would Edward cope with the guilt? All they knew was that they wanted to give it a good go rather than always wondering, 'what if?'

.

.

Bella woke abruptly in the early hours, she listened carefully, curious as to what had woken her, was it really a vase or lamp crashing to the ground? Leaping out of bed, she grabbed her pepper spray and quietly opened her door, still straining her ears for any other unusual sounds.

Edward had heard the same noise, only he grabbed his dumbbells as a weapon. He'd thankfully oiled his door in the week so it opened smoothly and without sound. Instantly seeing Bella on the landing, he went into protective mode.

"Go back in your bedroom Bella!" he quietly hissed. "If it's an intruder I'll need you to dial 999." Bella shook her head.

"No way, I'm coming with you."

"Stay behind me then," he compromised, "Please."

Nodding her agreement Bella gestured for Edward to go in front, she was scared enough to go behind Edward, but cared enough not to leave him to tackle whatever it was alone.

Bella held the bottom edge of his tee as he descended the stairs. There was some sort of scuffling coming from the kitchen causing Bella to freeze. Looking over his shoulder Edward whispered that they should go with the element of surprise and as soon as the intruder was in sight that he'd run at him. Wide-eyed Bella nodded quickly.

Continuing across the living room it was now Edward's turn to freeze.

"Ughhh, mhmmm, Al."

Suddenly realising what was going on Edward did a one eighty, Bella was struggling to hold her poise as they looked at each other.

"Jazzy, I adore your giant c-"

They couldn't move fast enough and both dove into Bella's bedroom closing the door behind them before laughing. Bella had tears in her eyes as she struggled to keep her giggles quiet. Edward noticed the beautiful blush on her cheeks and didn't hold back as he closed his distance from her. The mood changed from light and jovial to heavy and serious immediately.

Holding her head in his hands Edward quickly leaned into her and captured her lips within his - seeking her tongue with his. They eventually ended up on her bed. Their arms and legs tangled around each other's. Her chest pressed against his. His pelvis pushed against hers.

Frantic in their movements, they moved against each other, eventually slowing and reaching a more successful and satisfying rhythm. Edward was pressed exactly where she needed him. His hardness driving her insane, whilst helping her build the divine coiling pressure with her. His breath became choppy and his hips lost a little rhythm on occasion, as he became increasingly close but desperately holding off for her.

Bella's one arm was hooked underneath his arm, her hand gripping his shoulder. The fingers of her other hand sank into the cotton of his boxers kneading the tight muscles of his butt, feeling them tighten and flex as he pushed against her.

She brought her leg over his changing their position, both feeling the dampness of their underwear - their juices mixing. She told Edward she was close and as her cry escaped Edward captured her mouth with his so they didn't make their activities public knowledge like Alice and Jasper had earlier. His orgasm quickly followed hers, burying his mouth into her shoulder as his fingers dug into her hips.

They lay with Edward on top of Bella for nearly ten minutes kissing each wherever they could without moving their bodies. Finally, too uncomfortable to remain in his boxers Edward rolled off Bella. He stood up gave Bella a quick kiss and told her he'd be back in a minute.

Having cleaned himself up without being discovered, he slipped back into Bella's room and back into her bed. Realising she was already asleep he wrapped his hand around her waist and pressed himself up against her.

He enjoyed being close to her and even though he had been desperate to remove their clothes and make love to her he hadn't want to rush. With a gentle smile on his lips as he recalled her open mouth and scrunched closed eyes as she came, he dosed off.

.

.

.

A/N Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	16. Day One

A/N SM's

.

.

.

Having eventually located the correct room, the lecture was now in full flow. Scribbling notes, line after line and the odd pattern in the corner of the page when she daydreamed.

.

.

Waking up with Edward had been a bit awkward, she had been well aware of her morning breath and the birds' nest that adorned her head. Edward was the total opposite, he woke up looking as good as he did before he went to sleep and she didn't venture close enough to smell anything unsavoury as she was too concerned about her own odours.

He had attempted a morning kiss but Bella quickly scooted out of the bed and to the bathroom saying she needed to pee. Having emptied her bursting bladder she glanced into the mirror – it was far worse than she'd imagined, the hair was _beyond _a mess and her eyes were smudged with mascara. She also had a thick red round indent in her cheek from lying on her wrist, the one that she had failed to remove the watch from. Sighing deeply she swilled her face and brushed her teeth.

Stepping back into her room more than keen to get up close and personal with Edward again, she was filled with disappointment to find her bed empty.

.

.

Without Bella noticing the Lecturer had walked over to stand next to her.

"Year after year only the best successfully gain a place at Cambridge – I think our standards are slipping as the best apparently choose to doodle in lessons instead of paying attention." Bella lifted her head and felt the gaze of every student on her. Blushing, she whispered her apology.

"It's your first day I trust this is not how you intend to continue throughout the year – otherwise you may well have just burnt the money you're paying in fees." Sitting upright and pulling back her shoulders Bella pushed all thoughts of Edward and his body out of mind – mostly. Determined to show the Lecturer that she wasn't a time waster, Bella studiously continued with her notes.

It was a long day.

Unsure of where they'd be at the end of classes Jasper, Alice, Edward and Bella had all driven into Uni separately. Therefore, Bella was alone with her thoughts as she drove back home via Starbucks. She thought Edward had been so sweet when he knocked on her door that morning with a tray of poached egg on toast and a steaming creamy coffee.

"Not quite breakfast in bed," he shrugged. Bella took the tray from him and after placing it on her mattress she kissed him, not just a quick, 'Why how thoughtful, thank you very much' kiss, but with an 'I'm extremely keen to get buck naked with you right now' kiss. Edward read the message loud and clear, but he pulled away and placed a couple of chaste kisses on her lips before saying,

"You look so damn sexy when you come Bella." Smirking he turned a left. Bella had instantly felt bereft and short of breath.

He'd gone before Bella made her way to the kitchen to wash up her breakfast things, but she was happy in the knowledge that she'd see him that night, when he came home.

Taking five in Starbucks was just what she needed. Despite the day beginning so well, she'd had an odious time and was sporting a stress headache. She had been surprised by the sheer quantity of work on the first day having hoped they would be weaned back in more slowly.

Wrong.

She was already wishing for the end of the Michaelmas term.

.

.

Even though she was tired, she cooked for four, plating and covering all the meals as the house was still empty. Flopping into the settee, she flicked on the TV.

Jasper was first to arrive.

"Hey you, blimey that smells good, please say there's some for me?" Bella laughed and got up to pop hers and Jasper's chicken and mushroom curry in the microwave.

"So how was your day Jasper?" Bella actually found herself heating up as she remembered his and Alice's intimate murmurings in the early hours.

"Long and hard..." But it was only Bella cracked up at the unintentional innuendo. The house door opened and Edward called through playfully,

"Honey I'm home..."

"In here!"

Edward threw down his rucksack and pulled Bella into his arms. Jasper realised quickly that Edward and Bella were no longer _just friends_ as the tonsil tickling display made him back out of the kitchen, fast.

Hearing the ping of the microwave Jasper politely asked if it was safe to come back in.

"You better had Jazzy else I'm gonna start on your meal!" Bella gave Edward a pointed look of disapproval at Edward's mocking use of Alice's name for Jasper as they had got down and dirty earlier that day.

Bella didn't think Jasper had cottoned on so she placed his tea on the dining table and placed hers opposite him telling Edward to have it and that she'd heat up the other one.

"So _Jasper_," Edward started looking at Bella with his eyebrow raised, showing her he could behave himself, "Will Alice be joining us later?"

Jasper looked down into his meal and shook his head. "No."

"Really? I thought she'd have come straight here with you to be honest."

"Just leave it Edward; can we talk about something else?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows and took another glance at Bella - she looked just as confused.

"So, er... Did you find your way around okay?"

"Yeah, I had a map of the schools layout, so I had no problems." His answer was just that, an answer. There was no eye contact nor was there any reciprocation.

The microwave programme ending, made Bella jump. Using the towel, she placed her meal down and sat in the seat between Edward and Jasper. No one spoke. The only sound was that of the knives and forks as they hit and scraped against the plates. Edward let his pinkie touch Bella's hand several times, unable to talk to her like he'd hoped given the mood Jasper was in.

"Thank you for cooking Bella." Jasper looked up at Bella briefly but didn't catch her eye. Bella noticed that his had tears brimming over the edge. Once Jasper was safely out of earshot, Edward and Bella spoke as the same time,

"What's up with-"

"Why is Jas-"

Neither of them knew what was upsetting Jasper, but Bella told Edward she'd call Alice after she'd washed up. Edward insisted on clearing up as Bella had cooked the delicious meal. He then thanked her with a full-lipped lingering kiss.

"Will you call Alice while I wash-up?"

Not wasting any time she pulled out her mobile and speed dialled her mate. It went to voicemail.

"Hi Alice... just phoning to see how your day went. I was hoping to see you over dinner, but well, er... obviously, you wasn't here. I cooked chicken curry; I'll keep yours in the fridge in case you come over later or tomorrow. Speak to you soon."

Alice ignored her phone when she saw that it was Bella figuring she'd seen Jasper by now and had questions she wanted answering. Too consumed by annoyance to speak to anyone Alice grabbed her car keys and hoped a long drive would help.

Driving did calm her somewhat but the bar ahead was a welcome sight and Alice decided to stop. Making her mind up that if she ended up drinking too much, she would leave her car and get a cab home. Pulling up on the quiet street, she took out her anger on the car as she pulled hard on the handbrake. Looking up at the sky, she blinked back her tears. She would _not_ cry - at least not in public.

Making sure her car was locked she stepped in The Dobblers Inn where she immediately noticed the large projection screen showing tonight's football game and several students gathered around hurling abuse at the Ref. - as if they would do a better job at racing around the pitch ensuring fair play. By the looks of them, they would collapse from exhaustion just running out of the Tunnel.

Alice walked toward the bar digging her in her pockets for one of the twenty pound notes she knew was there.

"First one's on me," the friendly looking Bartender told her.

"Thanks, I'll have a double brandy."

Her drink appeared swiftly, "I'm James by the way."

"Alice," was all she offered before downing the drink in one. "I'll have another one of those and keep them coming."

James smiled sympathetically, "Bad day."

"Yup."

In no time at all Alice was slumped against the bar, telling the attentive James all about the fall out she'd had with Jasper.

James was disappointed to hear her woes were boyfriend related, but offered a listening ear as he looked down her top. He'd make sure she got home safely tonight by driving her home in her car and if he got invited in - all the better.

.

.

A/N James? Why does he sound familiar?

Let me know what you think?

Ficturesque x


	17. Drunken Fumble

A/N Characters and cannon are SM's

.

.

.

Rose was hammering on Alice's door, "You've got two minutes to get up else I'm coming in with a bowl of cold water which I'll happily pour over your dumb head!"

Alice rolled over groaning in pain – the herd of elephants were Irish dancing in her head.

The door flew open and Rose kept true to her word. Alice shrieked and recoiled as the pain intensified. So not only was she dying from a handover, she was now soaked and freezing her butt off!

"Rose Hale! When I'm more capable - you are dead!"

"Whatever... you're lucky I haven't kicked you ass for last night, now get out of bed you bloody harpy!"

Not understanding what she'd done to pee Rose off so royally Alice tried to think, which was a bad idea. She wanted to remove her brain – death would be well received by Alice in the state she was in.

Rose helped her to the shower and shoved her in, clothes and all. Before Alice could fathom what was going on Rose switched on the shower, not caring that the first ten seconds would be freezing cold before warming up.

Alice burst into tears, "Rose..." she sobbed as her teeth chattered, "What-"

Rose didn't give her chance to ask what it was that she'd done to make her so mad as Rose cut her short, "Just shut up and wash up, then get your sorry ass in the lounge, I'll be driving you to school today."

By the time had Alice tentatively showered and dressed some of last night came back... Who the heck was James?

Rose had placed two Paracetomol and a glass of water on the table next to three rounds of dry toast. Alice balked at the thought of swallowing anything, but when she looked up and saw Rose glaring at her she feared the consequences if she didn't.

Nibbling on the toast Alice bit the bullet, "Why are you so peed off with me?" If looks could kill Alice would be six feet under instantaneously.

"I wander what you could have possibly done _Alice?_" she snapped, "That could make me want to slap you around." Alice shrank further into her chair.

"You get totally wasted whilst out on your own... idiot! So bloody wasted, that some _leach_ called James, drives you home and ever so helpfully comes into our house. Not only does he help you in but he takes you to your bedroom and helps undress you ready for bed!" Alarmed Alice squeaked,

"Did I... did he? Did we?"

"No Alice, be grateful that he brought you into my room instead of yours. Cause I kicked the lousy little piece of crap out!" Alice sighed with relief. "You do realise what could have happened don't you?" Rose's anger had faded as she asked this question, knowing that even though Alice had been stupid, she hadn't deserved _that_.

Alice nodded as tears streamed down her face. "Thank you," she managed to choke out. Rose gathered her into her arms and gently stroked her head.

"I'd never have forgiven myself if he'd been next door to me doing _that_ to you while I slept." Rose held her close until the sobbing became hiccups. "Why _was_ you out on your own? You should have called me, you know I'm always ready for a few rounds."

"I'd had a stupid row with Jazz... I went mad at him Rose."

"Why, what happened?"

"I'd finished my last class and was waiting on the bench where we'd agreed to meet. A guy from my class walked passed and recognised me and we got talking.

"We'd been there chatting for about 20 minutes when John, the lad from my class, put his hand on my knee. He had his hand there for all of a second Rose and I was reaching for it to move it away explaining that I was with Jazz.

"All Jazz saw was John's hand on my knee and he thought I was placing my hand on top of his. He just went mad Rose. I'd never seen him so enraged. John didn't know what hit him."

"What? Jasper hit him?"

"Yeah... and then when I shouted at Jazz he thought I was defending John because I wanted his attention.

"John shoved Jazz back, but I made them both stop. Jazz looked so broken Rose, but I was so mad that he trusted me so little... All I want now though is to be in his arms, I need him and he hates me."

Rose put the rest together understanding now why Alice had needed to be so tanked.

Noticing the time Rose asked Alice if she needed a personal day and said she'd stay home if Alice wanted her to.

"No, no, I'll be fine... I'll just wash my face and I'll be ready to go." Really, Alice needed to take the day off, she was emotionally raw and had the hangover from hell, but it was only the second day, she couldn't just bunk off.

Giving Rose a grateful smile, she accepted the lift knowing she was far too distracted and probably still way over the legal driving limit to drive herself.

Donning her sunshades Alice entered her first class. She spotted John immediately, his swollen bruised eye stood out in contrast to his pale skin. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as she walked over to him.

"I am so sorry John," she whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I'll get over Alice, but I think it's better if we keep our distance – this is not a look I'm keen to have again, unless of course you ditched the overly jealous boyfriend?" he added hopefully. Alice resented his tone about Jasper even though she couldn't blame him.

"I guess we'll be keeping our distance then," she told him and headed to the table at the back of the room.

Jasper left the house without breakfast not wanting to be quizzed or pitied by his fellow tenants. When he pulled up, he noticed Alice getting out of Rose's car, sporting her shades. His heart filled with longing. He wanted to go to her, tell her he forgave her, but he couldn't. If she'd accepted that bloke's attention so easily where did that leave them?

So he remained seated just watching her. The tap at his passenger window brought him back to reality. Rose was looking back at him. He wound down the window.

"What can I do for you Rose?" his voice strained.

Rose didn't beat around the bush. She informed him that he was a dumb, overly jealous ass, explaining what Alice had told her, deciding not to tell him about James, as that was Alice's story to tell. Jasper closed his eyes realising his stupidity. His head lulled back onto the headrest.

"Thanks Rose," his voice was hoarse but his thanks were heartfelt.

"No problem, I'm always ready to insult you," she added giving him a sad smile. "I'll be out all night tonight, make sure you come round and sort this out." He nodded and thanked her again.

He had some serious grovelling to do and one heck of an apology – he just hoped it would be enough.

.

.

.

A/N Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	18. TFIF

A/N Stephenie, Stephenie, Stephenie...

.

.

.

The week passed quickly. Edward and Bella made as much time for each other as possible whilst trying not to fall behind on home study. It was a difficult balance to find; the couple of hours together each evening wasn't enough and even though they had both enjoyed spending the night together earlier in the week – it was something they hadn't repeated.

Jasper's apology was accepted before it was even completely out of his mouth. The James experience made Alice put her priorities in order and remaining mad at Jasper for jumping to the wrong conclusion wasn't in either of their interests. Besides, she's have probably have done the same had some pretty girl had her hand on his knee. She wouldn't telling him that though...

The weekend was gratefully received. They all spent Friday together – working, so that the rest of the weekend was free. Several hours and several cups of caffeine later and everyone had finished their toil. Exhaustion was apparent on each and everyone's face.

"I'm heading up before I fall into a coma." Edward held his hand out to Bella, "You ready?" Grabbing his hand Bella hoisted herself up.

"Always," she flirted looking him up and down. Edward chuckled appreciatively at his girl as she took him in.

They stopped outside her door to kiss goodnight. Things got heavy; Edward pressed her into the wall. Bella felt his arousal and desire coursed its way through her body. "Edward," she gasped as he effortlessly lifted her; Bella laced her legs around him, gripping him tight as he continued to push her against the wall.

Kisses became somewhat frenzied, teeth clashing and nipping. Bella writhed against him. "Edward, I want you."

Unable to pull away he sidestepped and fumbled for the door handle, he finally managed to tug it down and the door opened.

Edward kicked the door shut, losing his balance they both crashed into her bed.

Sheets were scattered and fell useless to the ground. Bella started to pull her top off, but Edward reluctantly stopped her, "I want you too Bella," he breathed, "But I want us to wait."

She looked at him dumbfounded, "Wait? For what?"

"This isn't just about sex for me-"

"I-"

"Please let me finish – I want this with you, but I need for it to be in the right order."

Even more confused, she asked, "Do you mean you want to wait until we're old and married Edward?" He chuckled, knowing he definitely did _not_ want to wait that long and the thought of marriage to anyone let alone someone he'd been dating only two weeks was well off the mark.

Shaking his head, "No, I'm not _that_ antiquated. We're already living together, I want for us to feel more for each other – I want to make love to you because I'm in love with you." Bella looked at him and saw his adoration and determination, "It won't be a long wait Bella, I'm already in over my head," he appeased.

Bella couldn't fault his reasoning and smiled at his words of affection.

"Likewise," she told him unable to verbalise her sentiments but feeling them nevertheless. They continued kissing, but it was less intense and more playful than previously. Not being able to trust her wandering hands, Bella threaded them through his hair. Tugging fistfuls of his bronze strands gently, running her fingertips over his scalp and onto the back of his neck.

Edward's journey over her body became chaste and remained over her clothing this time, his hands gliding over her thighs and hips. He learnt that gently tracing the skin on her arm made her roll her eyes back in the same way pushing his erection against the apex of her legs did.

She was stunning and no one compared.

Deciding to give her a foot massage may not have been the best idea because the sounds of appreciation we're very provocative and guttural. He was unsure if Bella realised how much she was turning him on. He kneaded, rubbed and caressed. Bella sighed, moaned and purred. Edward was hard as granite, _again_. Bella was the most relaxed she had been all year.

Gluten for punishment, Edward took his palms further up her leg to her calf muscles. The soft, smooth silk skin a pure treat for his senses - add the audio and he was ready to forget the notion of love and drive full steam ahead with lust for fuel.

The "You made me all sleepy," comment from Bella was enough for Edward to get back with the plan though.

After clearing his throat, he asked her if she wanted a sleeping partner - she could only hum in response and by the time Edward had stripped to his boxers and t-shirt Bella was sound asleep. He cautiously climbed in pulling her against him so they were spooning. Yes, it definitely would not be long before he fell for her completely he thought as pressed his nose through her hair and against her neck.

.

.

Waking up with Edward was far more comfortable the second time round. Hoping to tempt him, she pressed her bottom against him and found herself happily seated against his morning wood.

"_Bella_..." he playfully chastised, but didn't move away - she felt so good.

"Morning wood I mean Edwood," she teased.

He tickled her in response, which just meant she wiggled her butt up against him more, so it was he who had to surrender first.

Propping himself up on his elbow he looked down at her and traced her lips with his pointer finger. She sucked it into her mouth and simulated oral sex. Edward was speechless; his mouth was agape as his breathing increased. Heavy lidded he watched her ministrations.

Bella reached down and rubbed her hand over the cotton of his underwear, against his erection. He gritted his teeth and aimed for something like composure – he failed. Moving his hips against her palm, he tried to internalise his pleasure causing quick bursts of air to shoot down his nose.

Having been allowed this far, Bella moved to a better position and nervously slipped her hand into his boxers. There was no internalising anything now. Edward panted and hummed as Bella gripped him firmly and set an even pace. Moving her thumb over his wet head causing Edward to buck and swear. Biting her lip Bella decided to make this as good as possible, she was clearly getting this right. Cupping his balls, she squeezed and rolled them between her fingers. Her eyes fixed on his face watching what he responded to the most.

Mustering up as much courage as possible, she leaned in and licked the head. More swearing ensued, so she licked some more, up his shaft and over the head whilst still pumping. Edward was holding off not wanting the ecstasy to end, but couldn't and as he came - he soared, his eyes practically crossed as he sucked in the rooms oxygen supply before releases it with a virtually soundless roar.

Bella couldn't help the proud smirk she gave him and Edward just laughed, not in humour but in complete amazement. He'd never felt so good – never, ever. He took in her sexy smirk and produced a face-splitting grin of his own.

.

.

.

A/N Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	19. Simmering

A/N Thanks go to Stephanie Meyer for the cannon and characters.

.

.

.

By midday, Edward was in need of sustenance of the pizza variety and trying to be cute, he suggested Bella Italia.

"Ohh that place is the best plus it doesn't get over crowded." Alice piped up.

"Yes but if it doesn't get crowded doesn't that just mean it's selling crap food?"

"It's underappreciated Bella, the more common folk head for Domino's or Pizza Hut."

Bella laughed at Alice's snobbery, "Since when have you been a pizza connoisseur madam? Huh?"

"I have _many_ talents, just ask Jazz."

"Er... yeah... I'd _rather not_ thanks." Bella cringed, scrunching her nose for effect.

Bella Italia was in the busy Grafton Centre not too far from the cinema. As they were seated at the table an excited discussion about the latest films ensued.

The waiter hovered in a hope to politely gain their attention, as this was unsuccessful he leaned over on opened up their menus and offered them each one so that they had no choice but to make a choice.

Without looking at the waiter Edward asked Bella if she had chosen or would she like more time, Bella grinned at Edward and told him she'd chosen, but asked Alice the same question. Alice cottoned on and told Bella that she had decided and asked Jasper if he had or would he like more time. Jasper umm'd and arh'd before telling Alice he'd like more time. Alice looked at Bella and told her Jazz would like more time. The waiter quickly interrupted telling them he'd come back.

They all burst out laughing. "You do know that he's just going to spit in our meals now don't you?" Bella pointed out. It was a sobering thought and silence fell.

Antonio heard the customers on table 6 laughing at him and he stormed off into the kitchen. He hated his job anyway and the student types that frequented the restaurant. He gritted his teeth though knowing that his contribution to the house bills was what stopped his mother's house from being repossessed.

"Well I'm not eating here now you've put _that_ thought in my head Bella – nice one Edward," she huffed.

They practically sprinted from the restaurant and settled on La Margerita instead a quaint restaurant with a lovely old-fashioned atmosphere. They were given the right amount of time to decide what they all fancied and Edward was extremely polite to the waitress, not wanting to risk his food.

Once their bellies were full and they headed back in to the Grafton Centre so they could watch The Black Swan.

Once the lights dimmed the back row antics began, subsequently the already bizarre movie was lost on the four of them. The only part they had all seen was when one of the women pulled back the skin from the base of her fingernail.

Edward had caught sight of the girl on girl action and had kicked Jasper so he could see it too. Alice scowled at Edward and an oblivious Bella nibbling on Edward's ear, failed to notice the two girl's activity or the interactions between her friends.

.

.

As the guys had all come in one vehicle they all had to go home together but shortly after being home Edward and Bella headed back out into the centre wanting to have a pint.

The Dobblers Inn looked as good of a place as any, so they pulled over on the side road.

Settling into the corner seating whilst Edward headed to the bar, Bella observed a game of darts being played three or four metres away. The player was leaning forward and his tongue poked between his teeth due to his concentration, pulling his hand back and forth a couple of times before finally allowing it to take flight. Bella followed its path, automatically squealing, and clapping when it hit triple twenty.

With raised eyebrows, the men turned and looked at their audience pleasantly surprised by the attractive young woman peering back. Bella was mortified by the attention she garnered and quickly apologised. Thankfully, Edward arrived with the drinks so Bella allowed herself to laugh about it and quickly told Edward of her inappropriate applause. He laughed heartily and felt rather smug that she was with him. He knew those blokes would have given their left testicles to be in his shoes.

Before long Bella offered to go up to the bar, Edward opted for a shandy trying to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum. As she waited to be served, she picked up a tourist leaflet and flicked through it.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the lousy shag that cost me nearly everything."

Frozen in place Bella slowly raised her eyes. She had been hoping she was wrong, but she wasn't. Her first crush was standing in front of her with hate and distain plastered across his face.

Bella was no longer the infatuated little secondary school-girl that she had been and all that she saw was his bitter ugliness. Trying to hide her shock, she straightened up and pushed her shoulders back.

"James," complete with a single nod was the only greeting he was getting. "I'm just here for a drink."

James cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, "I don't know if I should serve you, maybe I should check your ID to confirm you are actually 18. I mean, you could be wanting to... I don't know, _deceive_ me or something."

"Look James, I was young – I just wanted to date you back then. I mean, I didn't intend for us to actually have sex."

"You didn't stop us though did you? You were child, a bloody child and you didn't think to tell me?"

"Well it's not like you asked me James," Bella argued in her defence, "Besides I was out of my league, I'd just turned 15!" Bella had raised her voice slightly so took a steadying breath to regain her control.

"Crap..." James shut his eyes and shook his head from side to side, "I was labelled a bloody paedophile at work – you looked older, like at least 18. You were 15?" Bella nodded and bit the inside of her lip. James suddenly lost the little bit of colour that had been left in his face, "Had you...? Were you a virgin?" He hadn't considered this before, he'd presumed she was some kind of player, the school bike. He hadn't expected her to have been innocent. When she hadn't stopped him and just left afterwards without answering his calls, putting two and two together thought she was putting notches on her bedpost.

"I was."

"I'm sorry." His voice practically whisper as his eyes bulged from his head as he recalled how roughly he'd taken her. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too James, I did a lot of thinking that week and was beyond distraught. I- I was naive enough to think you'd, well..." She shrugged her shoulders. "What did you mean I cost you nearly everything?"

"I was fired," he answered abruptly, but softened his tone as he continued. "I'd beaten the odds to get that job in the first place, but word got around about me screwing a schoolgirl." He was fighting the bitterness, which was difficult as he'd slated her so much in his mind before. "The um... the Boss, well he sacked me, after giving me a kicking that is.

"I've hated you for a long time, it's hard the realisation of what I did to you without knowing."

"I'm really am sorry James." Bella's feeling of guilt increased tenfold as she remembered how she'd admired his work ethics as a young girl. She regretted that her act of vengeance cost him that.

"Yeah well it's actually worked out pretty good – I've been working here a while now and really enjoy it. I hated the factory job so..." he tapered off giving offering her a 'get out of jail free card'.

Giving him a small smile, she asked him if bygones could be bygones -mirroring her smile he agreed and took her order.

She placed the drinks on the table, "You were a while, d'you get lost or something." Bella laughed and shook her head, wanting to tell him about that part of her history but not wanting to dampen the mood between them. Plus she didn't want to give Edward the wrong impression of her either.

"No, I bumped into... an old friend," hoping that Edward would leave it at that she quickly changed the subject and challenged him to a game of snooker.

.

.

.

A/N Should she have told Edward?

Tell me what you think.

Ficturesque x


	20. His Room

A/N Guess what? You guessed it – SM still owns.

.

.

.

Waking up tangled with Edward was an exceptional way to start the day. They had slept in his bed last night and Bella was intrigued by everything around her. His walls were surprisingly bare, apart from a shelf that housed several trophies for what looked like some sort of martial arts. He had an intricately decorated didgeridoo leaning up the wall in the corner of the room. The floor was littered with papers, texts books, clothes, various footwear and the odd sock or two. On his bedside cabinet lay three books, but Bella couldn't see what they were as the spines were facing away from her.

"Taking an inventory?" Edward queried his voice still thick with sleep.

Bella laughed, "Yeah, something like that... what are the trophies for?"

"Shukai Karate, I entered a few competitions for my association."

"Yeah, so did you whoop some butt big guy?" Edward laughed loudly at her terminology.

"Yeah Bella I whooped some butt... and sometimes it was me on the receiving end."

"You don't do it anymore though?" Bella hadn't noticed him slip out wear a crisp white gee.

"No I do, well I intend to anyway – I've not really looked for a local club," he told her whilst scratching at his chest, "but I will when I get five minutes. It's just taking that five minutes seems like such a waste when I could be spending them with you." Edward kissed Bella's cheek and jaw several times, before she rolled into him.

Kissing Edward was always an absolute pleasure, kissing and pressing against him was unimaginably divine. The thought of actually being intimately joined with him will be, well – orgasmic. She smiled at the thought and slid her knee in between his legs.

Seeking out friction became the main objective for each of them and within minutes they both peaked. Their heavy breaths mingled. Their bodies relaxed against each others. Their mouths rejoined in calculated, well placed kisses.

"I need to get cleaned up um... do you want to join me?" He asked hesitantly.

Bella wasn't ready for that much exposure though and declined as reassuringly as possible, "No way! You've got to be kidding me? Naked. Nuh uh. Nope."

"So just to be sure, you're saying no?" Edward teased.

Her blush and timid smile was all the reassurance he needed. "For now."

Grabbing his towel and fresh clothes Edward headed for the shower. With Edward out of the way, Bella went into extreme nosiness and discovery mode.

His books were 'A Bible in a Year', 'The Great Gatsby' and 'Slaughterhouse-Five', not recognising the two of the three she moved swiftly on. Really wanting to open drawers, but not giving into that temptation because she would not appreciate him doing the same back, but everything out in the open she considered fair game.

Lose change, an old train ticket, tissues... a phone number on a piece of paper. A St. Christopher charm on another shelf next to a half empty pack of tic-tacs, an ipod, a gold locket on a chain – Bella opened the locket and found a picture of a gorgeous woman - late teens, long auburn hair; she was sitting on a picnic blanket laughing at the camera. Jealousy clawed its way through her.

"Serves you right for snooping Bella!" she angrily muttered to herself.

There was only the one picture in there, Bella wondered if he'd dated her and if he had why the hell did he still have this locket? Did he still have feelings for her? Was she a rebound? The urge to search his draws was almost overwhelming... almost. Instead she eyed up as much as she could, suspicion and doubt creeping in. She didn't like the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, so she decided she'd sit back in his bed and read some of the 'Bible in a Year' and see if she could find some peace within its covers.

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. "*

Bella laughed under her breath, 'how very apt', she thought.

Just then, the door opened and Edward made his way in, his eyes immediately seeking out hers. He noticed her holding the Bible, "Find something you like?"

She shrugged, "I did found something interesting," she hedged. Edward grinned and lifted his eyebrows in question.

"The locket…" Bella left it at just those two words hoping that Edward would fill in the rest.

His face scrunched up unsure of what she was referring to. Bella stood, reached the locket and passed it to him. Now his face lit up, his eyes sparkled as his carefully moved it between his fingers.

"Yeah…This was my Nan's. The photo is of my mom, she was out on a date with dad and he took the picture. Well, Nan left it to me in her Will." His features were soft as he reminisced. He spent many hours with her when he was younger, going out on day trips, making jam fritters -which he thought was a treat, but his Nan only made them when she had nothing in and needed to go shopping. This particular picture was her favourite one of mom – she'd just found out that she was pregnant with Edward… "There was once a photo of my granddad in it too, but I'm not sure what happened to that."

Edward was faraway in his thoughts.

"You two were close then?"

He nodded, "She was one of my best friends. She was cool, I could talk to her about nearly everything – she never judged or told me off. Most importantly, whatever I told her didn't get passed on to my parents. I felt safe with her you know?"

Relieved and thrilled by what he'd shared with her, Bella was keen to have a few minutes to herself to clean up and berate herself for her foolishness and jealously.

"She sounds lovely, I bet you miss her."

Lifting and dropping his left shoulder Edward wistfully replied, "From time to time, she left a hug hole in my life, but I know I'm lucky I've got some great friends around me. With the addition of one more recently," he smiled and nudged her arm. Bella's whole faced lit up smiling just for him and he was in awe of her. I knew he loved her, but he was still nervous about how she'd cope with his psychosis and thought if he told her how he felt she would feel some sort of obligation to him. So he decided not to tell her yet, he would show her though, at each and any opportunity he could.

Running her fingers affectionately down his arm, she told him she needed to freshen up and that she would meet him downstairs shortly.

.

.

Each of the couples spent the day separately. Alice and Jasper went clothes shopping. Jasper loathed clothes shopping but he knew Alice loved it, so it was worth the sacrifice.

Edward and Bella walked through the local parkland, sharing more of their history and family stories - stopping by the lake to lie down. They enjoyed each other whilst keeping it PG friendly – just about.

Sunday ended with a game of taboo, girls verses boys.

Avoiding using the banned word wood, Alice started with "It is made from a tree."

"Table, chair, cricket bat, skirting, boat-," Bella began.

"You take your body forward one limb at a time over this item." Thinking her wording through carefully Alice had now managed the sentence without saying walk, feet or leg.

"High jump bar, canoe, raft." Edward found Bella fascinating to watch, she had thrown herself completely into the game.

"They're boards that go-"

"Out! Edward screamed, "You said part of the word." Alice had slipped up and said 'boards' trying to describe 'floorboards'.

"Darn it…" she giggled.

Edward was up next. "That word that Alice just said but wasn't supposed to." Bella's jaw hit the floor, but Jasper just smirked,

"Oh I don't know Edward, is the word _board_."

"Yep, there is a word before it though. I'm not allowed to say this word so I'll describe it. There is a tale that the first ever ones that were made were square."

"Wheel?"

"Yup, now what do you have if you put those on the bottom of the first word?"

"A Skateboard!" They both bumped their fists, "We're one seriously talented team. Be ready to lose ladies."

Unimpressed by their Neanderthal behaviour the girls played harder however, by the end of the game the boys thrashed them. There was more of the hand-slapping thing they liked to do, plus pelvic thrusting. Bella rolled her eyes at Alice,

"They always like this?"

"Bella you want to be _grateful_ they won, they are so moody when they lose and don't get me started on the tears and sulking."

"We do not sulk."

Alice grinned, "Notice neither of them denied the crying bit though."

The weekend ended on a high.

.

.

Next the week passed by quickly enough.

Monday – two hours in the library after Uni for Bella, followed by a 3 minute microwave lasagna. Half an hour of making out with Edward.

Tuesday – Edward was poorly and spent the day in bed mostly asleep. Quick visit from Bella but as he didn't want to spread his germs there was no kissing.

Wednesday and Thursday was the same for Edward and Bella. Bella was missing his touch and just wanted to snuggle up to him in bed, germs be damned, but Edward was insistent.

Jasper spent Wednesday and Thursday with Alice at hers, so Bella was extra lonely.

Friday brought with it a much healthier Edward, so they both arrived late for classes as they had been making up for lost time.

.

.

Bella woke up at 5.25am to the sound of the toilet flushing. She quickly darted out of bed onto the landing in time for Edward to be just leaving the bathroom. She hadn't even wasted time to check what she had on – she was wearing a cami-top and her cotton knickers. Edward froze like a rabbit caught in the main beam.

"How you feeling?" Bella asked. She took in his face as he lowered his gaze, only then did she realise how exposed she was.

His voiced was raspy due to underuse, "Much better actually – I'll um… be heading in today." Edward licked his lips and eagerly walked towards her. They were wrapped around each other in seconds. Kissing like their lives depended on it.

The re-familarising took several hours.

.

.

.

A/N The re-familarising will have to wait for the next chapter… lol sorry, kinda – well actually not really.

*The Bible - 1 Corinthians 10 v 13

Jam fritters – my mom used to make them for me and my brothers - jam sandwiches dipped in batter and deep-fried. When mom was broke we'd have them for tea, but we really did see them as a treat.


	21. Helping Hand

A/N Thanks for dreaming up Edward Steph.

.

.

.

It had been a difficult few days being in the same house but not being together. Edward had craved Bella's feather light touches but didn't want her getting poorly either. There were times during those few days when he thought, 'To Hell with it, she could dose up on meds after getting in bed with him'. Bella had been equally as frustrated, just thinking about how he'd touched her previously brought her out in goose bumps and had her crossing her legs in anticipation.

They were not holding back now though.

Pressing together- tongues delving.

Hands travelling, touching, taking pleasure and giving pleasure.

Together.

Wanting.

Needing.

With no thought of closing the bedroom door Bella pushed away from him, pulled her cami-top off and stood before Edward in just her 'Hello Kitty' knickers, her hair still bed messed and knotted. Bare breasts exposed and eager to be caressed and kissed. Her simple cotton underwear dampened by her arousal.

Edward was hungry for her, his eyes drank in every centimetre of exposed flesh. Hard with his desire - his boxers only emphasised this fact. Edward noticed the wet patch on her only item of clothing and he couldn't hold back. He wanted her naked, he needed to bury himself in her scent and suck on her until she went cross-eyed.

His blood was coursing though his veins, his pulse fast and with his mouth salivating he kneeled before her. Placing his hands on both of her hips he hooked his fingers into the elastic and slowly pulled them down.

He admired her.

Bella kept herself well trimmed and was suddenly very grateful of this. She was beyond turned on and wanted Edward to get a move on before she needed super absorbent kitchen towel to dry her legs with.

Bella stepped out of her knickers and trembled as Edward ran his hands back up her calves, behind her knees and up to her ass. He pulled her closer so he could smell her - she was fresh and heady, his erection wept, the pre-cum soaking into his tight grey boxers. Gently pushing against her hips, he lowered her to the bed. He immediately lavished her breasts with attention. Kneading, fondling and pinching at the nipple on one, whilst he lapped, licked and nipped at the other.

Bella had secured him between her legs, crossing her ankles and pulling him closer. Gone were her innabitions as she scratched and clawed at his back. Edward kissed his way down between her cleavage, down her navel. Lifting his head, he kissed her deeply and passionately. Bella was struggling to breathe, as she reciprocated with just as much enthusiasm.

Resting his capable hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye he eased her back so she was lying flat on her back with her legs bent at the knees and her feet touching the floor.

"Please touch me Edward," she pleaded. Without another word, Edward lowered his head and kissed her tummy, tracing her smooth skin with his tongue and nose. He parted her lower lips and dragged his tongue from bottom to top. The gasp from Bella drove him wild. He continued licking her as if he was a man possessed, whirling his tongue, sucking on her clit. Bella was shamelessly rubbing on his face, a hand clutching at his hair the other on the sheet. She was close.

"Edwar-" not able to complete his name as powerful feelings threaded and weaved until her orgasm rushed through her body. "Arhhh!" She gritted her teeth and then panted her way through the overwhelming sensations, pulling her hips back as she became too sensitive. Edward rested his cheek against her stomach until she had gotten her breathing back under control. All he could taste and smell was her and he didn't want to move.

He smiled as Bella began to run her fingers through his hair. He placed a couple of kisses on her navel before looking up at her through his ridiculously long lashes.

"Good?" he smirked and laughed when Bella lazily smiled back.

"Ready for round two?" Her smile vanished as her mouth wordlessly hung open, Edward wasn't really asking though. "Here, get on the bed properly and lie on your front." Bella complied without questioning. Edward removed his underwear and straddled her back, running his hands over her shoulders and down her arms. The groans she was making caused him to ache even more, his erection was beyond painful with need.

Stretching her arms round and groping blindly Bella rubbed his legs, she could feel nothing but hard muscle - she wanted to see him. As she turned onto her back, Edward lifted his weight up but kept his legs either side of her torso. Finally situated so that she could see him she focussed on _him_ and reached forward, running the tips of her fingers along the top and then the backs of her fingers underneath. Edward shut his eyes to close off one of his senses because if he didn't he'd be breaking world records with the speed he'd come.

Taking both his balls in her hand, she rolled them, taking her time as she pressed against his perineum. Watching his face contort, his jaw slacken and his head fall back made Bella more turned on than she ever had been.

Grabbing at his length she pumped him. Edward leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, his laboured breathing indicating just how unbelievably good she was making him feel. Leaning down onto his one elbow, he ran his hand down her side until he reached between her legs. His fingers slipped inside her easily. Edward wanted them to come together but he couldn't hold off anymore. His fingers stilled within her momentarily as he came over stomach. He dragged his lips across her shoulders as he grunted through the last of the pleasure.

He continued pumping his fingers and rubbing his thumb just where she needed him to, she fell over the edge once again – just not with quite the same veracity as earlier. When Edward could longer feel her clenching around him, he pulled his fingers out and popped them straight into his mouth. Releasing them with a pop he told Bella she was delicious.

He watched her cheeks flame and chuckled, "So now you blush?" This only increased her colour. She slapped him playfully as he toppled to the side of her. "Morning gorgeous," he sighed.

Biting her lip, she mumbled, "G'morning," back.

With mock concern Edward asked, "I do believe we're a little late for class Bella, does this concerned you?" Giggling she shook her head.

"Not in the slightest, fancy showering with me?"

Jumping up, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up with him, "You're just full of great ideas today Lovely." They tickled and pawed at each other as they made their way to the bathroom, once again forgetting they did not live alone with their nakedness on full display for each other...

.

.

.

A/N Feeling a bit better anyone? ;)

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	22. Part Of Her

A/N Just playing with SM's guys.

.

.

.

Edward had a busy weekend catching up on the work he'd missed at Uni, one of his mates had videoed the classes for him as well as collecting the handouts. It was a chore. He resented every bloody minute he spent with his nose in a textbook. He'd reluctantly asked Bella to make herself scarce else he'd never have been able to focus – his mind kept drifting as it was. He found himself thinking of all kinds of nasty things in order to calm his crotch.

.

.

Wandering around the open market was pleasant enough - Bella was enjoying the breeze and the banter from the stall owners.

"Hey Love, I've got a lovely bit of meat here for you to enjoy," the cheeky butcher hollered, Bella shook her head and smiled.

"A pound of apples and a punnett of plums just £2.50 to you Sweetheart," the silver haired lady called.

"Can I tempt you with my tasty sweet taters?" Bella politely reclined. She was heading for the vintage clothing stalls.

After rifling through the band t-shirts she squealed as she pulled a Stone Roses tee free. It was a tad tiny for a small – it would fit, but it would be very snug. Paying the heavily made-up Goth-looking woman, Bella went in search of a hot spud stand. It wasn't long before the smell of chilli caught her attention and sure enough the_ Spud the Stud_ van came into view.

Making her way through the bustling crowds was quite a feat and she was jostled and knocked continuously. Surprisingly she was still in one piece when she emerged. The queue at _Spud the Stud_ wasn't any better and she was at the end of her tether when she was almost knocked off her feet by some bloke who full on fell into her.

"Will you be more careful!" she growled, straightening herself up. "What is it was everyone today?" The stranger who had actually tripped over a shopping bag before landing on her wasn't actually a stranger after all. "James?"

James had stood up and was dusting himself down whilst muttering his apologises, "Bella? Blimey sorry Darling, you OK?" Bella nodded and regretted her short temper. "Good, good. So..." James paused as he took her in – he could see how she'd grown up, certain areas weren't as petite any more. He licked his lips, "You here studying at Cambridge then?"

"Certainly am," she noticed his lingering gaze on her chest and added, "The same Uni as my boyfriend." This was disappointing news for James as he would have liked to have gone for round two. Despite the boyfriend situation, he thought he'd like to stay in touch, relationships rarely lasted at this age and he wasn't too proud to be the rebound guy for a few weeks.

"Hey look, I've got to shoot I'm working in a bit – why don't you and your fella come in later and grab a drink?"

"You know, we might just do that, he's not been well for a few days, getting out will be good for him."

"Great. Well then, I guess I'll see you later," he grinned.

Returning his smile, she told him goodbye.

"What you havin'."

Bella had been lost in her thoughts about whether or not she should explain her history with James before Edward met him and had forgotten she was waiting in a queue.

"Cottage cheese and a bottle of Coke Zero please."

Whilst the bloke got her order together, Bella continued to ponder, 'Edward I think you need a night out. The guy I lost my virginity to runs the bar we went to the other week – fancy it?' that scenario didn't look too good, she wouldn't be thrilled if Edward took her to some place his first worked at.

After paying for her lunch, she found herself a bench and people watched as she ate.

In that moment she realised how good life was treating her, she was away from monotony and restrictions of her parents' house, studying at Cambridge largely thanks to the money 'Granddad' Harold left for her. He hadn't really been her granddad, but she had been close to her neighbour. She helped him with his garden since she was primary school age and as she got older, she'd pop in a see him most nights and do him a cup of tea.

When he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer she would spend more time with him after school. Watching him deteriorate before he was finally taken to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital and then to the Hospice. Bella's mom had forbid her to go to the hospital or the hospice saying she didn't think it was the place a young girl should be. Bella hated her mom for it at the time; she still actually held some resentment her for allowing Granddad Harold to die alone. Not wanting to dwell on his death, she thought of Edward.

She was amazed by how quickly he had become such a large factor in her life. She was thrilled and enamoured by him. Her thoughts returned to James, she didn't want secrets from Edward so she decided she would tell him about that time in her life, but wouldn't take Edward to his bar. With that decision made and her jacket potato finished, she continued with her relaxing afternoon.

.

.

Working from the video was much easier than being there in person and had a 97% minimum attendance not been required to stay on the course, Edward would have considered doing this on a permanent basis.

By 5pm he'd finished and was poking around in the kitchen looking what to do for tea, when Bella arrived home.

It had felt like a lifetime since he'd held her so as soon as she was standing next to her he threw his arms around her waist and lifted her off the floor kissing her soundly on the mouth.

Bella loved being with him and laughed loudly at his joviality. "Missed you too Muscles."

"Muscles? Bella my laptop's heavier than you are," his eyes sparkled and told her he loved being with her too.

"Hardly Edward. Did you get caught up your Uni work?" He nodded, he had her lips in his sights and as he placed her back on the ground he took them between his, moaning under his breath as he tasted her tongue. He was convinced he would never tire of her and with this thought in his mind he pulled back and looked down at her adoringly.

"Bella Swan... You are amazing you know that?"

"Is that right Edward Cullen? You're pretty amazing too you know?"

They stood absorbed in each other grinning like the love sick puppies they were basking in the energy vibrating between them.

Tea was a basic risotto with easy conversation. Bella wasn't sure how to get onto the subject of James and concluded that she'd just have to come right out with it.

"Edward, there's something I want to share with you that's a bit awkward for me, but I think it's important." Concern crossed Edward's face.

"Bella you can tell me anything," he attempted to reassure her, but he knew she would see how tense he was, but try as he might he couldn't straighten out his features. He attempted a reassuring smile, but it fell short, well short.

Bella told him about her crush on James when she was at school and how she had manipulated a date with him. Edward _did not_ understand how she could have ever have looked 18 or 19 back then, she barely looked that now and she actually _was _18 – he couldn't hide his contempt for this James guy. Hearing that it was _him_ that she'd lost her virginity to had him bouncing in his seat trying rein in his emotions.

Seeing him react this way is what made her mind up to not tell him that she'd bumped into him today and that he was working locally. She sat watching him as he ground his teeth together as his nostrils flared.

Edward felt physically sick. He'd had sex with half a dozen or so girls, only one had been a virgin and as he recalled _her_ nerves the desire to hunt James down and kick the crap out of him increased. Even with his then limited experience he'd had taken his time with Jess, making sure she was really ready before carrying on. They hadn't loved each other but had dated for a few months when Jess had suggested he be the one.

Once again he compared this with the quick wham bam thank ma'am that the woman before him experienced and he seethed.

"It was three years ago Edward, please... please don't be mad. If I hadn't-"

"Don't make excuses for that piece of-"

The front door banged open as Jasper, Alice and Rose ran through laughing. "Get lost Rose, there is no way I'm doing that."

"Alice." Rose whined, "It'll be fun."

"What will be fun?" Bella asked relieved to be interrupted, she hoped the distraction would calm Edward enough for him to see reason.

"The pyjama party at the local tomorrow night."

"I'm with Alice Rose, what's the fascination with wearing your sloppy Joes out in public?" Rose rolled her eyes dramatically.

"For one Bella, you _do __**not**_wear your 'sloppy Joes' and for two-"

"Shocking Rose, you _can actually_ count?" Edward sarcastically chipped in earning a full on belly laugh from Jasper and dirty looks from Alice and Rose – even though Bella would have loved to have winked at him showing her agreement, she was too apprehensive about his response to her earlier confession to be flirting with him.

Edward didn't miss the lack of acknowledgement from Bella and it twisted in his gut - he couldn't help his reaction to what she'd told him he felt incredibly protective of her, but what he could help is how _he _treated her. He decided as soon as he got a minute with her he would apologise and hope that would be enough.

"As I was saying," Rose continued, "It's an opportunity to wear something skimpy and sexy."

Jasper was relieved Alice didn't want to go out practically naked, only he got to see her goods and he wanted it to stay that way, "Alice is incredibly sexy fully clothed Rose." Alice beamed at Jasper and blew him a kiss.

Curious, Bella asked, "So what will you be wearing then Rose?"

Rose lifted her chin and cocked her eyebrow, "Normally I sleep naked Bella," her eyes flitted briefly to Edward to watch for his reaction to that snippet of information. Edward remained stoic much to her dismay, she wasn't used to men being unaffected by her.

He could see that Rose would look attractive in just about anything, but her personality poisoned her looks and her lame attempt at gaining his attention fell flat.

Bella was positively shocked by how blatant she had just been and wondered if Rose even remembered that she was dating him – if it hadn't been for the limbo she was in with Edward she have marked her territory.

Undermining Bella was definitely _not_ okay with Edward though and he promptly stood, his chair scrapping the wooden floor in the process. Striding over to Bella he took her hand and squeezed it gently, his eyes pleaded with her not to turn him down, "Fancy going somewhere more private?" purposely whispering loud enough to be heard by the whole room, making no room for misinterpretation that this was an intimate relationship.

Quickly nodding Bella bid everyone goodnight and followed her boyfriend to his room.

As soon as his door was shut, Edward closed the distance between them - close but not quite touching, his voice was hoarse with sincerity when he apologised for his outburst. He was barely holding the three little words in; he didn't want to tell her on the back of what she'd told him and after Rose's ridiculous display.

"You're very special to me Bella. The thought of anyone ever hurting you just..." He let his words trail away as his stroked his thumb over her cheek. "You're so special."

Bella placed her hand over his against her cheek and kissed the inside of his wrist, leaning into his palm more she whispered, "You too..."

.

.

.

A/N Those three little words are desperate to come out... and we all know what _that_ means for the lovely couple. :D

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	23. Red

A/N Wish I'd thought of them first, I didn't Stephenie Meyer did.

.

.

.

Finally making it downstairs at nearly eleven Bella was surprised to see Alice already there.

"Morning Ali, I hadn't realised you'd stayed."

Alice sighed and grasped her coffee cup with two hands, "Yes well you were a tiny bit preoccupied from what I could hear when I made my way into Jasper's room." She attempted to hide her grin behind the mug but Bella saw it anyway.

Bella's eyes widened for a moment knowing their private time together wasn't as private as she'd hoped, but she recovered and quipped, "I know, the walls are terribly thin here... I guess that's why some people prefer the kitchen." Incredibly pleased with herself Bella flicked the kettle on and set about making herself and Edward a morning cup of tea and as Bella looked at Alice she couldn't quite put her finger on the shade of red that she had turned.

"Blimey Alice, you're flushed, you coming down with something?"

"She could be Edward," Bella agreed, "But it should settle now she's had a taste of her own medicine." Edward was confused but looking between Bella's smiling face and Alice's twitching mouth as she fought against the smile that was trying to make an appearance, he worked out that he walked into the end of something and that Bella seemed to have the upper hand.

Quickly changing the subject Alice told them both that she, Jasper and Rose were going to go to the pyjama party after all. Alice told them that she was borrowing Jasper's pj top and was wearing a vest underneath and Jasper was going in his bathrobe with shorts and a tee underneath.

"I know she can be a bit _different_," Alice graciously worded, "but she's okay really." Neither Edward nor Bella could agree with her on this one, but they both had missed seeing Alice and Jasper so they agreed to go anyway.

"Brilliant, that's sorted. We'll go in Jazz's car and pick up Rose on the way through."

Edward and Bella enjoyed a day relaxing with each other. There was hardly a minute together when they wasn't touching - whether it was their whole bodies curled around each other as they watched TV or just their toes as Bella washed and Edward dried the dishes.

The day passed too quickly and before they knew it, they had only an hour before Jasper wanted to leave for the 'fancy dress'. Bella had chosen a red satin camisole that just passed her bottom, nearly giving Edward a coronary. She slipped on her flat red pumps and gave Edward a twirl flashing him her matching knickers.

"I'm not a dictator Bella," he started whilst scratching his scalp, "But I just can't... really?" He did not want Bella on full display, he was turned on beyond belief and there was no way he wanted anyone seeing her like that. "Really?"

Thankfully, Bella was just teasing him; she kicked off her pumps and tugged on her skinny jeans. To say Edward was relieved would be an understatement.

Bella helped Edward secure his quilt cover in the style of a sari and stood back to admire her work. "Very fetching." Edward had wanted to wear a t-shirt and shorts underneath but Bella talked him into just wearing the shorts. She quite liked the idea of having full access throughout the evening.

"Just remember this was your idea, if I get any blokes coming onto me I'm relying on you to come and rescue me!" He warned with his pointer finger stabbing away at the air in front of him.

Rose gave Jasper directions to the pub and as they pulled up Bella's heart leapt to her throat -The Dobblers Inn... She closed her eyes and wished hard that James was not working tonight; if he was and Edward put two and two together things could turn ugly.

The place seemed vaguely familiar to Alice, "You know, I _think_ I've been here before," she said voicing her thoughts.

Rose stepped out first and within seconds, the catcalls started. Rose relished the attention and knew the sheer black babydoll with a red bow detail at the front along with the boy shorts and red killer heels would cause a stir, even Alice had been taken by surprise by her lack of... well the list was long – dignity, subtly, sense. Lack of clothes was somewhere in the list too.

Most of the patrons were dressed similarly to Alice and Bella, a couple of women had opted for the slapper look that Rose had, only they paled in comparison to her. With her ample bosoms spilling out of the top and her long lean legs that went on for miles, she stole the show – subsequently earning herself the distain of most of the females there.

Not that the girlfriends and single women's opinions mattered to Rose – she just wanted every man to admire her. Only they didn't want to _just _admire her and she found herself being manhandled several times. Rose could handle herself though and if anyone got too fresh with her - like the young chap whose balls were currently in her hand being squeezed far too tightly found out, she would 'handle' him _or_ her for that matter.

Jasper went up to the bar to get the first round and came back laughing, "Some dude's up there in his granny's nighty – in fact Edward I reckon you and him would get on rather well." Edward gave him the bird and placed his hand high up on Bella's thigh as if to prove his masculinity.

Rose sauntered over to collect her drink and perched herself on the edge of the table so that she could still be admired, making Edward roll his eyes at her vanity.

Bella hadn't relaxed since they arrived and Edward hated that she was so uncomfortable and wished they'd just turned Alice down. He had a few things in mind for later though that would help her unwind and leaned into her ear to tell her his plans.

Constantly on edge since she realised where they would be spending the evening, Bella was distracted when Edward nuzzled her and whispered in her ear. She couldn't enjoy the kisses he placed on her neck, or the caresses elsewhere on her person.

"What's up?" Edward asked her after placing another kiss at the corner of her mouth. He hated the brush off answer of 'nothing' that she replied with. "Bella? Did I do something wrong? Is it the party? Do you want to leave?" Bella looked him square in the face this time looking relieved as she nodded quickly. Edward stood, "Sorry to break up the party so soon guys, but we're off."

"_What?_ Edward don't be a kill joy, let Bella stay longer." Alice hissed.

"It's my choice Alice, sorry..." Alice huffed - her disappointment obvious.

The moment was lost though in the flurry of activity that took place around them as Rose stood up abruptly and started screaming, "What the hell are _you_ doing here _you scum_?" She paced forward towards her target. "Get a kick out of plying girls with drink so that you can have your way with them do you?" she shrieked. The fury vibrating of her skin was palatable as she lifted her fist and punched him straight in his nose. Blood immediately made an appearance – everywhere.

"You BITCH!" James spat, "Get out. Get the hell OUT!" Rose was now flanked by Jasper and a reluctant Edward, he wasn't a fan of Rose, but clearly this guy had done something out of line for her to actually hit him, plus he couldn't sit by if the dude retaliated physically.*

Bella peaked around Edward to see what was happening, "James? Rose what have you done?" Bella dodged around Edward to help James. "You've broken his nose Rose," she exclaimed.

Despite his nose throbbing, James was momentarily waylaid, "Bella, you came..." he marvelled before adding, "You're not with this _bitch_ are you?"

Bella cringed as her nightmare began to unfold and nodded, "She a friend of a friend James."

"Interesting company you keep," he snarkily replied. Bella handed James a tissue hoping she was mistaken about the break.

Edward was only just managing to keep himself in control. He wanted to know who this person was, how he knew Bella and who it was that he had plied with drinks and hoped like Hell that it hadn't been Bella. The letch vibes he was giving off had Edward wanting to move Bella away – far away.

Alice then made an appearance at the same time as Edward placed his hand at the base of Bella's back. James noticed Edward's claim on Bella but ignored him completely, "I think I need to sit down, help me Babe?"

Even though she had been taken aback by his term of endearment, she pushed it to the back of her mind as her concern for him outweighed her alarm. Helping him to a seat, she turned and asked Edward to call an ambulance.

"How do _you_ know this filthy git then Bella? 'Cause if you _are_ friends I really think you should be more careful about who you mix with 'cause _he_-" Rose bit her lip as she realised Alice may not have told Jasper what had happened and she didn't want to cause trouble between them.

"He what Rose?" Edward interjected wanting to know more than ever who this bloke was. The crowd surrounding them were looking on in anticipation.

"Nothing..." she answered backing down.

Edward turned to his girlfriend hoping to find an answer, but she was fawning over this James' bloody nose. Pulling out his mobile, he called for an ambulance.

When the crowd realised the drama was over they continued with their drinks and resumed their conversations.

Trying to be casual, Edward asked Bella how she and James had met. Bella didn't answer immediately giving James the perfect opportunity to wind up the boyfriend.

"We dated briefly." Things were starting to set in place for Edward.

"When?" James mistook Edward's tone for one of jealousy and straightened shoulders to reply,

"About three years-" If James' nose wasn't broken before, it certainly was now that Edward's fist had made contact too.

"You _are_ filth!" he seethed. "Damn it, she was 15 you sick-" Edward was pushed to one side. Whilst Edward and James had been playing _getting to know you_, Rose had reminded Alice who James was. Alice had recalled a name after the night, but couldn't picture him due to how drunk she'd been. The force with which Alice shoved Edward made him stumble into a table.

With her hands on her hips, Alice began her tirade, "I came here for a drink that night, _James_. I should not have had to worry about the bartender trying to feel me up and take advantage of me." When Alice moved forward Jasper had followed, hearing the words, 'feel me up' and 'take advantage' coming from the love of his life was enough for him. He moved forward, lifted James to his feet and head butted him.

A couple of the female bartenders had come to see what was happening and once they saw the angry women and furious blokes with James covered in blood and bruises they just laughed and walked back to the bar.

The ambulance crew arrived and were shown to their patient, who was slumped down and half dazed. Looking at the people gathered the paramedic asked what had happened, one by one people shrugged their shoulders and turned their backs.

James was taken away in the ambulance and the party continued as if nothing had happened. A couple of minutes later one of the women from the bar came over to Rose's table with a tray of drinks. "On me folks," she smiled, "Couldn't have happened to a nicer man."

Bella looked guiltily toward her friends her eyes resting on Edward's.

"Come here," he encouraged. Edward opened his arms for Bella and was grateful when she stepped into them. He held her close.

"Edward I-" Bella was in turmoil and wanted to explain, she didn't want Edward to have any doubts about her.

"Shhh it's alright," he cooed as his kissed her hairline, "I trust you completely; you don't need to explain anything."

His words of confidence in her even though what he had seen had obviously been confusing for him, inadvertently broke down the barrier that was holding those tiny, but mammoth, words back. With her cheek against his chest, she told him she loved him, her words of devotion drowned out by the music and chatter.

.

.

.

A/N She said it, she told him she loved him, but darn it he didn't hear...

*This is for the purpose of the story, this is not my opinion. If a woman hits a bloke in this way, she should face the consequences. Harsh – maybe, but women who beat men are just as bad as men who beat women!


	24. Empty

A/N Twilight characters and cannon belong to Stephenie Meyers.

.

.

.

The weeks continued.

Get up.

Uni.

Study.

Go to bed.

Get up.

Uni.

Study.

Go to bed.

The weekends were marginally better; having a couple of hours allocated for each other on both days. Bella never repeated _those_ words again and Edward never declared them either.

Edward was weighed down by his course and was wondering if he'd taken on too much. He put in the extra hours going over the work hoping it would sink in, it didn't – he was starting to feel sick because of it. His sense of failure was making him miserable and he tried to keep it from everyone, especially Bella.

Bella wasn't doing too much better either, but for other reasons – she just didn't find her chosen course interesting. Every day it bored her to tears. She couldn't tell anyone though because everyone was so proud of her, their Bella at one of the best universities.

It was putting a strain on them, when they were together they were both trying to be just 'peachy' for the other. The constant faking was wearing on them.

Alice was in her element; she loved her work, loved her house and loved Jasper. Jasper took everything in his stride, he had it all – he only needed Alice.

Rose had been quiet since the James debacle. She heard through the new manager that James' nose had been so badly damaged that it had needed an artificial 'bone' for scaffolding. He had resigned from The Dobblers Inn without notice. Emmett, the new manager, told Rose that it had been an act of the Gods that he had phoned for a job when he did. After his initial phone interview and a subsequent 'on the job' interview where the owner observed him for a several hours whilst he worked, he was offered it. Three-month probation - immediate start. The post came with the accommodation above the pub and was perfect for Emmett. Seeing Rose in _his_ bar was the icing and the cherry on the top of his cake and he definitely wanted more than a bite.

He admired her feistiness and strength. She'd put him in his place and he just loved being there. She was a regular, always alone with her laptop and papers. When the bar was quiet, he'd join her and talk until she'd shut the laptop lid and slate him for disturbing her, but she would always came back the next day.

What Emmett didn't realise is that Rose had just happened to pop in on his second day and only became a 'regular' because he was there.

On the last day on before half term Bella was invited to a house party at Anna's, they weren't what you'd call close friends, but they had paired up sometimes to work together and occasionally did lunch. She knew she needed to have a good night out and was pretty sure Edward would feel the same, so she accepted.

"Just bring some alcohol with you, but the invite's only open to you and your chap okay?" Understanding Anna's concern about numbers, Bella nodded.

"Of course, see you later."

Bella nipped into the Outdoor and bought a couple of bottles of wine and a dozen cans of larger before heading home.

The house was silent so she figured she was home alone and popped the drinks in the fridge. Noticing a couple of things from breakfast still in the sink, she made quick work of sorting it out. She was just about to go into her room when she heard movement in Edwards. They usually would come down and say hi when the other came home, she thought maybe he hadn't heard her come in.

A quick knock on his door and she pushed it open. Edward kept his back to her as she walked in. She placed her hands on his shoulders and began massaging as she leaned down and kissed his temple.

Edward was fatigued and wanted nothing more than to sleep for the entire week, but he couldn't afford the time. If he was to stay at Uni he would need to dedicate his whole holiday to keep on top. His head slumped back against Bella's chest.

She noticed how pale he was, the dark circles under his eyes, his skin was dry and flaking on his cheeks – it was as if she was seeing him for the first time in weeks. She questioned how she had not noticed this until now.

She thought back over the last fortnight or so, their missed tea slots, Edward out at the library, her falling asleep by nine on the settee waiting for him to come back only to wake with a blanket on her in the early hours.

It was clear how she had missed this. He needed to get out she concluded.

"We've been invited out tonight, a house party of one of the girls from Uni, fancy it?" Fully expecting him to jump at the chance, she was surprised when he shook his head.

"Come Edward, you've been slaving away every night, surely you can afford to come out this once?" she reasoned.

"I said NO!" Edward immediately regretted his anger and apologised explaining he had a heavy workload, he attempted to appease her saying he would leave room for her to join him in bed when she got home.

"I'll stay in, keep you company," she offered as she ran her hands down over his chest to his stomach. Edward stopped her progression, holding her hands in his.

"As appealing as that sounds, I really do have a lot to do. You go out, take Alice."

She nodded as tears pricked her eyes. Even living together afforded them no time. They needed to spend time together if this was going to work and time was something Edward seemed to be really lacking. She wondered if he had gone off her and didn't know how to end it as they lived together.

Guilt hit Edward as he saw her tears form, another thing to fail at he thought bitterly to himself. He swivelled round in his chair and stood in front of her. He felt defeated. He felt his own eyes water as he looked at her, "I'm sorry." Placing his forehead against hers, he shut his eyes, which forced his tears to fall.

Holding him against her tightly Bella hoped that they _would_ make it. He had her heart.

They clung to each other for a while before Edward released her. She was the best thing in his life and he was hurting her with his failure, taking hold of her face in his hands he poured everything he had into the kiss. Their tears mingled as their fear, desperation and need rose to the surface.

"Ever heard of shutting the door you two?" Jasper teased as he walked passed, neither of them had heard him come home, his interruption had broken what was building between them.

Placing a kiss on her nose Edward wiped her tears. "Go and enjoy yourself, I'll be here when you come back. I'll _make_ time tomorrow - I promise."

"Okay... Edward?" she paused too afraid to say what she wanted so instead of telling him she loved him she told him she wouldn't be back late.

When she closed the door after herself, he fisted his hair. "Damn it!" he cursed under his breath. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and he was unable to take a breath that was satisfying enough for his body. He was helpless to the panic attack as it gripped him. Quickly reaching his window, he opened it wide and gasped at the chilled air.

.

.

.

A/N Outdoor is an Off Licence.

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	25. Unfocussed

A/N As much as I want EC he's still SM's

.

.

.

Try as she might she just couldn't get into the party mood, so sat with a bottle of wine in her hand and proceeded to drown her sorrows.

"Budge up." Garratt's friendly face loomed over her. Her returned smile was genuine and she scooted to the end of the settee. "No boyfriend tonight?" She shook her head and tried really hard not complain about their sorry excuse for a relationship.

"Nope, just me on my lonesome, as usual." It didn't take a genius to work out her mood and Garrett _was_ a genius. He was in his final year and was the currently in talks with some of the top surgeons discussing plans for when he finished.

"Not anymore Sweetie!" He raised his beer bottle and tapped it against hers.

She enjoyed his company and even found herself disclosing her dissatisfaction about her chosen career path. He gave her valuable advice and suggested she talk with the Dale Scullers one of the professors. Bella downed more of the wine and soon finished the bottle.

Anna had chosen her guests well and there had been no trouble. The music pumped out and the alcohol flowed, before too long Bella was up dancing with Garrett and a few others that she knew. She laughed and danced into the early hours forgetting that she'd told Edward that she'd be home early.

Garratt's brother was the nominated driver in his group and he offered to give Bella a lift home. As his car was already full Bella sat on Garrett's lap sideways with her legs sprawled out on Peter and Simeon's laps. The jovial atmosphere was in full swing and they were all singing Michael Jackson's 'Bad' with Peter interjecting 'who's bad' and going off on a tangent in his gangster style rapping.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at Bella's where she constantly thanked everyone for a great night as she stumbled out of the car. Garrett attempted to guide her to her door but could barely walk straight himself. Giggling and drunk whispering -which isn't actually whispering at all. Bella shushed everyone, her finger attempting to touch her lips.

"My Ed's ashleep... shhhhhhh!" Garrett was giggling as Bella hunted her pockets for her keys even though she had just given them to him to hold. She looked up and saw her keys in his hand, "Therrre day are!" she hiccupped, "Where'd ya find dem?"

All the noise had woken Edward up; despite his worry for Bella exhaustion hit him hard like it always did after a panic attack. He could hear Bella and several male voices and his thoughts went to a bad place. His eyes narrowed and fury took over. He dragged himself to the window and watched as Bella slid out of the car and how she her hand gripped at some blokes leg to help herself up. His nose crinkled and upper lip curled as he watched her and this same bloke getting all lovey dovey over each other.

His knuckles whitened and his teeth clenched, he swallowed his bile and stormed to the front door. Bella was caught unawares as the door swung open and she fell through landing on her hands and knees in front of Edward. He was appalled by her, she was drunk and even though she had slept with all these men she had the gall to come home laughing with all the guys in tow.

Bella rolled on her back and continued laughing lifting her hand she waved feebly. Garrett smiled widely at Edward and zig zagged his way back to the car. Edward glared holes into the back of his head.

Looking at Bella as she got to her knees he realised what they had wasn't so special after all. Who else was she having sex with, Jasper? James? Was it just one orgy after another? She was screwing everyone, except him of course.

"Get up!" he snarled. In Bella's drunk daze she thought he was going all dominating on her and complied, well sort of, using the wall to keep her vertical she leaned against it, leaving just enough room so that Edward could finally close the cheery yellow door. It slammed and the clock vibrated and crashed to the floor.

Grabbing at her arm, he pulled her through to the living room. "You whore, you good for nothin' whore!" phlegm projected from his mouth with the veracity of his anger. "I actually loved you and _this_ is your game. Are you charging for your services Bella, was I a freebie? Are you screwing Jasper behind Alice's back? Hell is Alice in on this, are you guys into threesomes?" His arms were flaying his face still twisted.

Bella sobered up pretty quickly, her thoughts were not quite clear as she tried to focus on Edward. What on earth had gotten into him? That's when it dawned on her – he had been so stressed and exhausted earlier it had obviously bought on another episode.

"What's the matter Bella? Don't tell me you feel guilty for making a fool of me?" he laughed. Bella tried to reach for him but he pushed her arms away, "Don't touch me. You make me sick, do you know that?"

"Edward you know I haven't been sleeping with anyone. I only want you. Please, just come to bed – we'll talk in the morning." His eyes were full of fire and rage, his smirk was nasty.

"Do I get to find out what I've been missing out on, huh? You gonna let me have another freebie? Lick that pussy of yours?" His vulgar term and venom distorted him, but she knew he had no control over his thoughts at that time and focussed on the Edward inside that she loved – and he loved her, he'd just said so. She had wanted to hear him say those words; she had imagined him declaring his love on a walk in the park, over a picnic perhaps – not like this, with hate and regret. Nevertheless, he had said them and she knew he had meant them.

The last thing she wanted was to have sex with him like this, but she wouldn't fight him – she hoped the connection would help him to 'find' himself. Even though she thought her second time would be gentle and beautiful because it would be with Edward - the man she loved. She could accept rough and out of control with him - after all she given more to James. This, _this_ _was_ Edward. She psyched herself up.

"I wouldn't touch you Bella," he sneered, "You're probably riddled with disease." She was relieved because she hadn't wanted their first time to be like this, she knew once Edward was back in control he would regret his actions – but the pain from his rejection hurt.

She felt helpless standing there unable to hold him, to reason with him. She wanted to be the one to help him through this; she had stupidly thought that her love would somehow cure his illness. That he would be so happy and so in love that that would be enough.

"Edward?" she whimpered, "Edward I love you... I would NEVER hurt you."

He scoffed, "You love me? Do you tell all your clients that? Do you tell them before or after they pay you?" He began to pace the room, muttering under his breath, shaking his head. His jerky movements almost robotic as his hands went to his hair, the back of his neck, over his face. With him distracted, Bella was able to quickly text Jasper, _Edward's ill, help me!_

"I'll get you a drink." She needed an excuse to leave the room and just think. She should have done more research, she shouldn't have stayed out late, she shouldn't have gotten drunk. Blaming herself didn't actually make the situation any better she found. She remember Jasper had told her she just needed to be there for him, she berated herself as she stood in the kitchen as at her first opportunity she'd left him on his own. She made her way back in the room. Edward was sitting in the chair, his eyes were darting around the room.

She made her way over to him likening his skittishness to a wild deer now that he'd calmed. Placing the plastic beaker of water on the table she picked up the blanket from the side, she placed it over his shoulders, just like he had done for her many times recently when she had fallen asleep waiting up for him.

Would he remain calm? She hoped so.

.

.

Shouting startled Bella awake, Edward's aggressive words loud and demanding, "Call yourself a friend Jasper? Screw all your mate's girlfriends do you? Sneaking in here for another pop at her? Help yourself, but make sure you wrap it up man!"

Jasper wasn't fazed by Edward - he glanced sympathetically towards Bella remembering how he felt when he was alone with him when he was 'ill' for the first few times.

"Let's talk about it Edward, sit down." Jasper remained calm and attempted to pacify him.

His tirades continued into the night, he kicked the chair and punched the wall – cutting open his knuckles when Jasper suggested that Bella should go to bed, not that she would have gone anyway.

Having fallen into a fit full sleep in the armchair Jasper and Bella discussed the situation.

"Just _try_ and sleep Bella, he needs you rested and in control – if you're knackered you're not going to be able to handle this." She looked over at Edward and allowed her emotions to surface and as the tears slipped down her cheeks, she nodded.

"If he wants me, come and get me though. Okay?" Jasper agreed and as soon as she left, he lay down himself so he could catch forty winks.

.

.

They all slept well into the afternoon.

Having not heard from Jasper Alice grabbed some baguettes, cheese and salad from the supermarket and headed to his house. Quietly letting herself in she took in the scene around her and tiptoed through to the kitchen to make up the baguettes knowing they'd probably not eaten since this all started last night.

She felt better being there. She hadn't wanted to stay away but Jasper had insisted, using the same reasoning on her that he had with Bella. She sat down at the table and picked at her late lunch as she listened to the light snores coming from the two men that she loved the most.

.

.

.

A/N Will Bella be able to cope with him? His episodes have been more frequent than usual...

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	26. Dark Days

A/N You know Stephenie Meyer – well Twilight is hers.

.

.

.

Stretching her stiff limbs, Bella glanced out of her window – smoky grey clouds drifted by and the sun reflected off the liquid bubbles left on the window, splitting the light to create the rainbow of colours that she loved.

Her peace didn't last long as memories of earlier that day resurfaced, breaking the tranquillity. She almost dreaded stepping out of her room. Would he still be the raging stranger? Warily she bid goodbye to her haven.

Two bodies were deep in slumber, Edward still in the chair and Jasper, looking far more comfortable, lay drawling on the three-seater.

Padding across the floor avoiding the creaky boards she entered the kitchen. In her efforts to be as quiet as possible she hadn't noticed Alice, so she let out an ear piercing scream – which of course woke the two sleeping beauties.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Wired much?" Bella stood hand on heart shaking her head.

"For the love of all things holy Alice – of course I'm soddin' wired!" Her responding chuckle made Bella smile. She was thrilled to see her friend after everything today.

"You okay hun?" Alice seemed to be scrutinising her.

"Yes..." Bella responded slowly, "Are you checking me out Alice, got the hots for me have you?"

Edward made an appearance in the doorway. Bella tensed as Alice's attention diverted.

"How you feeling?"

"Like total crap." He moved around Bella not even acknowledging her. She looked to Alice and raised her eyebrows in question. She wasn't filled with optimism by the shrugged shoulders she got in return.

Filling his glass with tap water Edward knocked back the pills in his hand. He was in a lousy mood and he had the mother of all headaches. His pain was almost unbearable, "I'm gonna lie down – keep the noise down will ya?" Once again, he walked straight past Bella, crushing her heart even more.

Once he was out of earshot, Alice tried to reassure Bella,

"He probably doesn't even remember anything right now Bella."

She wasn't reassured.

"If that was the case, he'd have hugged me, or kissed me as he passed. Not blank me!" she worriedly answered. "He must still me hate Alice and I can't stand it. You know, he even accused me of having a flamin' threesome with you and Jasper!"

Alice burst out laughing but quickly attempted to rein it in when she saw Bella's straight face. "Um, sorry – look, it'll be fine. Once it's over he'll be as he was before, you'll see. Now shift out of my way, there's a hunk in there that I need to wake up."

Wanting to be closer to Edward, Bella went to her room. Just one brick width stood between them, but it may well have been an ocean.

Although Bella had slept most of the day, it wasn't long before her eyes grew heavy again. Lying down on top of her quilt cover, she stared at her ceiling.

It had been draining. It had hurt. It was scary. It was worth it.

Her last thought came out more like a question because if their relationship carried on as it had been she wasn't sure if it actually was worth it and as sad as that fact was – it was just that, a fact.

.

.

Whilst sitting in his mood pit he ripped little pieces of paper up, balled them and made an ever-growing pile on his bedside cabinet. After an age, he scooped them up and lay on his stomach across the floor. The one by one he flicked the tiny paper balls at his wall, his force so great that many rebounded back. He began mulling over his latest episode as parts came back to him.

In some ways, it was like a dream. The ones when you have a nightmare that a loved one beat you up and when you wake it's difficult to put the dream behind you and some of the resentment lingers until you carrying on with the normalcy of your day. He knew there was no reason to be angry with Bella; she hadn't actually had sex with every male in a six mile radius, so he continued to work through his emotions.

Flick.

Flick.

Then there is the self-hatred. Recalling the pain in her face was especially hard. He was thankful now that she had somehow contacted Jasper so at least she hadn't been on her own the whole time.

Flick.

Pressure from everywhere - everything was too much. One thing he knew for sure and that was he was dropping out of Uni – he couldn't carry on another half term like this let alone the next few years.

Flick.

And Bella?

Flick.

Flick.

Flick.

.

.

Alice hugged Jasper hard. "Was it a bad one?" He pressed his mouth against hers as he walked her towards the wall.

"All good now my Love."

"Come back to mine?" she sucked his bottom lip before slowly releasing it, "Rose's staying at a _friend's_ so we can be loud." Her voice was full of promise.

"Lead the way woman, lead the way..."

.

.

Edward was now perched on the floor outside Bella's bedroom – he'd opened the door, but felt like he would be taking too much of a liberty to go in. So he just sat there and watched her. Her beautiful face was relaxed apart from the muscles above her nose, which bunched together. Her soft lips were parted slightly, her arms hugged around her ribcage and her knees were pulled up.

With nothing to flick he chewed at his nails.

As his fingers became sore, his butt grew numb, but he didn't tire of looking at her.

Bella's mobile rang out, the ringtone she had set to signal a text. She stirred, mumbled and rolled over. Another text set her ringtone off again, this time she woke. Edward suddenly realised how freaked out she might be by him just sitting there, watching her, but it was too late to do anything now. Their eyes met.

"Ed-" Her voice was groggy having just woken up, so she cleared it before starting again, "Hi," she offered instead.

"Hey." Pausing for just a moment he added, "Your um... phone, it rang, you've got a couple of messages by the sounds of it."

With her eyes still on Edward she patted around on the top of her bedside cabinet until she found it. Dragging her eyes away from his she propped herself up and glanced down at her cell. _Two messages._

The first was a photo, she opened it – it was a picture of her at Anna's house party sitting in the middle of the settee with a face on her that looked like she'd just been told she had a week to live. The caption read, '_Not worth it Bella - luv Anna. x x_'

The second text was also a photo, but this time she was dancing; her head was thrown back in mid laugh. The caption that came with it was, '_You're 18, enjoy life!_'

Sliding her phone shut, she looked tentatively back at Edward.

"I needed..." he closed his eyes, when he reopened them it was with determination, "I needed to see you... I love you Bella."

Furrowing her brows, Bella looked down into her lap. She knew he loved her, she wondered if he remembered saying it yesterday.

He awkwardly stood up his joints clicking having been rigid for so long, "Bella...?"

She finally answered him, "I _need_ more Edward."

.

.

.

A/N I think these guys need a hug, any offers?

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	27. More

A/N Not mine.

.

.

.

His beautiful smile was not what she had been expecting.

His green eyes were mesmerising.

She studied his mouth as his tongue peeked out and licked his lips, wetting them so that they shined – appetising. Seeing the hunger in her eyes gave him hope and confidence, something he didn't have whilst he'd watched her sleeping earlier. Then, he had been making the most of seeing her, he didn't know if he'd get the chance to again, but now, now he had hope – he was stepping out of the shadow.

"Get your gorgeous ass out of bed; we're going out for breakfast."

.

.

Sitting opposite Edward in McDonalds with a sausage and egg McMuffin and a large Coke Zero, made for an excellent start to the day. She wanted every day to be like this, but she knew it wouldn't last – he was always too busy, too wound up, too stressed. Not today though - today he looked ridiculously happy and thankfully, it was contagious.

He reached across the table and ran his fingers over her hand. His smile ever present.

"We have the whole week Bella, what do you fancy doing?" She blushed as she thought _you_. Edward grinned at her reaction, which deepened the red on her cheeks more and she shuffled embarrassed in her seat.

Focussing on her McMuffin, Bella took a bite. Chewing was difficult as her mouth had dried up at the thought of 'doing things' with Edward. Sucking on her straw caused Edward to squirm in his seat. Edward rubbed his jaw in an attempt to look casual, despite the fact she was indeed killing him.

"We could go camping if you like – I'd have to nip to my parents to grab the equipment... I think it'd be fun."

Sharing a tent with Edward really did sound fun.

"M'kay. Any ideas where?"

"I've a few places in mind – there's a lovely little place in Wales called Cardigan. It's right by the beach or there's the Lake District – we could find somewhere pretty isolated if you'd like. Or we could go somewhere more local," he suggested.

"The Lake District sounds good." Several days isolated with Edward sounded so much better than good.

Edward immediately pulled his phone out and dialled, "Hi Mar. Yeah I'm good... She did?

"Well like I said – I'm good. Say Mar, can I pop over in a couple of hours and collect the camping gear? No, no, the three-man will be fine... Great. I'll see you in a bit then... You too. Bye.

"Fancy a road trip with me, or shall I drop you off first?"

"Road trip, but I need to pop back home to grab some stuff."

They chatted excitedly about their trip. Bella had never been to the Lakes and even though it had been a while ago when Edward went with his Dad, he spoke animatedly about his time there. Him and his Dad – boys bonding time. He hoped that he and Bella could do a little bit of bonding too, which it why he turned down his mother's suggestion of the nine-man tent, 'It has living space Edward," his mom had pointed out – he did not want 'living-space', he wanted small and cosy.

Checking the weather forecast was essential for Bella because she wanted to be prepared, after all this was England and even though it didn't flag up rain, she still packed her cagoule and wellies. Along with shorts, two pairs of cargo trousers, two jumpers, vests tops, a t-shirt, two pairs of sandals, socks and undies all went in her hold all as well as several towels and toiletries. She needed to grab something from Alice too, just in case. Thankfully, Alice had just what she needed and those were packed as well.

Edwards packing was a much simpler affair, shorts, t-shirts, a jumper and flip-flops; he'd wear his walking boots now, he also popped several pairs of boxers, socks and one towel in. His hold all still had plenty of space so he put various tins and camping stove foods in there. Forty-five minutes later and they were bidding their friends goodbye. Alice hugged Bella hard then turned to Edward, once Bella was out of earshot she warned him not to mess it up.

"I'm trying Alice, I really am."

"I know," she agreed, "You two need this."

"Hey Bella?" Jasper called after her, "Make sure you check your sleeping bag I had a fish in mine the once, didn't I _Edward_?" He gave Edward a pointed look.

"I know- that was just plain bad luck Jasper, of all the places..." Jasper cocked his eyebrow and pursed his lips, Edward just grinned.

"Well if that happens to me _Edward_ just know that I'll be swapping my sleeping bag with yours, are we clear?"

"As crystal my dear, as crystal."

Alice laughed encouragingly at the couple, "She certainly has you sussed, Edward," she said as she playfully slapped his arm with the back of her hand.

The journey to his mom's would take just over two hours. Before pulling off he looked over at Bella, she saw him in her periphery and turned towards him. Moving slowing to make his intention clear he leaned in and placed a single lingering kiss on her lips. He pulled away just a fraction,

"Love you."

They rubbed noses for a second before he pulled away and started the engine.

Once Bella had selected a CD, she placed her hand on his thigh and squeezed it before telling him she loved him too.

There was a comfortable silence in the car for a little while as they both took in the enormity of their trip. This would _hopefully _repair the damage long study hours and stress had caused. Bella hoped it would be the more she needed and Edward hoped he would be enough, he didn't just love her – he was in love with her.

During his most recent psychotic episode he was convinced she'd been sleeping with every man in sight and it had hurt, deeply, but the beauty of that is he understood his feelings clearly and he did not want to lose her. He knew she probably didn't have the depth of feelings that he had, but he hoped that in time they would be inseparable.

Admiring the countryside whilst being next to Edward brought immense peace to Bella and the small smile on her face brought peace to Edward. The roads were fast moving and even though there was the occasional speed restriction, they remained clear of any build-up traffic.

"So did your parents buy your car for you? I mean a Volvo S80 seems a tad out of most eighteen years olds reach."

Edward laughed, "I admit I've been spoilt with this, I had a trust fund that matured when I was eighteen; my grandparents set it up for me when I was born -I didn't even know about it until a few weeks before birthday, can you image that? 'So son'" his said, doing a deeper voice that supposedly sounded like his Dad, "What d'you think you'd spend a hundred grand on if you had it?'

" I thought he was being hypothetical, so I was all I'd 'ave some crazy party, then take half a dozen mates to Ibiza... I'd go buy myself a motorbike..."

Bella was amused by his frivolity but thought it was sweet that he'd include his friends in his windfall.

"Yeah, so then he told me about the trust fund – I didn't believe him and phoned my Nan." Edward gave Bella a quick side-glance, her beautiful eyes were focussed completely on him, brilliant and glowing with interest and intrigue. The breeze through the open window was causing her hair to blow around her face and it caught in her mouth. Her hand lifted to pull the strand away.

'Her lips... lips that were kissable, plump, moist – his,' he thought. He lost track of what he was saying and only then remembered he should have been watching the road.

"Sorry," he apologised bashfully, "Erm..." then he chuckled, "What was I saying?"

Bella bit her lip and her chest constricted, she adored him and she'd forgotten. Life had made her forget, she was going to enjoy remembering.

"Something about phoning your Nan..." she prompted, trying to hide the teeth bearing smile that wanted to cover half her face.

"Mmmm. So yeah," he continued with his eyes forward, "She confirmed what he'd said saying her and Gramps wanted me to have a head start.

"Knowing it was for real got me thinking more seriously and I booked a driving crash course, spent the first six months in an old banger just to get some road experience before I got this baby." He pride was evident and even though he'd said he was spoilt he didn't take it for granted.

"What about your car, birthday present for the rich kid?" he teased.

"Not quite." She told him about her neighbour, it felt good talking, getting to know each other. The conversation flowed - it was easy, natural. She admired his profile as they chatted, watched the tendons in his hands and arms as he shifted gears and clenched the wheel.

His thigh muscles flexed underneath her hand as his foot moved on and off the clutch. Deep breathing helped her self-control a teeny bit... she squeezed her thighs together as discretely as she could – just not discretely enough, Edward spotted her movements.

He had been hard since practically the second she'd placed her hand on his thigh, but he was pleased they were both in the same place now.

He reached across and put his palm on her leg just above her knee, but Bella was so aroused and sensitive that his touch made her gasp. Edward gulped a few times, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. Shaking her head Bella laughed not because the situation was funny, it was far from it – the sexual tension had raised to the _n_th degree, she had laughed because she was just incredulous. Not only was he funny and interesting, but he was so visually stimulating too. She let her head fall against the headrest in frustration and forgot subtle and just crossed her legs – moving her hand from Edward's thigh and slipping it between hers, high enough to press against her _there_.

Edward took a deep breath; filling his cheeks with air, his exhale was shaky. _Roll on tonight_ he thought as he gulped another lung full of air.

"Can you um... pull over when you get a chance please?" she whimpered.

Edward's lungs emptied in a sudden whoosh as he nodded and gritted his teeth to try and keep some semblance of control.

Four freakin' miles of motorway before they came across a lay-by. The longest 16 ½ minutes of both of their lives.

Edward had barely turned off the ignition before Bella hopped out of the car and disappeared behind the bushes. Edward laughed with exasperation at his foolishness thinking that Bella had actually needed relief of a different kind - not to pee. He willed his erection to go down, but it was like a monument – it wasn't going anywhere.

"Edward!" Bella shouted, "What are you waiting for? Get over here." There was no need for her to ask twice.

He wanted more than to just make out – but for one he didn't have any condoms and two it's not quite how he pictured their first time. The field, yeah maybe, but a quickie on the side of the motorway? Nah, definitely not.

Bella's eyelids were heavy and her breathing was rapid and if that wasn't just the sexiness thing Edward had seen in his whole life. His jaw slackened as he walked determinedly towards her. Their kisses were pure desperation, desire. Bodies and limbs pulling and pushing, grabbing and grinding.

Bella's hand rubbed him over his shorts, his hips rocked forward, more, more, more. He nipped her lip between his teeth and pulled. His hand found her sweet spot and he pressed and rubbed her. Heavy breathing and groans filled the air. It wasn't enough, the pressure the pleasure – just not enough. They each undid the others button and fly. His firm hand skimmed her soft curls, he carefully but keenly pushed in two fingers. Bella's movements paused as she fell against him. Her wetness dripped.

More.

Keen to reciprocate she pulled _him_ free wrapping her hand tight over his taught skin. Sliding her curled fingers and thumb, up and down, up, down, up more pressure, down. She continued as they both quivered.

They were oblivious to the cars and trucks commuting the other side of the thin plantation.

Just each other - each other and pleasure. Breathy cusses and revered words of devotion.

Leaning against the other, totally reliant on the other as their bodies climbed to peak. Closer. More.

"So good Bella – so..."

"I'm close."

"Me too... Bel- arhhhh."

"Ed, Ed, Ed," she panted, "Mmahhh...yeahhh... mmmmm."

Weak kneed but sated. Damp, messy but relieved. Breathless. Awed. Satisfied.

Breathy laughs and nuzzling.

Unable to bear the stickiness Bella asked him if he happened to carry hand wipes in his car.

Edward nodded - his cheeky grin and hooded lids making Bella want round two. Bella wiped off the main residue on the grass as Edward sucked on his fingers. Buttoning up they walked back to the car.

.

.

.

A/N Dear me, these pair are a tad horny!

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	28. Four Walls

A/N It wasn't my dream that created these characters.

.

.

.

Esme had made a delicious salad platter, a variety of meats and cheeses along with crackers and garlic bread. Both Bella and Edward avoided the garlic bread with thoughts of what might come later.

Edward's parents had a lovely home, it was detached with an on and off drive. It was set in several acres of greenery, the more immediate land planted with Dahlias, Impatiens and Sedums, Fountain grasses and Russian Sage. Orange, reds and lilacs. Stunning.

The old brick house was five bedroomed, with two and a half bathrooms – it was spacious yet homely.

Bella complimented Esme on her colour schemes and taste, before shyly adding that she quite liked her son too. Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head with embarrassment; even though he loved it... loved her.

Esme beamed.

Changing the subject Edward asked after his Father, "He's playing golf with Dave and George, if we'd know you were coming sooner he'd have rescheduled I'm sure, but you know there's no getting hold of him once they've teed off."

Esme was filled with excited nerves having Bella there, she could tell by the way her son looked at her that he was completely smitten – not missing the longing looks and pinkie touches. She did however; miss the foot and lower leg rubs under the table.

"Lunch was great Mom, thanks." Edward complimented as he kissed her temple and cleared the plates. "I'm going to load the car, is everything in the loft?"

"Yeah everything's in the yellow taped area." Bella looked a bit confused by Esme's instructions for the camping gear, so Esme explained. "We keep everything in different coloured taped areas because one year I spent the entire day searching for the sleeping bags. I found them of course but I was just so frustrated I cancelled the trip and made Carlisle pull everything down while I went up and put different coloured grids on the floor. Everything got tagged with a colours and then I drew up a colour coded list. I can find everything within minutes now." Esme announced proudly. Bella was gobsmacked. Her eyes flitted back and forth between Esme's satisfied face and Edward's wide-eyed, she's nuts face.

"Great idea!" she enthused, not having a clue of what else to say over her OCDness. **

"Bella I could do with a hand."

Bella smirked and followed her boyfriend up the stairs.

"You need my hand Edward?" she flirted.

"I need more than your hand..." he replied under his breath.

She slapped his butt, "All good things..." she teased as she skipped passed him, "So which is your room Lover Boy?" she questioned whilst walking backwards facing him.

"On your left," he nodded his head towards his door.

Bella stood with her back against his door and placed her hands on either side of the doorframe. As he stepped in front of her, he placed his hands on her breasts and cupped them. "Perfect."

Closing her eyes, she pushed her chest forward keeping her arms spread wide, strained against the wooden frame. He caressed her nipples through her top with his thumbs feeling their hardness.

He stopped abruptly moving his hands to his sides, causing Bella to stumble forward a little. She was confused until he told her they needed leave as quickly as possible, they still had a long drive and a tent to put up before nightfall and at this rate he'd be taking her in his family home with his mother listening to the creaky bedsprings.

Having him put it so eloquently, Bella couldn't help but agree.

They found the equipment easily - in the 'yellow area' and had the saloon packed in no time.

The drive seemed to take forever. They continued sharing stories, flirting and laughing but both of them just wanted to be there now - with the tent and Edward erect and both serving the purpose they were created for.

The temptation to pull over a stay in a Travel Lodge was great. Putting his foot to the floor, they sped along well past the seventy miles per hour speed limit.

Following signs for Wasdale Edward slowed, still above the speed limits for the roads, he couldn't help himself and any red blooded cop would understand should he get pulled over.

Roads wound round and snaked under the canopy cover, narrowing and becoming more like dirt tracks as they drove further into the countryside. Edward needed to slow down completely as he negotiated his way through, the track now lined with dense trees, before finally opening up to a huge lake just a few hundred metres away.

It was deserted - not many people wanted to camp in the summer in England let alone in the autumn months and even though the sun still shone bright in October, it was low in the sky and didn't offer enough warmth to warrant such an adventure.

It was Idyllic - picturesque.

Being free of the confines of the car was... well, freeing.

Stretching and gravitating towards each other, they hugged. It felt so good to be in each other's embrace – not wanting to let go but knowing they couldn't relax until the tent was done and they'd unpacked. The other benefit of the three-man tent was that it took less than ten minutes to put it up. Two minutes to roll out the self-inflating mattresses, ten seconds to thrown in the sleeping beds – job done.

Two picnic blankets were laid on the ground. The fire tin was loaded with coal and lit, the kettle placed on top and a fire blanket dropped by the front of the tent. Their timing was excellent because they were just loosing the last light of the day, it was still early though, nearly six. A whole evening to kill...

The flames died down and the coals burnt red, glowing embers warming the two lovers. Edward thoughtfully pulled the huge king sized fleece around Bella's shoulders, she smiled and opened the blanket so he could join her making sure she flashed him her come to bed eyes.

It wouldn't be long before she was flashing him a lot more than that.

He kneeled as he pushed her to the floor then ran his hands from her ankles right up to her thighs. Bella was ready to fall apart there and then. His strong hands continued their journey over hips, up her sides, skimming the sides of her breasts that were positively aching for him.

Grabbing his wrist, she pulled him down so that he was on his hands and knees over her. Now he was within _her_ reach.

She lifted up onto her elbows and pursed her lips as she searched his eyes in the glow from the makeshift stove. "I _really_ like this; I could be completely in love with this Edward Cullen. You... you are definitely _more_ – more than I could have imagined.

"I want this with you," she continued, "I want everything with you. To be yours completely," her voice was thick with emotion. "Back home..." her voice faded and she shook her head, "Is not enough," she whispered as tears pricked her eyes. His sexual intentions dissimulated for now as he sat back on his heels.

"Bella, I-I've made some decisions," he started, he wanted her to know, but he was afraid she'd see him as a failure. He had to tell her though because if this was going to work he had to be honest. He looked into the distance at the vast darkness as he gathered his thoughts. "I'm dropping out of University."

"Edward, no..."

"That part's not up for discussion Bella." He quipped being too harsh in his tone as he defended himself. "Sorry..." he whispered squeezing his eyes shut, "It is only the first term of the first year and I'm already being buried alive. I expected difficult, but this – this has been a slow suicide and I can't do it, I just can't Bella."

Looking towards her, he thought he'd see judgement, sympathy maybe – but he saw understanding.

"What will you do then, move back home?"

He nodded. Bella was mentally working things through; she could try a long distance relationship with him. A two-hour drive at weekends wouldn't be too bad – maybe they could meet half way during the week.

"Okay... Does Alice know? Your parents?"

"Not yet, but right now it's only important that you know."

"I didn't realise it'd had been that bad Edward." She cupped his cheek, "I'm sorry for not noticing, I just thought you were being thorough.

"So when will you leave the house?" She swallowed back her emotion.

"Not yet Bella, I want see if we're going to work before I... _we_ make any decisions. _Any_ distance will be too much now."

The shrill of the kettle caught them both by surprise, but now that it was boiled, they could have hot chocolate and snack on the food that Esme had kindly prepared and put in the cool box for them.

Nature hummed its nighttime song, the evergreen trees rustled and the nocturnal critters scurried as Bella and Edward huddled together for warmth and comfort. An uncertain future ahead individually, but together they had the support of each other and the potential was great.

.

.

.

A/N **OCDness - I like my bath towels folded a certain way and placed in the cupboard so the rolled edge faces out and my knives, forks and spoons _have_ to be in the same direction, I'm not even going to mention the labels on my tins of the food cupboard. *Shrugs* ;D

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	29. Morning Campers

A/N All's Steph's still.

.

.

.

She experienced several firsts last night – sleeping outdoors, being completely in love and sex with Edward.

Edward.

Edward Cullen.

_Sex... _with Edward Cullen.

No, it wasn't sex – sex sounded too clinical for what they'd done together. Made love? The love was already there, overwhelmingly so – no they didn't _make_ love either.

As she puzzled the semantics, Edward began to wake. The weight of her head on his chest and the sensation of her exploring touch made his whole body wake up.

"Sleep well Gorgeous?" She nodded and snuggled into his chest, her hand wandering lower. His erection twitched in anticipation.

Images of Bella on top, her hips thrusting back and forth as he assisted gripping her as her muscles gripped _him_. Her face contorted with pleasure, mouth slack and breasts bouncing came to the forefront of his mind.

Bella heard his gulp and chuckled as she pushed the sleeping bag down and ran kisses down his sternum. She nuzzled the hairs below his belly button, loving that she could. She ran her tongue down his shaft; scrunching her nose at the taste of rubber there, wishing Alice had been able to supply flavoured condoms. Edward's low growl wiped that thought though, as the urge to give him pleasure took over.

His sharp inhales of breath confirming her expertise turned her on but she continued to concentrate on him – taking in as much of him as possible.

Allowing her teeth to just the tiniest contact as she lifted her head back up. Edward's hand gripped at her hair before he loosened and held her head instead. He looked down to the masses off dark tendrils splayed across his chest and abdomen.

"Baby," he gasped, "Bella." She hummed in response the vibration causing his eyes to roll back. He cussed profanely as he came.

Bella smugly placed a single kiss on his now flaccid penis. She looked up at him through her long eyelashes, her sexy reddened smirk firmly in place. "Yes, I did."

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion; "You did what Baby?" his voice deep and raspy.

"Sleep well - _Baby_." She straddled him and placed her hands on either side of his head, leaning down she kissed his neck.

"Mhmmmm." He breathed her in and wrapped his arms around her; her skin was goose-bumped and ice cold. "Bella!" he admonished, "You're bloody freezing!" He quickly pulled the thick fleece around her and warmed her with his body.

"Fancy making me hot and sweaty then?"

His chest rumbled as he chuckled.

"Jasper's going to be well annoyed with us when he finds out Alice gave you all her supplies." He stated as he reached for the box of condoms.

"Let me." Bella reached for the packet from his hand and carefully tore it open. Edward was already hard again. After pinching the end, she slowly rolled it down over his erection, her tongue peeking out with her concentration. She tilted her head to the side when it was on and inspected her work.

Raising his eyebrows Edward asked, "Satisfied?"

"I will be in a minute Edward," she deadpanned.

"Is that a challenge?"

"If you like..."

Edward hadn't lasted very long last night, he'd fanaticised about her too many times and actually being inside her for the first time was too much, she was incredible. The sounds she made and visually, she was stunning - it just too much right from the start. In fact, he had done well to last the five minutes he had – just long enough for her to come too.

This time would be longer especially as she'd just milked him dry. He wandered if she'd seen to him first deliberately, had she been disappointed last night and wanted to make him last longer by taking the edge off?

He couldn't help his insecurity and it caused him to hesitate. Bella felt him tense up so she brought her hands up to his shoulders. "You okay?"

Her concern piqued as his face became pensive. "Edward?" He couldn't look her in the eye as his confidence dwindled.

"Was er... you know, last night... was it – okay?" he stuttered finally allowing Bella to understand his hesitance.

She kissed his frown, his cheeks, his jaw, his mouth.

"Edward last night was incredible, being with you, like _that_ made me complete – I have _never_ felt so good. You were perfect. _We_ were perfect."

Only now was he able to look at her - she glowed. Her smile beautiful, her eyes filled with love - love for him and here he was wasting time doubting, again. He realised there and then that she loved him despite his faults. She loved him.

He relaxed and tackled her causing her to scream and wriggle. Their playful kisses turned deep and conveyed their feelings in every way. Edward wanted to take his time with her and entering her let loose his tongue, he couldn't help but declare his love as he moved, circling his hips.

Bella met him gentle thrust for gentle thrust, lifting and tilting. She curled her arms around his shoulders and kissed his biceps as he kissed her throat.

He pushed into her deep over and over, his pelvis bone hitting her each time with a gorgeous rhythm. Her first orgasm that morning tore through her from deep within, weaving and shattering, her strangled cry divine to Edward's ears.

He didn't allow for any kind of recovery time, he knelt up still nestled inside her and moved her legs to his shoulders. This gave her move leverage to move her hips - Bella gripped at the fleece that was now discarded and bunched up underneath her. His thumb moved to her clitoris, Bella was writhing, her head pushing into the air mattress.

Beads of sweat formed on Edward's brow, he was barely able to open his eyes; he watched Bella through the small slits he was able to manage. He kissed and nipped her ankles then ran his tongue over her milky smooth calf.

Bella felt as if she couldn't cope, it was too much, all consuming.

"Bella come for me Baby, I'm close."

Edward was forced to bend slightly with the power of his orgasm sending him into temporary oblivion. Hearing Edward and seeing him so open and watching him, with his face glistening with effort as he poured into her, triggered her own, not as intense as before but breathtaking nonetheless.

A damp mass of lifeless limbs draped across each other as they drifted back to their slumber.

Bella woke as the tent overheated.

Edward was already up, he'd woken about twenty minutes previous and had gone down to the lake to collect a kettle of water to heat and wash in. He'd already scrubbed up before Bella surfaced and he was just preparing the sausages for breakfast.

"There's a bowl over water there Babe, it's just a bit better than tepid if you want to freshen up."

Bella admired him for a moment; he looked ten years younger than he had a few days ago. His skin had smoothed over and his eyes were bright, the green brilliant and vibrant.

Bella dropped the towel that was wrapped around her and began her strip wash. The sausages were completely forgotten as Edward took in her delicate features in the light of day.

Bella knew exactly what she was doing as she bent a certain way and leaned at a certain angle. She was a work of art in his eyes and she'd changed from the shy beauty he'd first met, into this confident sexy goddess. Just for him.

.

.

.

A/N Oh boy, outdoor sex with Edward... Hang on, like I care that it's outdoors – just the sex with Edward is enough!

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	30. Solitude

A/N Twilight characters and cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer.

.

.

.

Standing on top of the tallest hill, feeling the chill of the western breeze hand in hand was liberating. The vastness of patchwork fields in each and every direction showed them their insignificance in the universe. No matter their importance to each other and their loved ones, here they were miniscule – a single grain of sand.

Would they make their mark on the world?

Did they need to?

"If you could free yourself from everyone else's expectations of you, what would you really want to do?"

"What makes you think I'm trying to please everyone else?"

"Please Bella, give me some credit – you're a people person. There's no way you want to live stuck in an office all day, every day." He was right and she had been giving it a lot of thought.

Her chosen course bored her senseless, but there _was_ an expectation. Her parents were so proud of her achievements, could she possibly tell them she changed her mind?

Today, in this moment with Edward holding her, she freed herself and accepted the path she really wanted to take.

"I actually would love to be a nurse," she confessed.

"Yeah? You'd have people deliberating mutilating themselves to get on your ward."

She relished in his easy acceptance.

"Do you think it would be possible?" she asked as she wrapped herself around his arm.

"Why wouldn't it be? You're just at the start of your life Bella – don't let the world stop you from being yourself. This is your life. "

"I know you're right... Are _you _scared now – giving up your place at Uni, just relying on your A-Levels?"

"Nope. Plenty of people get work without a degree Babe."

"Is that what you want, to just work? What about enjoying a career?"

"What about enjoying _life_?"

She had always had it drummed into her that you didn't just get a job, you climbed the career ladder. Otherwise, what was the point? Edward put a different slant on it; he opened up a different thought process.

"So tell me how you would enjoy your life then?"

He tugged on her hand and they continued their hike.

"I love writing." This was news to Bella and she marvelled incredulously.

"Really, what like fiction?"

"A little when the mood takes me. My real passion... well besides _you_." He turned a planted a chaste kiss on her dry lips. "My real passion is music. You've heard Jasper play, right?" she nodded,

"Do you... play?" she added.

"I play the piano and the guitar a bit. I have a keyboard back out the house and my baby grand is at my parent's house."

"So you write music? Do you write lyrics too?" He nodded and grinned at her astonished face.

"I'm not saying I'm any good or anything, but it's what I enjoy." He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed at his neck as his cheeks flamed. "Jasper will often play some of my songs when he's tinkering on his guitar. It'd be good to write for a living, but I'm realistic enough to know I'll need a 9 to 5 job too."

Bella pondered on his revelation and the previous insight he had into her life, considering options that she never knew where open to her. Could she really just drop her course, would being a nurse really be feasible? Would she be able to live off that wage? Did the money really matter as long as she was happy?

Rain clouds began to form overhead contrary to the weather forecast, so they turned to the direction of their tent using the compass on Edward's phone.

They'd been out walking for hours and hadn't come across another soul - just rabbits and pheasants. They had seen a few deer in the distance but the timid beasts had scarpered as soon as they had attempted to get closer.

The occasional rain drops the size marbles splashed off their exposed skin.

"I just knew it would rain," she shook her head, "My flamin' cagoule's in the car!" she laughed.

Rolling her eyes they continued with their languid pace knowing their fate was to be drenched from head to toe anyway. Bella swung their linked hands between them in a carefree manner as they walked through the blades of grass and plantain.

"Sing me one of your songs?"

"Er... No!" He looked at her as if she had two heads.

"Go on... please. Pretty please with my naked breast on top."

"Promise?" he laughed, quirking his eyebrow and looking entirely too sexy.

"To be honest, you can have my naked breasts on top even if you don't sing, but I'd really love to hear something you've written."

"M'kay." Giving up easily, he cleared his throat.

Silence.

She nudged him with her elbow "Go on," she encouraged, "It's just me."

"Alright, alright, give a guy a chance – I need to build up to it." He didn't know how she could say, 'It's just me', there was no 'just' about her. Wanting her approval, hoping for her approval he began with something special, that was just for her anyway.

"_Sure of nothing, taking a chance,_" he began_  
>"Fear of the unknown, blind in this romance<br>Open to rejection that will poison your soul  
>A risk, a gamble, I could be left anything but whole."<em>

She wasn't expecting the velvet tones that wrapped around his lyrics. She melted as she bathed in his words. His voice wasn't perfect, not in a Michael Bublé kind of way, but it was smooth and masculine, soulful and passionate.

He didn't look at her as he sang. He had written this song just a couple of weeks after meeting her and even though they'd talked about their feelings, he was putting everything out there right now. He'd never sang his songs to anyone, Jasper only ever got the written version. Edward was out on an alter of sacrifice in the open fields, for the only woman he'd ever been this vulnerable with.

When he stopped, Bella threw herself on him, unable to control herself. Edward wished he'd been prepared for spontaneous sex, but as it was spontaneous, he wasn't, so unfortunately they only managed heavy petting. It wasn't _actually_ unfortunate, it was pretty darn sexy. She was sexy, with her eagerness and domineering.

They had patches of mud on various body parts and were soaked to the skin. With chattering teeth and weak legs, they made it back to their tent.

Edward dried her off first before taking care of himself. Grabbing his keys, he pulled her over towards the car.

With the heat on full, they warmed up in no time.

Stretching his arms and putting them behind his head he teased, "Bella Swan, I do believe you were the wildest thing out there today."

"I bite too you know..." her snark and wit making him hungry, he was becoming insatiable.

"Can't wait," he growled leaning towards her.

The day ended with barbecued food, more singing – just to bring out the animal in Bella, and hours of exploration, of each other.

Edward had hoped they'd become closer during the trip and as much as he loved her, what they were experiencing together was completely unexpected. He knew he wouldn't be able do a long distance relationship, he was pining just thinking about it.

If he moved home his parents would charge him next to nothing to stay at theirs for now, but Bella was in Cambridge. He decided he'd look for work in Cambridge instead and stay indefinitely, he was paying for his rent out of his trust fund anyway and had intended to do so throughout Uni so he mind's well continue.

He casually wondered if Bella would really change her course and do nursing. He hoped so, but he would support her no matter what she chose to do anyway.

.

.

.

A/N It rains for nearly half the year in the UK... and I always carry my umbrella no matter what the weather forecast says... :/

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	31. Typically British

A/N Mrs Meyer, Stephenie Meyer, Steph – I thank you.

.

.

.

Crawling out of the tent on your hands knees onto soggy grass was no way to start the day. Missing the benefits of bricks, mortar and a tiled roof Bella stood on her bare feet feeling a bit dishevelled. Fat slugs slowly slithering their morning away causing Bella to cringe and shudder.

It was _still _raining.

Edward had put up some sort of canopy over the tent entrance using branches and bin liners to shelter Bella when she clambered out. It was very thoughtful. Unfortunately, at that exact moment, the weight of the collected water tore the thin plastic and Edward was just in time to see the event unfold before him. He watched wide-eyed and forlorn as Bella had what looked like several litres of cold rain-water dumped on the left side of her head - successfully drenching the whole of her left side.

Her expression was solemn as their eyes met. He gulped and held his breath, he was going to get his butt kicked he was sure of it. She let out what can only be described as a war cry and ran. Not sure what to make of her Edward remain rooted to the spot as he watched her manic actions.

The sort of dry half of her had polka dot wet patches that were starting to merge. Still Edward remained stoic. She was heading straight for the lake. She ran straight _into_ the lake. Bella forced herself to continue until the water was just under her chin. It was freezing. She pulled off her t-shirt and jog bottoms and held them triumphantly above her head.

Edward howled with laughter, "You're a bloody nutter!"

"Come in Edward, it's soooo warm."

"Sure it is!" he shouted back, "What the hell," he muttered under his breath and charged forward letting out his own war cry.

They were going to get pneumonia he was sure of it.

.

.

By late afternoon the supposedly rain free day _was_ actually now rain free.

"What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten, your cooking not included?"

"My word Bella, you are just hilarious," he retorted, sarcasm dripping from each word. "Actually I had a bit of a competition with Jasper last year. Oh my life, I feel ill just thinking of it," he shuddered. "Jasper needed a hundred quid 'cause he'd seen a bracelet he wanted to buy for Alice for Christmas and he'd just spent his monthly allowance on the rest of her gifts.

"We had a competition of sorts. We both wrote down five items that wouldn't kill you, but would be really gross to eat and put the paper in a plastic bag. So obviously whatever I had put on my five pieces paper I could possibly end up having to eat."

"So he'd get a hundred pounds? What'd you get if you ate the most disgusting thing and he lost?"

"Well he had this didgeridoo that I thought was pretty cool, so we made a deal. We would pull out a piece of paper each from the bag, then get hold of the _food_ and eat it. If we both ate what was written on the paper then we'd draw out another and keep going until one of us couldn't eat our nominated food."

"And you called me a nutter for going for a swim," Bella teased.

"You _are_ a nutter – it'd been warmer swimming in the Atlantic."

Bella rolled her eyes overly dramatic.

"So mine was first up, Hasma which is a dessert and when I say dessert, I use the term loosely." He grimaced.

"Never heard it," Bella said shaking her head.

"No, I don't suppose most normal people have, clearly Jasper's not normal. Basically it's a bowl of frog's fallopian tubes with sugar." Edward fake gagged.

"No way... did you eat it?" He nodded. "Eww, vile... and Jasper?

"He certainly did!"

"What did you two get to eat next?"

"First off – he got a well deserved punch in the arm, because _that_ was plain ridiculous, then he actually picked another one of his own, I tell you mine were totally easy compared to his. I forget what it was called, but it was a freakin' fertilised duck egg, with a blooming baby duck in it covered in its yolk."

"You 're kidding?" From the look on Edward's face he most definitely wasn't. "And?"

"He couldn't do it and I became the proud owner of his didgeridoo. So... what's the worst thing you've ever eaten?"

"Well considering I _am_ normal Edward, I suppose black pudding is the worst thing, but that pales in comparison to yours."

"Not by much, doesn't that mainly consist of dried animal blood?"

"_Yeah_, but lots of people eat it with their fry ups." She narrowed her eyes at him condescendingly, "At least it's actually heard of and you can buy it over the counter from the local supermarket! What did you have to do to get your _Hashmo_, perform a couple of dozen frog hysterectomies?"

"_HasMA_," he corrected, "We ordered it from a local Chinese restaurant actually, the thought of eating it was worse than actually eating it. It tasted alright to be honest, a little chewy – they reckon it's good for coughs and stuff."

"I'll stick with a couple of spoons of cough medicine thanks."

"After your skinny dipping you may well need some cough medicine. How you feeling?"

"Like an early night, you?" her waggling eyebrows suggested she had more than sleep in mind.

Edward fake yawned, "Yup, I'm definitely in need of an early night. Let me just make sure the coals are out."

Hearing the zip on the tent Edward glanced over just as Bella's naked butt dived on the air mattress. He loved the '_Blue Lagoon_' feel to their mini holiday. Well, minus the getting pregnant and eating poisonous berries parts.

.

.

.

A/N Info from www . toptenz . net

Jasper's gross food. If someone placed balut on your plate, you might think they were serving you a hardboiled egg. That is, until you cracked it open and a fully intact duck embryo spilled out. Balut, considered a delicacy in many Asian countries, is produced when fertilized duck eggs are placed in warm sunlight. After about eight days, the eggs are held up to the light and checked to ensure that the budding embryo is ready. Then, the eggs are cooked and served with a dash of salt and a few squirts of lemon juice.

Bella's gross food. Black pudding. This dish is comprised largely of blood drawn from pigs, cattle or sheep. However, it doesn't become blood pudding until the blood is allowed to coagulate, a filler of oatmeal, barley or sweet potato is added, and the entire mass is brought to a boil. During the cooking process, a delightful skin is produced atop the goo. While some like to remove the skin before plunging their spoon into the pudding, others enjoy its chewy texture and prefer to eat it last.

Yum!

Only another 3 chapters guys...

Let me know what you think – so many silent readers, I don't bite – much. ;)

Ficturesque x


	32. Dry Out

A/N Twilight characters and cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer.

.

.

.

Unable to tolerate canvass and rain another day, they packed up and headed back to Edward's parents house. When Edward called ahead to ensure someone was home, Esme had suggested that Edward and Bella stay, at least for the night. Bella was hesitant not wanting to impose but Edward insisted she wouldn't be as his mom wouldn't suggest it if she hadn't meant it.

As soon as they arrived, Edward popped the tent back up in the basement to dry out and dragged Bella upstairs to use his en suite whilst his mom went out food shopping for tea.

Turning Edward's back rub down was not an easy decision for Bella, but the water was steaming hot and powerful and it had felt like a lifetime since she felt fully clean. Indulging in shower sex would have to wait for another day.

Tea with the Cullen's proved to be very informative. Esme felt it was a Rite of Passage to humiliate Edward as much as possible by telling Bella his childhood stories.

Esme was sharing a particular Christmas story from when Edward was five. He'd sneaked downstairs on the night they'd put the Christmas tree up. It has been decorated beautifully with various baubles, tinsel and homemade trinkets, but the pièce de résistance was the individually wrapped chocolates hanging on the golden thread.

Having successfully made it to the main lounge undetected Edward proceeded to remove the chocolates, eat them and then wrap plasticine up in the same wrappers and replaced them on the tree. It went unnoticed for a week.

"I was so impressed by his ingenuity that I couldn't possibly tell him off." Carlisle shook his head in amusement and patted his wife's hand affectionately.

Bella glanced at Edward several times and each time he was watching her with a small smile on his face. Being there with Bella, her interacting with his family felt perfect. Sometimes when she laughed, tears glazed her eyes, she arh'd in the right places and won his parents over with her easy way and sense of humour.

Carlisle asked about the degree she was working towards and she surprised Edward by telling him she'd changed her mind and was going to be an nurse instead. He hadn't realised she would be announcing her decision so soon. She told them how she'd felt obliged to take the path she had but realised she'd never be truly happy that way.

Carlisle seemed concerned that she was being too spontaneous and suggested she talk to her parents before dropping out. Bella graciously thanked him for his advice but explained that whereas she would be _telling _her parents about her about the change, the decision had already been made; she'd already tried _their _way.

She also said that she would hope her mom and dad would understand, after all parents raise their children in the best way they know and then trust that they've done a good enough job to allow their children to be independent responsible adults.

Edward felt so proud of her. He also appreciated that she had paved the way for him to delivery his own news.

"Have you considered which University you might attend?"

Edward hoped his Dad would keep the questions light and not integrate as he usually did, deciding that if he became overbearing he'd step in.

"Birmingham's Edgbaston Campus looks okay." She looked at Edward as she continued, "But I'm not bound by any particular university. I'll obviously have to talk with them about starting dates and such as I've missed the September start date now – but if I end up having to wait until next year I'd love to do voluntary work."

"And you can afford to do that?"

His question was abrupt almost accusing.

"Dad!"

"What? It's a reasonable question Edward." Esme placed her had on Carlisle's arm. "Sorry Bella, I just meant that if you were relying on your parents to fund you that you might want to consider paid work, in a shop or something."

Bella was taken aback by the question, especially as the was the first time they had met, but she could see he was a no nonsense man and wasn't offended.

"I have my own money Carlisle," she affirmed, "My parents are not in a position to pay towards my education, but they don't need to, so..." she shrugged.

"What area are you interested in?"

Bella felt suddenly nervous and looked down at her plate, conscious of the scrutiny she was under she looked Carlisle in the eye, "Mental Health."

Edward's knife clattered on his plate and Bella glanced at him, "Really?" he asked, Bella nodded wishing she'd spoken to him first. Carlisle and Esme exchanged their own looks.

"Well I'm sure that there's some work I could offer you at my hospital voluntary Bella, I will look into it." Carlisle was a joint partner in a private practise and specialised in plastic surgery, but any experience would be valuable.

Conversation flowed easy enough, but Bella noticed Edward was quieter than usual.

"That was delicious as always Darling." Carlisle complimented his wife on her culinary skills, "Alistar and his wife have invited us over this evening, do you feel up to it?"

Esme sensed Edward's mood change and wanted to give him and Bella some privacy to talk even though she was in need of an early night.

"That sounds lovely; it's been such a long time since we've visited them. I just sort out the kitchen." Esme stood as did Bella.

"Esme please allow me, I'm sure Edward can tell me where everything goes." Esme's kind eyes lingered on Bella's for a moment, before she nodded.

"That would be lovely, thank you Bella. Edward, you can dry up, okay?" Without raising his eyes, Edward nodded and reached for his glass of water. "I'll just go and freshen up then, Carlisle are you coming?"

Esme's tone actually said _Carlisle you are leaving this room right now if you want to or not_. Carlisle knew his wife well and vacated the room.

Bella went to Edward immediately and took his hands in hers, "Sorry, I should have spoken to you first."

"Because of me?" he mumbled, "To nurse me?"

"No, not to nurse you! From what I've seen you don't _need_ nursing. I can't say that you haven't influenced my decision though, because you have. Nursing has always been something I've wanted to do, but I've never been set on a specific area... until recently."

She pulled a chair over and sat opposite him. "I love you and I want to be a nurse, there's no harm in me taking this direction – to understand more."

"Look we'll clean up and talk about _this, _about my illness... okay? I guess that's something we've never really done before." He brought her hand up to his face and kissed the inside of her wrist. "For the record, I love you too."

All was quiet until Carlisle popped his head around the kitchen door, "We're off, see you guys later."

"Bye Carlisle, have a good evening," she gave him a little wave and immediately felt foolish, but Carlisle smiled and returned it with a little wave of his own.

"See you later Dad."

"Bye son."

The front door closed and the silence resumed. Hating the sombre mood Edward selected a CD and put it on quietly in the background. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Edward led Bella out into the heated conservatory and they sat at the ornate cast iron table. Edward picked up an apple from the fruit bowl centrepiece and passed it back and forth between his hands.

"Tell me what you already know and I'll fill you in on the rest."

"I don't actually know _that_ much, just that, well that-" Bella hated labelling him with his illness but fumbling around his diagnosis wouldn't be conducive. "I know you have Psychosis, specifically Paranoia and that poor diet and stress increases its frequency." Edward nodded in agreement.

"Yeah... I take medication to help control it too, but you're right stress, being over tired, too much alcohol and eating to many wasted calories doesn't really help. I have Delusion; it has... similarities to Paranoia. You've seen me at my worse though, although in the past it's lasted anything up to a week. Generally, I'll experience half a dozen or so in a year.

"So is there anything you want to know?" He was uncomfortable and felt like a freak show, but if he was to have a future with Bella, they couldn't carry on sweeping it under the carpet.

"Jasper said the best thing I can do is to just stay with you, is that right? I mean you _hated_ me and were really mad at me, was I doing the best thing by staying with you?"

Edward looked pained, "Bella I don't want to upset you, if you can't be there, leave."

"I want to be there if that's what _you _want Edward. If you, I don't know, if you broke your leg I'd be there for you. I need to be there - I'd feel like I was abandoning you."

"Thank you, I really mean it Bella. It won't be easy but if you _can_ be there it does help. When an episode has passed, I remember everything and the emotional pain is still there. So last time I still felt as though you'd cheated on me - getting back in touch with reality would be easier if you were there with me through it. Talking about what I said or did, I think it will help us both."

"I didn't know if you'd want to talk about it after, I thought it might make you feel guilty or something and I didn't want that for you on top of everything else."

"Mental Health is what you really want to do? You're not feeling obliged now because of me?"

"No! This has been good, chatting, thank you. Edward please don't ever feel like you can't talk to me, we need to communicate all things - even the difficult stuff." She stood and then straddled his lap, the table was digging in her back but she ignored the discomfort.

They sat wrapped in each other's arms until Bella became sleepy, "Bed?" she suggested.

After getting into Edward's double bed, they talked about what they'd be doing over the next few days. Bella told Edward that she needed to see her parents at some point. He told her he'd tell his parents his news first and then head off to her parents afterwards.

"Is that your escape plan, run off to my parents?"

He chuckled, "Darn it, you sussed me."

"What do you think your Dad'll say?"

"I'm going to try your tactic and tell him he's taught me well and that I'm now an independent adult..."

"You were taking notes? Excellent," she smirked.

"He'll understand when I explain what the last few weeks have been like; he won't want me getting stressed out, besides mom'll back me. After all she does wear the trousers in this house."

Edward's bed was comfortable and they soon dozed off, legs intertwined as they faced each other, breathing contently as their noses touched.

.

.

.

A/N About time they talked about his condition...

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	33. Over

A/N I know it's shocking but Twilight characters and cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer.

.

.

.

Knowing that Carlisle was due in work early, Edward got up at six and put on the coffee machine so he could talk with his father before he left.

Carlisle was surprised to see Edward up but kept his face neutral as he poured himself a drink.

"Dad?"

"Son?"

"I'm just going to come straight out with it."

"Go on then."

"Ok."

"Okay."

"Right."

"Edward?"

"I can't handle the stress of Uni Dad... I've been studying for hours every night – it just doesn't stick. So-"

"So?"

"I'm packing it in."

"I see."

"Do you?"

Carlisle took a moment before nodding, "Was that what brought the last episode on so soon?"

"I guess."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes, fine."

"I'm going to get a job, just so you know."

"I know."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Slightly bewildered by his father's reaction or _lack _of reaction, Edward was unsure of what else to do or say.

Carlisle had already guessed that University was taking its toll on his son, after Alice had called again so soon the other week. Esme had suggested that they tell Edward to come home, but Carlisle reasoned with her, telling her that Edward needed to be the one to make that decision.

She agreed with him knowing her maternal instincts needed to be reined in, but she had cried herself to sleep that night. She wished she could make it easier for him and felt useless. Carlisle reassured her and held her as she sobbed, tearing up himself as he thought about the difficulties Edward would face throughout his life.

"So you and Bella are serious?" Carlisle wanted to resume a casual conversation, but realised too late that his topic choice might not achieve that.

"I love her, if that's what you mean by serious."

Carlisle wasn't surprised by Edward's admission so much but of the fact he'd told _him _at all. "She obviously feels the same way... I'd say she was a keeper."

"I'd say you were right."

"Good."

"Good." Edward confirmed smirking now he was able to be easy with his father.

Carlisle stepped towards Edward. "Glad we did this son," he ruffled his hair and told Edward he was proud of him and that he loved him.

"Love you too Dad. I'm gonna head back to bed, we won't see you later we'll be gone by the time you get home. I'm meeting Bella's parents."

Carlisle put his hand on his son's shoulder and patted it, "Nervous?"

"Dad, I haven't had chance to even think about it yet, I've been too wound up thinking about this morning with you to be thinking about anything else." Carlisle laughed and pulled Edward into a hug.

"Good luck. Let me know if you need your 'ole man to come and sort hers out." He winked, picked up his briefcase and walked off briskly, not wanting to be late for an early morning procedure that was booked in for eight.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Edward eagerly made his way back to Bella.

With the skills of a ninja Edward opened his bedroom door and slipped in only to find his bed cold and empty. He heard the shower being turned on, it wasn't the only thing – just the thought of Bella was enough to turn _him_ on, but a naked, wet, soaped up Bella – he was solid and weeping. Thankfully, he remembered to pick up a condom on his way to his en suite.

Stopping in his tracks, he stood and gawped at her.

Her wetted hair draped down her toned shoulder blades, just skimming the curve of her butt cheeks as she tipped her head back. She pushed the hair off her face with cupped hands, dragging them up and over her forehead and scalp. The shower jets pummelled against her flesh, causing her to moan appreciatively.

Edward couldn't handle _just _spectating a moment longer. He stripped with haste, his eyes never leaving her. He gaped as she turned to the side and leaned back, he had a spectacularly erotic view. The suds were running down her body tracing the curve of her breast, the dip of her waist, her hip and thigh, Bella's hand followed its trail. The shower screen became too misted, just leaving just her silhouette visible.

His breathing picked up and he fisted the condom in one hand and his hard-on in the other.

Quickly opening the screen, he stepped in behind her and pressed his entire body against hers. Bella raised her arms and weaved her fingers through his hair, tilting her head to the side as she sought out his lips. He didn't deny her.

Pulling her impossibly closer he caressed and kneaded her breast with his free hand - the soap allowing his hand to roam without friction, up over her nipple and round over the fullness of her chest. Running his hand down over the path her own had travelled just moments ago, only Edward changed direction just above her thigh, tracing his finger pads into her dark curls, seeking her feminine heat.

His length pressed eagerly against her - she leaned forward as much as the cubicle would allow pushing her behind into him. Edward tore the foil and wrapped up with lightening speed, pushing into her with aching need. He stilled to enable her to become accustomed to the position, as they hadn't been together like this before. Bella splayed her hands and fingers out on the slate grey tiles bracing herself for everything Edward had to give – and boy did he give.

Digging his fingers into her hips as she arched her back, he pulled back and pushed in slowly, but that was the last of slow. Skin against skin slapped together, his pace unsustainable but yet he somehow managed and Bella met him thrust for thrust. In order to keep their passion quiet Bella bit into her lip and Edward buried his face into her back.

The angle change brought Edward deeper, it was fast, and it was frantic.

Bella's feet slid forward due to his momentum.

"Edward..." Bella was now putting all her weight on her forearms against the wall as she panted and gasped.

He continued to caress her slippery skin, so sensitive, so sensual. The build up was quick and urgent.

"Babe, I'm close..." Edward couldn't hold back any more and came deep inside her. He clung to her waist as he regained some of his strength. "That was... blimey Bella, wow... _insane_." He pulled out holding the top of the condom and dropped it to the floor.

Bella was still wound tight as she hadn't been able to come, leaning back against the wall she tried to catch her breath. Edward kissed her greedily, delving his tongue in and tasting her. He slipped his two fingers between her folds, taking her by surprise. She was quivering and struggling to stay upright the closer she got, she gripped onto him as she came on his fingers. Edward slowed his movements to draw out her orgasm, feeling her muscles pulsing and clenching.

They continued kissing and touching until Edward heard his mom knocking at his bedroom door.

"I'll be back," he whispered.

While he went to see what his mother wanted, Bella switched off the shower and dried herself off. She was just straightening up as she caught Edward checking her out.

"Everything okay with your mom?" she offered unable to hide her happiness.

"Yeah, she was just giving us the heads up that the neighbour was round, you know, just in case we were going to parade around half naked." The mischievous glint in his eyes turned tender and he told her she was the best thing to ever happen to him and that sex had never felt like that before.

"I can't hold anything back with you Bella." He told her hoping she understood that he gave her everything he had physically and emotionally.

She knew exactly what he meant, as her feelings for him were almost overwhelming.

.

.

As they tucked into their toast and poached eggs Bella's phone vibrated indicating a new text. It was Bella's mother responding to the text she had sent before she'd gotten into the shower.

'_In Germany til nxt wk c u wen bak.'_

Bella chewed on her nail.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, that was mom; she and my Dad are in Germany so we won't be able to see them today.

"Arh well, " she mused, "I'll just give them call when they get back."

"Do you want to stay here for a few more days then, or head back?"

"Is it alright if we head back? We could get things finished up at Uni, and I could e-mail Birmingham University and get the ball rolling, maybe do some virtual home hunting?" Edward agreed with her whole heartedly loving her exuberance for their future.

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed thinking of the unhindered sex they would be having in a couple hours.

Understanding the lust in his eyes, Bella winked at him before jumping to her feet, "Come on then stallion, the quicker we go the quicker we can come."

.

.

.

A/N Hands up those who adore Carlisle. *Waves both hands*

Next one is the last one...

Let me know what you think.

Ficturesque x


	34. Starting Something

A/N Twilight characters and cannon belong to Stephenie Meyer.

.

.

.

Tying up loose ends in Cambridge was relatively easy. They were both expected to pay Cambridge University their tuition fees up until the end of the first term. Bella's tutor was disappointed as he'd had high hopes for her and felt her potential would be wasted on nursing.

Bella wasn't sure how she managed to not give him a mouth full for his naive comment, it might have had something to do with chewing the inside of her mouth until it bled that stopped her. He may have been highly qualified man but he talked total crap.

Edward's tutor wasn't disappointed, in fact she was delighted.

"Well of course I'll miss your presence in the classroom, but we could help soften the blow by seeing each other _out _of the classroom." She uncrossed her legs slowly ensuring maximum exposure. Edward was extremely flattered by her attention; after all, she was an attractive, confident woman in her mid to late twenties, who wouldn't be?

"Miss Chambers-"

"I prefer Chelsey."

Pinching his eyebrow between his index finger and thumb Edward stood and awkwardly stepped back.

"Er... it's not that you're not umm... you know – but I'm already dating someone, so..." he stammered.

"I can be discrete. You're young with unlimited stamina, I'm sure you'll cope," she flirted as she dragged her eyes down over each inch of his body.

Not one to be normally rendered speechless, Edward _was _actually speechless. He turned and left the room as quickly as he could, suddenly feeling like a piece of man meat and not wishing to be in the compromising position for a moment longer.

Bella didn't offer him any sympathy when he told her.

"I'd have done the exact same thing had I been in her shoes and she hasn't even tasted the goods," she replied.

Edward tilted his head as he answered her, "You like the _taste_ of my goods Bella?" Waggling his eyebrows.

"Maybe," she answered blushing.

"No need to get all coy on me Babe – I love the taste of _your _goods. In fact I'd much rather be tasting you instead of this," he was pointing to the Starbucks coffee in front of him on the table.

"Edward!" she hissed, suddenly self-conscious.

Laughing he continued to tease her.

"Yeah I'd love to be drinking your milk right now," he was exaggerating his lip licking staring directly at her chest.

"Ugh, who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?" Edward reached for her hand and gently squeezed her fingers.

"I love you know that, you own me Bella Swan."

Her smile was instant. "And don't you forget it!"

.

.

Telling Jasper and Alice they were moving out wasn't as easy.

"Why can't you do your nurse stuff here?" Alice pouted, "I've gotten used to you now Bella, you can't just up and leave – you're obligated to see our friendship through."

Alice was teasing Bella, sort of, but she would miss her fiercely.

"I'm sure Rose will keep you occupied Alice."

"You are kidding, she practically lives with Emmett now – she only comes home to collect her post."

"Well why don't you move in with Jasper or vice versa." Bella, the voice of reason suggested.

"'Cause Jazz has never asked..." She looked at Jasper expectantly. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Alice will you leave your lonely shack and share my abode with me once these pair of slackers move on out?"

"Slackers huh? You think nursing for the NHS is going to be a walk in the park? Whatever Whitlock.

"Alice you should really consider your options, your man is delusional-" Bella froze in place, she closed her eyes and berated herself for her slip up.

Alice broke the silence, "Bella you're the one whose man is delusional." Alice and Edward burst out laughing, swiftly followed by Jasper and a relieved Bella.

"So will you?" Jasper asked again, when he finally managed to control himself.

"My bags are already packed Jazz; I've only been waiting _forever_!"

.

.

Course enquiries made, potential houses and flats perused and job applications sent – it was now a waiting game.

Alice discussed her plans with Rose, who was quite perturbed; she didn't want to seem reliant on a man – even if that man came in the form of sexy 6ft 1inches of burly muscle, ocean blue eyes and magic fingers. That was not something she saw in her future, so she contacted her landlord Jacob Black, to see if any of his other tenants were looking for someone to share with.

Unfortunately, there wasn't, but he told her one of his one-bed flats would be available in a few weeks. She arranged a viewing with him for the weekend. It turned out that the rent would work out a little bit more than what she was currently paying for her share in the rent with Alice, but she would have complete privacy and she would have her, all important, independence.

.

.

With the half term holiday over Jasper, Alice and Rose returned to Uni.

Bella received a letter asking her to attend Birmingham University to discuss her options.

In Edward's post, there were three replies to his job application forms - one for a HMV salesperson for one of their Birmingham City Centre Branches, one at a secondary school as a teaching assistant and the other as a receptionist for Beautiful World.

Confused Edward loaded up his laptop and Googled, 'Beautiful World'; he didn't remember sending them an application.

**BEAUTIFUL WORLD SPA AND SALAD BAR  
><strong>  
><em>Do you feel the mirror doesn't reflect who you are?<br>Does looking at ugly people get you down?  
>Treat yourself to a beautiful life.<em>

_~ Our attractive staff will beautify you ~_

There was _no way_ he had sent them an application.

"I knew you'd get an interview for that one!" Bella giggled.

Edward eyed her suspiciously as she walked in, "You sent off the application form for _this_?" gesturing towards the pile of papers.

"Certainly did – look what they're paying Edward and all you have to do is greet people and answer phone calls."

"Thirty grand? There has to be a catch – no one pays a receptionist thirty thousand pounds." He continued tapping away and clicking his mouse.

**BEAUTIFUL WORLD SPA AND SALAD BAR**

_~We value our staff~_

_* 26 days paid annual leave  
>* Sick pay (after trial 3 month trial period)<br>* Two free treatments per week  
>* Uniform supplied<em>

He double clicked the 'Uniform Supplied' – his eyes went wide. "No way, absolutely no way. Did you know?"

"Know what?" she replied straining her neck to see what he was referring to.

"I'd get to wear a white muscle t-shirt which it states as bloody optional and white cycling shorts. I won't be turning up for _that_ interview!" he scoffed.

"Oh come on," Bella encouraged, "They don't get to touch you Edward; you'd just be eye candy. Well paid eye candy – it's nearly double what you'd be paid at HMV and you don't even know how long they'll keeping their stores open what with everyone down loading music."

What she said made sense, but all he could think about it what other people would say.

"It'll take the pressure off you; you wouldn't have sales targets to meet. Alright," she continued, "Let's think about the future you do want. You sell your music, your picture ends up in a magazine – you're going to have to get used to being looked at and admired." Bella paused briefly before continuing a little less sure of herself, "Just don't forget about me okay?"

"What the heck Bella?" He pulled her into his lap, "_If_ I sell my music and _if_ my face ends up in a magazine - I could _never_ forget about you." He buried his head in her boobs, smiling as she played with his hair. "But I'm just going for the other two jobs...okay? I only want to be _your _eye candy."

Bella nodded sheepishly, silently relieved.

"I quite fancy the TA job at the secondary school though; thirteen weeks holiday a year sounds pretty good. Obviously I'd have to disclose my medical history, I'm not sure how well _that_ will go down? But it would give me plenty of time to write."

Edward made three phone calls, one to cancel an interview and two to confirm. He also called to arrangement views at several rented properties too.

Right there and then everything was up in the air, but less than two weeks later everything had been finalised.

Edward was offered the TA position, on a six-month trial period subject to medical clearance. The Head had been extremely impressed with his general subject knowledge and thanks to the glowing reference from the Youth Club he'd worked at for nine months when he was seventeen, he had impressed them enough to beat the other four candidates.

The Occupational Health Clinic were very thorough. They had detailed discussions with his doctors and sought independent advice. It was decided that he wouldn't pose a threat to the pupils or staff as he could recognise the oncoming of an episode and had no history of violence.

Birmingham University couldn't offer Bella a place until the following September, but through Edward's connections at work, she was able to secure a volunteered position at a Day-Care Centre for adults with mental disabilities.

It wasn't plain sailing for the couple. Edward next episode lasted for three days, Bella coped, as did Edward. It took a few weeks for things to get back to normal afterwards though, as this time, Edward thought she was using him.

When being in the house became too overwhelming for her she had gone out to get some fresh air, unfortunately while she was out Edward had contacted everyone on her mobile contact list and told them all that she was a manipulator and not to trust her.

Surprisingly she had the most difficulties with her voluntary placement; she thought they would have been the most understanding once she explained why Edward had made the call. This wasn't the case, the Manager had told her they couldn't afford a scandal and put Bella on a warning.

Edward completed his six-month trial and was given a permanent contract at the school, originally he'd applied just so he could benefit from the holidays, but now it was just as much a part of him as his music. He ran lunchtime clubs and after school activities, which were extremely popular with the pupils.

He had garnered interest in his music, and signed up with a publishing company. It had been a slow process initially – he went out to every songwriter event he could, putting himself out there, mixing with the right people.

One contact introduced him to another, eventually leading him to a five-song contract, which led to a ten-song contract.

Bella completed her nursing degree and now worked three long shifts a week for Queen Elizabeth Psychiatric Hospital.

They still saw Alice and Jasper, usually once or twice a month. Recently they went to the Christening of Emma Hale-McCarty, Rose and Emmett's five-month-old daughter.

Rose had just found out she was expecting again and due to some bleeding, received an early scan, which had detected two heartbeats. Even though Rose was now living with Emmett, she was still adamant she wouldn't be tied down by marriage. Emmett just laughed saying that as long as he got to tie her down on the bed occasionally he didn't need a piece of paper to prove she was his. It didn't go unnoticed that she didn't argue about being 'his'.

Plans changed along the way, but they all found their purposes in life and proved that despite what life throws at you, you can still thrive.

.

.

.

A/N Hope you enjoyed my little fic, I loved writing it!

Let me know what you think, what you liked what you hated – feedback will help me improve!

Thanks for reading, see you soon.

Ficturesque x


End file.
